


What is in Your Heart

by Mytha



Series: By Heart [1]
Category: Dragon Age (Video Games), Dragon Age - All Media Types, Dragon Age: Inquisition
Genre: Angst, Bisexual Female Character, Body Horror, Cassandra and the Inquisitor get together a little later, F/F, Fluff, Friends to Lovers, Hurt/Comfort, Pining, Romance, Shakespeare's works totally exist in Thedas, Slow Burn, Trespasser, gratuitous bathing, loss of limb
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-14
Updated: 2017-06-20
Packaged: 2018-06-08 10:54:28
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 14
Words: 44,257
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6851809
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mytha/pseuds/Mytha
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Reuniting with Cassandra Pentaghast in Halamshiral before the Exalted Council makes Sula Lavellan rather emotional. </p><p>(That marriage talk is not easy to get over when you have been harboring a persistent crush on your Seeker friend for years.)</p><p>Starting a romance during Trespasser turns out to be rather difficult.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. What is in Your Heart

**Author's Note:**

> Some parts of the dialogue are taken from the "Trespasser" DLC as the story follows the events of the game.

Sula Lavellan had been looking forward to coming back to Halamshiral as it promised the reunion with many of the friends she had accumulated during her early days as the Inquisitor. Some had stayed at her side, of course, and some she had been in frequent contact with, but a lot of her closest confidantes had left her side to pursue their own callings and duties. Out of the once tight-knit group of people that had made up the Inquisition in its heyday only Commander Cullen and the Inquisition's ambassador, Josephine Montilyet, remained. Therefore the approaching Exalted Council filled her both with trepidation and a form of nervous nostalgia.

The Winter Palace was as opulent and imposing as she remembered it, its gilded roofs and elegant spires rearing up towards the sky and dwarfing the visitors approaching it. Intentionally so, she mused. This was a building that seemed intent on putting you in your place. No wonder, considering its history. The thought put a deep frown on her face and brought her out of her thoughts and to the present again. She watched her surroundings more alertly. People had grown more accustomed to the elven Inquisitor, but her reception was not always friendly. 

Riding towards the palace with Cullen and Josephine at her side she noted the latter's delight at the Orlesian splendor - and the former's obvious discomfort. Sula felt pity for the Commander. He had been rather a success at the ball they had attended some years prior, much to his regret. The marriage proposals and related inquiries making their way to the Inquisition afterwards had been a constant source of amusement to Josephine and Leliana, and they had delighted in torturing the man with it.

__

The processions and obligatory political welcomes and niceties over with Sula was only too happy to be finally shown to her quarters. Josephine had taught her well in the art of diplomacy, but it required a concentration Sula did not always find she had the patience for. Travel-weary she rid herself of the uncomfortable jacket of her dress uniform and looked around. The rooms were airy and luxurious, a glowing example of Orlesian interior design, decorated with many expensive trinkets and lavish paintings. _I will never understand Orlesians._

The centerpiece of the bedroom was an imposingly large canopied monstrosity that she felt far more delighted with than was probably proper. Many months spent in drafty tents on Inquisition standard bedrolls did wonders for one's appreciation of real mattresses and eiderdown duvets. She had grown up without these Shemlen luxuries, of course, but the older she got and the more her bones ached on the cold ground she found she was rather thankful for them. She flopped down on the bed with a weary but contented sigh and closed her eyes. Oh, it would be wonderful to just curl up and give in to exhaustion.

_Forget it_ , she reproached herself. Leliana's invitation had been full of urgency. There was no time for idleness.

Sula felt apprehension well up in her. What was this going to be about? Well,... the future of the Inquisition, no doubt. Ferelden had been very vocal in calling for their dissolution. _Am I ready for this to be over? Is now the time?_

Leliana – Divine Victoria – had been rather cryptic so far, however. There might be other problems for them to deal with. Another sigh escaped her. She should freshen up and go down to the gardens to try and talk to the Divine and just get it over with. Do what was expected of her. If she was lucky maybe some of the old guard would also have arrived already. She could talk to them first, maybe. If not - she could check in with Josephine. The ever diligent ambassador had suggested taking her to a cultural event she had promised Sula would enjoy.

__

 _This palace is a maze!_   Sula thought as she walked around a corner and found herself not in the corridor to the gardens, as she had expected, but instead in the large room she was nearly certain was the place the Exalted Council would meet.

“Inquisitor. It has been too long. I hope the years have been kind to you,” a familiar voice in a pleasant Orlesian accent sounded behind her.

She turned quickly. “How have you been, Mother Giselle?” The cleric had stayed with them at Haven and then Skyhold for a long time until finally returning to her native Orlais after the election of the new Divine. She had always been a voice of reason and very good at calming the frayed nerves of many an Inquisition member in need of some guidance – spiritual or no. She did not seem to have changed much, telling Sula now of her times spent helping the victims of the civil war in Emprise de Lion.

“Divine Victoria asked me to greet you on her behalf. She is currently attending to the Fereldan ambassador's concerns.”

Sula was immediately sad about the change of topic, she would have preferred a chance to reminisce rather than having to turn her mind again to the difficulties that had brought the Inquisition again to Halamshiral. Maybe she could steer the conversation back into that direction? But Mother Giselle proved reluctant to discuss Leliana's new role as Divine. Maybe sensing her eagerness on the subject Mother Giselle said: “Many of your friends have returned as well. I hope you will get a chance to speak to them before the Exalted Council begins.”

Sula smiled. Yes, she hoped she would.

__

In the palace gardens she found she could not stop smiling. She had not expected to hear so many of her old friends would be here already. Mother Giselle had told her nearly all of them had arrived. And Dorian! He turned out to be the ambassador from Tevinter! Sula hoped he was happy. Life was still taking them new and unexpected places.

She paused for a moment and wondered who she would run into first. It would be a delight to see all of them. She had not let herself hope for this much on the journey here, she realized.

She had missed them all, of course, but she no longer could stop herself from thinking about the person she had truly been longing to see again. 

Cassandra had written to her almost regularly: short missives reporting on her search for the remaining Seekers and the many disappointments and finally the few successes this search had yielded. The determined woman seemed to have traversed all of Thedas in her diligence. It had proven fruitful finally and Sula had been happy for her friend. She had encouraged her in her endeavors to rebuild the Seekers, feeling that this was what would make Cassandra happy – that this was what her duty and her heart called her to do.

After fighting side by side with the former Right Hand of the Divine for so long it had not been easy to let her go, but Sula had felt it to be the right thing to do.

She had, however, missed the Seeker terribly. Cassandra had turned out to be the one constant that had helped her make her way through the trials and tribulations that she had been thrown into after the explosion at the Conclave. Sula had been a young elf who, though well-trained by her Dalish Keeper, was often out of her element in the world of humans. Cast into a role she felt ill-equipped to fulfill she had been terrified. She had been intimidated by the stern and angry Seeker at first, but Cassandra had watched over her, guided her, challenged her and, even though Sula did not share it, the Seeker's faith had often filled her with determination and hope. Their initial antagonism quickly had given way to respect and trust – and eventually true friendship.

There had been hiccups. Sula had not foreseen the ill-timed and agonizing crush that she developed on the other woman. At first she had not dared to say anything to the Seeker, seeing her very much still more as her superior than an equal. Later, as their rapport grew friendlier and she had felt on more even ground, she had allowed herself to say what she was thinking, complimenting Cassandra when she felt it appropriate and allowing herself to even tease her occasionally about her choice in books. Her friend had seemed to approve. Sula had treasured the occasional smiles she had won from the Seeker.

Then everything had backfired horribly. She still remembered the acute embarrassment of being caught out and confronted. She remembered Cassandra's obvious discomfort at having to broach the subject. She had noticed the flirting. It obviously made her very uncomfortable to speak about it. She could never be interested in a woman. It had hurt more than Sula had expected it to. She had not even been aware at the time how far her feelings for Cassandra had grown. It had been difficult to get over, but again Cassandra had proven true to her word. She had promised friendship and she had been a true friend. 

_And friends was good, wasn't it?_ It had been good.

__

Sula walked towards the garden's edge. She could see the beautiful countryside surrounding the palace through the gap between two of the outbuildings. Coming down the steps to the terrace she relished the view and the relative peace of the secluded area.

A small noise to her right made her turn her head. There was – _Cassandra!_ Seeing her sent a jolt of delight through Sula. Standing in a corner of the terrace her friend seemed deep in thought and did not notice Sula making her way over to her.

“Aah!” Cassandra gasped clearly startled, turning around to face her.

 _Oh no._ Sula froze. It had been too much to hope that her feelings for the Seeker might have faded over time. Cassandra was still strikingly beautiful. _Of course Cassandra was still strikingly beautiful!_ Her heart and her stomach seemed suddenly intent on switching positions and she felt light-headed. She hoped she was not openly staring at her friend and quickly made sure her mouth was closed – when she noticed that Cassandra, for lack of a better description, was in fact openly staring at _her_!

_What is going on?_

Cassandra took a few steps back and looked at the ground, seemingly composing herself. Worry flooded through Sula.

“Is everything alright?” she asked, trying to sound friendly and casual.

Cassandra blinked at her. “Yes, well. I... wanted to speak with you. And now you're here.”

Sula took a step towards her friend. “This seems serious.” It was certainly not how she had pictured their reunion, but if there was some trouble she could help with?

“It's not about me. It's about you.” Cassandra seemed to slink away from her, sounding uncertain.

_What have I done?_

“Maybe you should sit.” Cassandra continued, her voice wavering.

Sula felt uneasy and confused. “I can stand.”

“Maybe I should sit.” Cassandra said and proceeded towards the stairs.

 _What is happening?_ Sula was left standing alone for a moment before thinking better of it and deciding to just go with what the situation demanded. Damned if she could figure it out. She sat down on the steps next to her friend, who was staring off into the middle distance.

After a few beats Cassandra seemed to have found new confidence. “Inquisitor, I want you to know that I am your friend.” she began. “I will always be your friend.”

“Oh. Well, that's...” Sula searched for words, wanting to reassure Cassandra by expressing a similar sentiment.

“So I hope to give you sound advice on this momentous day.” Cassandra continued, her voice taking on a somewhat forced happy tone.

Sula felt she was staring again. _What are you on about?_

“Do what is in your heart my friend. No matter what anyone might tell you.” Cassandra finished and smiled at her, waiting for her to respond.

Now Sula felt completely lost. _What is in my heart?!_ What kind of talk was she getting here?

“That's... a lovely sentiment, Cassandra.” she finally said, wondering still what her friend could be talking about. Unless she was just – being friendly? Cassandra could be slightly awkward sometimes trying to express herself when feelings were involved, for all her professional confidence and strength she was sometimes disarmingly unsure when it came to that subject. Still, that seemed unlikely. They had often talked as friends and there had never been this kind of – _what even was it?_ The only time she had seen her friend this flustered had been when she discovered her love of Varric's smutty novels – and also when... when she had broken her heart. _What was in her heart. Was this...?_ Her pulse quickened.

“Marriage is much more than a lovely sentiment, Inquisitor.” Cassandra turned, her brow furrowed.

“Marriage?” Sula felt like something had lodged in her throat rather suddenly and forcefully.

“I can't imagine who it is. Maker knows you've kept it secret. But if marriage is...” Cassandra started to trail off, stopped no doubt by whatever expression Sula was wearing right now. Her head was swimming and her blood seemed to be suddenly all in her ears, whooshing and making it difficult to hear the Seeker. She inclined her head forward and closed her eyes, willing things to go back to normal.

“You're not proposing. To anyone.” Cassandra surmised after what seemed like entirely too long a pause and got up from where she had been sitting. “I am going to kill Varric. Why do I believe everything he says?” she sounded positively murderous now.

 _Give me strength._ Sula sent a silent prayer to whatever god would hear her. _I am not sure I can get up from these stairs. I am not sure I can stand. I am such a fool._

“He said I was going to propose?” Sula was not sure the words had been audible. What was Varric playing at? Had it been simply an attempt to fluster the Seeker? She cursed the dwarf silently but reminded herself that he could not have known what this might do to her. She felt tears well up in her eyes. _Damn it all. Get a hold of yourself, Sula Lavellan!_

She should be grateful really, the time Cassandra spent ranting about “that dwarf” was buying her some time to compose herself. If she was going to have a small break down about her unrequited love for her friend, she would have to try to get away from her first. She could not upset her by burdening her with her affections yet again. The friendship they had built was too precious. She had been a fool to even get her hopes up for a second. The her skin burned with the painful blush of mortification.

Sula took a deep breath and steadied herself on the stone steps. “So, did you mean what you said?”

Cassandra turned to her, a genuine smile on her face this time. “Being Inquisitor has brought you good things. Many good things. But only a few have been by your choice. Take what happiness you can from those and do not let them go. That is all I meant to say. Advice from a friend for the days to come.”

Sula found she could not hold back the tears any longer and wiped furiously at her eyes. “Thank you.” her voice was small and shaky. “I am touched.” she tried to force a smile, but she feared probably ended up as a grimace. “You...” she faltered.

What could she say? She felt her resolve waver and quickly beat a retreat to the nearest bench, sitting down heavily and burrowing her head in her arms. _Damn it all!_ Her strength had left her completely. The tears were flowing freely now and her chest constricted painfully.

“Inquisitor?” Cassandra had followed her and was now standing in front of her.

She could not stop herself from sobbing. She briefly debated protesting that she was fine, really, but figured that such an attempt would prove ridiculous. She hiccuped and shook her head.

“Sula?” She could feel Cassandra's breath on her brow as her friend squatted down in front of her and placed her hands on her shoulders in what was surely meant to be a comforting gesture. It did not have that effect on her.

“What has happened? _Tell_ me.”

Her friend's kindness only brought on more sighs and sobs. Sula wiped her tears into the sleeve of her dress uniform hiding her face in her arms still. “... cannot.” Was all she managed to say.

“I have upset you.” It was a statement. “There has been something weighing on you and I have not seen it. I have blundered... That foolish dwarf!”

 _Cassandra is nearly as good as I am at beating herself up over things_. Sula thought. _And at cursing Varric._ It was meant to be a laugh, but it came out as another sob.

Cassandra's hands tightened on her shoulders. “Let me help you, my friend. Please.”

Sula shook her head. What could she say? Should she even say something? This was hopeless.

A gloved hand moved from her shoulder to her face. Cassandra was gently cupping her chin to bring it up, urging her to look at her.

As Cassandra's face swam into view Sula blinked, wide-eyed at the unexpected intimacy of the touch.

“Cassandra...” she faltered.

The Seeker was looking at her intently with a worried look in her eyes.

“It is not... it is not something I can talk to you about.” _Coward!_

She immediately regretted saying it as a look of hurt flashed in her friend's eyes.

“I cannot... talk to you about it... now.” she ended haltingly.

Cassandra's hands left her and Sula let her head drop again. She heard the Seeker move and then a piece of cloth was shoved in her hand.

“For the tears.” Cassandra said by way of explanation.

Sula felt a wave of gratitude well up in her. Cassandra's blunt way of comforting people had always worked on her, she thought as she wiped her face and nose, feeling like the worst was over.

“You.” Cassandra said. “You _will_ speak to me about it... later?” It came out thickly in her Nevarran accent. 

“I will.” Sula promised instantly. Eager to reassure her friend and wanting to buy herself some time. The gods knew what she was going to tell Cassandra then.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I do want to continue this. Those crazy kids deserve a happy ending.


	2. Call Upon my Soul

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Cassandra reflects on her friendship with Lavellan and her strange behaviour in the garden at Halamshiral.
> 
>  
> 
> Sula Lavellan makes good on her promise to tell Cassandra what she could not tell her before.

As Cassandra made her way through the halls of the Winter Palace and towards the private guest rooms the senior members of the Inquisition were occupying, her mind replayed the strange conversation she had had with the Inquisitor earlier that day.

She had been looking forward to seeing her friend again after months of travel had led them both in different directions. She missed their conversations and the earnest way in which the Inquisitor had thrown herself at problems head on in spite of whatever fears she might have had. She was proud of Sula and of what she had accomplished as the leader of the Inquisition. It had often seemed miraculous. When she had met her first, a prisoner, a mage, dragged from the ruins of the Temple of Andraste, she would have never expected how the elf would soon turn out to be everything they seemed to have needed. Sula had clearly been uncomfortable in the role of the Herald of Andraste at first, not even believing in the Maker. She herself had initially met her with hostility. It must have been very difficult for Sula. She had seemed so young and vulnerable at first glance, that Cassandra had been shocked to learn the elf was only ten years her junior.

Later she had found Sula to be eager to help, eager to learn, a voracious reader, open-minded and accepting of her faith and willing to speak to her about any number of subjects. She had sometimes shown her inexperience, and it had often irritated Cassandra how Sula had favored and trusted the mages they had met. Well, the Inquisitor was a mage herself, and a Dalish elf at that. She had probably been too innocent in that regard, never having experienced much of the ways Templars and mages had fought in Thedas while she travelled with her clan in the more remote areas of the Marshes. 

Her friend had, however, also been able to make persuasive arguments for the things she believed in, often challenging Cassandra's own beliefs and making her reevaulate long-held opinions - and prejudices. They had learned much from each other.

Sula had become more serious and withdrawn after her experiences in Redcliffe, where the Tevinter magister Gareon Alexius had thrown her and Dorian Pavus into a nightmarish future. Cassandra had never spoken to Sula about what happened to her there, but Leliana, who had conferred at length with both Dorian and the Inquisitor, had told her of the threat of that future coming to pass.

In Skyhold the Inquisition found a kind of home, finally, and Sula had consented to leading the Inquisition formally. She had promised to help them stand together against Corypheus and to do what was right, and she had done so. The fate of Thedas had once again lain in the hands of a woman and Cassandra was proud to have been at her side throughout. It had been a privilege to see Sula thrive and succeed.

Deep in thought Cassandra found she had stopped her progress towards her destination at a window that allowed yet another look at the vast gardens around the palace.

This day had been off to a bad start. She ran into Varric near the grand stairs outside and the initial joy she had felt at seeing her old traveling companion and favorite author again had quickly dissipated at the realization how irritating the dwarf could sometimes be. He was viscount of Kirkwall now! _Maker, help them all!_ She found some amusement mixed in with her irritation. She had not been able to find him again after her talk with Sula in the gardens. He had probably known she would be not best pleased with the stunt he had pulled on her. Making her believe the Inquisitor was getting married! _That foolish dwarf!_ He had probably done it to fluster her, but she had now upset one of her closest friends because of it. _Idiot!_ She was not sure if that was directed at Varric or herself as her hand crashed down on the windowsill she had been leaning on. 

She shook her head. The revelation that Sula was getting married had come as a shock to her. Had they grown so far apart that her friend would not even write to her about such a momentous thing? 

True, they had never discussed matters of the heart after – well, that unfortunate time that she had spoken to Sula about her flirting on the battlements. She winced, embarrassment coming back to her with the memory. Leliana had pointed out to her that maybe the Inquisitor was interested in her and Cassandra had found that, yes, there had been incidents that could have been construed as flirting. Sula had often expressed admiration for her, come to think of it, she had even praised her interest in the passionate romances she was reading. Cassandra had been happy to receive such friendly compliments, but what if there was more to it? Leliana had seemed to think so. She had found that the thought made her afraid. She was not someone to whom romance came easily – in truth, she felt she had only experienced it before because Regalyan had been so damned kind and fate had thrown them together. It had not lasted. She had become the Right Hand of the Divine and they had eventually seen less and less of each other. 

No, romance was not something she was good at, for all her longing to experience it. She had often indulged in dreaming of the perfect romance, a man who would sweep her off her feet. It was so much easier in dreams. She scoffed. 

The Inquisitor had been a figure she found herself afraid of, she was her superior, sent by Andraste – and she was a woman, and Cassandra had never been... never expected. She had read about it, of course, but it seemed too daunting. She barely felt at ease with men when it came to matters of romance and unable to deal with so many unknowns at one time. She had come to the conclusion that this was something she must discourage the Inquisitor of pursuing – sooner rather than later. She had valued their friendship too much to risk losing it over an ill-timed and likely ill-fated experiment. 

Things had been cooler between them for a while after that, the experience had been embarrassing and awkward and she felt like the villain of the piece, having had to hurt her friend. It had been the right thing to do, however. She was certain. Her solution to the situation had proven to be the best for all involved, had it not? Their friendship had grown stronger still over the time they had spent fighting Corypheus together.

Sula had been able to overcome the slight infatuation she must have had with her. She had even seen her flirt with some of the other members of the Inquisition occasionally. Of course, nothing seemed to have come of that, the Inquisitor had remained unattached. Well, she was a very busy woman, much like herself, Cassandra mused. 

Then Varric had told her that there would be an engagement. 

Cassandra found herself pacing now. She had been happy for her friend, of course. It had still been a shock. Why had she not known? What should she say? What did one say?

She had expected to talk to Sula of her progress re-establishing the Seekers of Truth. She had expected to reminisce with the Inquisitor about their times at Skyhold. To share stories between friends, like they often had done before. To make her laugh with an unexpected wry comment and enjoy her company much like she remembered doing often during their travels together. 

Clearly that was not an option now. 

She had needed to find the right words for the occasion. Encouragement! Yes, she was a good friend and Sula would expect her to be happy for her. She was happy for her, wasn't she? Surely it was only the suddenness of the revelation that made her feel so ill at ease. She would find a quiet corner and put together the right words in her mind. Yes, that was the thing to do. 

So when Sula had approached her in the gardens she had been startled, which probably explained the way her head started to spin and required her to sit down, but she had also been prepared. She had worked out just the words to say to her friend. 

“Inquisitor, I want you to know that I am your friend. I will always be your friend. So I hope to give you sound advice on this momentous day. Do what is in your heart my friend. No matter what anyone might tell you.”

She was not sure what she had been expecting, but the wide-eyed confusion on her friend's face had not been it. Had she not been clear enough? Sula had eventually merely thanked her for the friendly sentiment.

“Marriage is much more than a lovely sentiment, Inquisitor.” Cassandra had found slight irritation well up in her. _Maker, why do people never take my meaning!_

The way all the color had seemed to drain from Sula's face had also been a surprise. 

“I can't imagine who it is. Maker knows you've kept it secret. But if marriage is...” Cassandra had plowed on, trying to still express what she had initially intended until realization hit her.

“You are not getting married. To anyone.” She had watched as Sula grimaced awkwardly. 

Rage had flooded through her and propelled her into a standing position.  _That dwarf! Why does he keep doing this to me!_ She had lost herself in her rant at Varric for a moment when Sula's whisper brought her back to the situation at hand. The elf seemed to have overcome the confusion Cassandra had sent her into and was getting up from the stairs to take a step towards her. 

Cassandra had been relieved to change the subject. She had taken her cue from the small smile she had found on her friend's face and she had tried to be kind, to say to her some more of the carefully prepared words she had thought out to say to her. 

She had not been expecting her words to bring out the reaction in Sula that they had. Her friend had seemed to crumble, retreating to a nearby bench and hiding her face in her hands while she seemed unable to stop the tears that were flowing down her face. Sobs had rocked her lithe body and Cassandra had stood, dumbfounded and helpless. 

She had tried to console her, to get her to explain to her what had upset her so, but Sula had been unable and unwilling to do so. The latter had hurt her a lot. 

Cassandra felt that something she said must have prompted this pain she saw consuming her friend, but she could only guess at its reasons. Had there been a lover? An unhappy love affair would most certainly have been a cause for such a reaction. Maybe there had been an engagement and it had fallen through? Maybe she was too quick to blame Varric. Maybe he had told her the truth but in the meantime... 

She would soon find out, she hoped. Sula had agreed to meet her for dinner in the guest wing of the Winter Palace. She had promised to tell her then. 

__

The room was small by Orlesian standards. Six vaulted windows overlooked a private courtyard and brought in some of the evening sun that was hitting the building. A breeze blew through an opened, beautifully decorated glass door that led out to a small balcony. The dining table held dozens of covered dishes, carafes, lavish flowers and decorations, and at one end two places were set opposite each other. 

Cassandra smiled, Orlais was much more palatable if one could enjoy it in private rooms away from all the courtiers and politics. 

The door opened and revealed Sula, dressed in a more relaxed variant of a dress uniform. Stiff-collared jacket replaced by a softer blue tunic, which complimented her fair hair and bronzed complexion. Cassandra was glad that she had also chosen to change into a similarly comfortable outfit herself.

“Oh. You are already here.” The elf seemed surprised.

“I am merely punctual.” 

“Well, yes.” A small smile appeared on Sula's lips. “Of course you are. Shall we sit?”

They moved to take their seats and Cassandra was relieved to see that her friend seemed much calmer. 

“I have to say that I am glad I had the excuse of 'previous plans' to get out of a host of dinner invitations by assorted Orlesian nobles and ambassadors.” Cassandra admitted.

Sula made a short delighted sound. “I am very glad to have been of aid. Though I have to confess I found myself in a similar situation.”

“This dinner is truly mutually beneficial then.” concluded Cassandra, amusement audible in her voice.

Sula swallowed and looked at her plate. She seemed suddenly lost in thought. 

Cassandra decided to busy herself by pouring water for both of them out of a tall glass carafe that sat on the table. 

“Thank you.” Sula smiled at her. “I am sorry about earlier.” She ventured.

Cassandra shook her head. “You have nothing to be sorry about. It was clearly I who made a mistake.” 

“No... I.” Sula faltered. “Please don't blame yourself. You could not know what you said would upset me.”

Cassandra felt the words hit her stomach. So she had truly upset her friend after all. She looked down at her hands and found she was gripping and twisting her cloth napkin tightly. Why was this making her so tense? 

“Cassandra?” Sula's voice was full of emotion. 

Cassandra exhaled. _I need to put this right._ “I do not wish to see you hurt. Nor do I want to be the one causing you such sorrow. I do mean what I said earlier. I wish you would tell me what is making you feel this pain. I truly am your friend, Sula. I could not stand it if that was no longer true, or if I had said something truly hurtful and did not even know it.” She looked at the elven woman imploringly. “If I have dragged up some fresh memories of a failed romance. If I have reminded you of a heartbreak I have been unaware of.... I wish you would tell me. I know we have not been as close in recent months, but I hope you can still trust me.” 

Sula now had gone quite wide-eyed and pale again. “You think...” 

Cassandra was not sure what had prompted her to do it, but she found herself reaching across the table and grasping Sula's hand, who jumped slightly at the touch. “Please? Tell me?” 

Sula nodded slowly. “Cassandra.” She seemed to draw some strength from saying her name, closing her eyes tightly and taking a deep breath. “I am not sure how to start.” She opened her eyes again and looked at her. “You are my friend, Cassandra, and you know that I care about you deeply.” 

Cassandra opened her mouth to reply, but Sula's hand grasping her own more tightly stopped her.

“Please let me try and get this all out?” Sula looked at her imploringly. 

Cassandra nodded and tightened her grip on the elf's hand in return.

“In fact. I care about you more than I care about anyone. Without you, I would have never found the strength to do what I did for the Inquisition. You have challenged me, reassured me, taught me, helped me, protected me and been my friend. You have given me guidance and helped me find my path, you have given me confidence to do what is right. What I know must be done. It was an honor to fight at your side. It was an honor to be your Inquisitor. It is an honor to be your friend.” She took another deep breath. “But that is not all you are to me, Cassandra. I have kept things from you for the sake of our friendship. I have kept things from you because I was afraid you would no longer be my friend if you knew.” 

Cassandra felt Sula's hand seek to withdraw from hers, but she refused to let it go. She needed her friend to know that nothing could stop her wanting to be there for her. 

“I... love you, Cassandra. I love you... I don't think I knew how much until after... until after you made it clear that you could not reciprocate my feelings. I think I was not sure what I wanted. That I wanted you. I did not think I felt this strongly until it all became real that day. And I thought I could overcome it! I did overcome it. I strive to be a good friend to you. I am sorry, I know it is hopeless and I never wanted to burden you with this again, but I am a fool and I cannot stop feeling this way.” Sula grimaced. 

“That is why. That is why I reacted as I did in the garden. I was so happy to see you again. I missed you so much. You... you are so beautiful. I could not believe I had forgotten how beautiful. And when you spoke to me I thought... I thought for a second -” Sula scoffed. “You see, this is all my fault. I have only myself to blame. Please forgive me.”

“You... love me?” Cassandra felt winded. She was at a loss. She had not expected this. She suddenly felt compelled to stare down at the plate in front of her. She noticed that there now was a silence in the room that was going on for entirely too long. She also found that she was still holding Sula's hand and released it, returning her hands to her own lap. 

“Cassandra, I am so sorry.” Sula's voice was small and watery. 

Cassandra's head was spinning. She stood shakily and made her way to the small balcony.  _She is in love with me. With me!_ She closed her eyes and breathed in deeply. She noticed that her heart seemed to be beating frantically in her chest. Her hands trembled.  _Why am I reacting like this!?_ She steadied herself on the railing.

She needed to compose herself. Sula was still stitting in there thinking Maker knows what.  
Thinking that she had fled from her. She had fled from her! She did not want to flee from her, but – _Maker!_ \- why was this affecting her in this way?

_She loves me!_

A small movement made her look up. Sula had come towards the balcony and stood at the threshold, watching her. Cassandra took in the worried and tear-stained face of her friend and felt her chest constrict. “I did not mean to...” she croaked. “I just needed to think.”

Sula nodded and moved back towards the table. “No! I...” Cassandra caught up with her in a few steps and grasped her arm, turning her towards her. Looking at Sula now she felt unable to control her emotions, which had become a mystery to her. Before she could stop herself she had drawn the smaller woman into a hug. The sudden contact made them both gasp.

_Andraste have mercy!_ She felt Sula's body heat through the thin layers of clothing separating them and it tied her stomach in knots. 

“I think. I think it would be wrong to say that I am unaffected by you.” Cassandra finally managed to say. “But I don't know if I feel the same as you do. It makes me afraid.” 

Sula's hands came up to her sides and the elf pushed her away slightly to be able to look at her face. 

“Cassandra.” The look of wonder and tenderness on her friend's face sent a shiver down her spine. 

Sula grasped her hand and brought it up to her lips, pressing a soft kiss to her wrist. 

Cassandra closed her eyes at the touch and exhaled a breath she had not been aware she was holding.  _Oh!_

“Poetry.” she whispered. 

“Sorry?” Sula looked at her quizzically. 

“Do you know any poetry? I think maybe...” she wavered.

Sula's eyes shone. 

“Make me a willow cabin at your gate,  
And call upon my soul within the house;  
Write loyal cantons of contemned love  
And sing them loud even in the dead of night;  
Halloo your name to the reverberate hills  
And make the babbling gossip of the air  
Cry out...” she paused. “Cassandra.” she whispered, pressing another kiss to her hand.

Cassandra could not believe it. She felt shaken.  _Is this really? Do I?_

She found her legs suddenly heavy and sat down on the carpet.

Sula followed her down, still holding her hand.

“Could you,” Cassandra finally asked, “...could you kiss me?”

The elf moved forward, kneeling beside her now. She brought her free hand up to Cassandra's face, stroking her cheek and turning her towards her. Sula looked at her with so much tenderness, it made her heart leap in her chest.

Very slowly the elf leaned in towards her, giving her time to reconsider, if she wished, but Cassandra was determined to know.

The soft touch of Sula's lips made her shiver. _Andraste preserve me! Yes!_

She leaned into Sula, seeking her mouth again. 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> \- I am a giant Shakespeare nerd and took that bit of poetry from "Twelfth Night", clearly.  
> \- I promised myself I would write this until I got them to kiss.  
> \- I still mean to continue this story to see what they get up to next.
> 
> Thank you, MissRachelThalberg, for beta-ing.


	3. Stops and Starts

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The dinner continues. Cassandra and Sula talk.

Sula was not prepared for how quickly Cassandra's lips returned to hers. She was not prepared for any of this. But – _oh!_ \- it was wonderful! The warmth of Cassandra's hands on her arm, the heat of her mouth. She felt delirious. She felt giddy. She felt so very nervous, but she could not let herself doubt this. Not when Cassandra had embraced her, not when she had asked to be kissed. Not when the woman she had pined for for such a long time was right there, kissing her. _So soft!_ Sula leaned into the kiss, wanting more. 

Her heart was pounding when they broke apart. Cassandra's hand had moved up her arm and come to rest on her shoulder. Sula noticed her own hands had come to rest on Cassandra's thighs. Her breath caught. She wanted desperately to touch the Seeker,  _ to find all the small patches of exposed skin and caress them, to run her fingers through the short dark hair, to undo Cassandra's braid, to...  _

“Sula.” 

She looked up to see Cassandra studying her with an intense look in her eye. 

“Before we...” the Seeker's voice was hesitant and breathy. “Before this goes any further, I would... I would like to...”

Sula felt her nervousness returning fully. She removed her hands from Cassandra's legs and steadied herself. “Anything.” she offered in a similarly shaky whisper. 

Cassandra's hand moved up to Sula's cheek to wipe away some remaining tears and stayed there while Sula felt her tremble and watched as the Seeker's mouth slowly relaxed into a small smile. 

“I would like to speak to you about this.” She was cupping Sula's face again, much like she had done in the gardens earlier that day. “I am not sure what to do. I think I would like us to continue this, but...” Her hand moved away. “There are things I want to tell you first. Things I would like to ask you.” 

Sula's head was swimming. Cassandra's caress had made her feel an unbelievable rush of tenderness.  _This is really happening_ ! She felt shaken to the core. 

“Of course,” she offered. 

Cassandra leaned forward and pressed a chaste kiss to her forehead, then steadied herself and stood. 

Sula looked up at the Seeker, who was now towering over her impressively.  _By the gods, I have never wanted someone more._

“You asked to meet for dinner, did you not?” There was a sparkle in Cassandra's eyes as she extended a hand to help her. Sula grasped it gratefully and was swiftly pulled up. “It would be a shame to let this all go to waste.” Her gaze indicated the beautifully arranged table.

A small laugh escaped Sula's lips. “I am not sure if I could even eat one bite. I am not sure where my stomach has ended up – or if it would be fair to the butterflies.” She immediately grimaced at her wit.

Cassandra thankfully seemed to indulge her humor and merely cast her a mild look of admonishment softened by the smile that was again tugging at her lips.

“Lady Lavellan?” Cassandra offered her arm in a playfully chivalrous gesture, though something in her eyes told Sula that this was not as lighthearted a gesture as it seemed. She wrapped her own arm around it, grateful to have the Seeker's strong form to cling to as they made their way back to the table they had previously abandoned.

After she had taken her seat again Sula marveled at the fact that it was possible to feel impossibly happy and yet paralyzed at the same time. She tried to reach for her glass of water, but abandoned the idea as she realized how much her hands were still trembling.

Cassandra, who was yet standing, was taking off the lids of some of the dishes – with similarly unsteady hands, Sula noted. _It will be a miracle if we make it through the evening without breaking anything._

“Ugh.” Sula felt mirth bubble up in her as she heard the familiar sound and watched Cassandra frown as she cast a disapproving look at one of the dishes. “Fluffy mackerel pudding. Of all the Ferelden dishes they had to include _that_?”

Having finished her inspection of the dishes Cassandra returned with a small plate of Orlesian pastries, which she set between Sula and herself. “With those we may be on safe ground,” she stated.

Sula started to relax a little as she watched Cassandra return to her seat. _So we will have dinner after all._ She had been feeling a little guilty for canceling her plans with Josephine and arranging for dinner with the Seeker, but she was relieved that she had listened to that inner voice that had told her that _this was important_. Orlesian opera could wait. She would make it up to Josephine.

“Shall we have the wine?” Sula found that her hands had steadied somewhat and she reached over to the carafe that held the Antivan red she had requested to be served with the meal. She wished she had taken more pains with the selection of dishes – _fluffy mackerel pudding, of all things_ – instead of merely asking for a selection of courses to be brought to the room.

She watched Cassandra nod her assent and took the glass she was given. It took a lot of composure to stay focused on the task at hand as the Seeker's fingers brushed against hers.

Sula carefully poured wine for Cassandra before returning the glass to her and filling her own.

"We had better empty the wine-cups. To-morrow, at bright dawn, the world’s business will entangle us.” She raised her glass.

Cassandra's eyebrows rose. After a moment's hesitation she brought her glass forward to meet Sula's. “Let us keep the world's business at bay until then.”

Sula smiled at her and then sipped at the wine. I was as delicious as she remembered it. She watched Cassandra close her eyes as she drank more deeply from her own glass. It hit her then. _She is as nervous as I am._

Best to be frank. _Courage._ “I am not very experienced at this.” She indicated the table, flowers and themselves. 

“Dinner?” Cassandra quipped. Surprising Sula – and seemingly herself. “I am sorry. I...” 

“Don't apologize.” Sula smirked. “It was funny.” 

Cassandra seemed to relax visibly. “I should not tease. I am... also not used to this. Go on.” 

Sula tried to read the look in Cassandra's eyes.  _Those beautiful, expressive eyes._

She had wondered about her friend's past. Cassandra had never spoken to her on matters of the heart. Had she had lovers? Had there been some hero she pined for? Had she been in a relationship? It had been impossible to ask without somehow feeling like she was intruding in an area of her friend's life that was profoundly private. The only thing she knew was that Cassandra was a romantic and valued the passion she found in novels - and that she likely had never thought about, let alone been with, a woman in that way. _Well, I am marginally more experienced there then._

“I have not been... romantically involved with anyone in a long time.” Sula explained. “When I was younger and still lived with my clan there was another girl... she was a year older than me. We learned together, we hunted together, we talked about the stories of the Dalish and also of how we would find adventure in our lives, how we would explore the world and travel to the places the heroes of legend went. We grew very close. Eventually we became lovers. It was tolerated for a short while but then – “ she flinched at the memory. “There was a young hunter that was trying to court her. I think the Keeper encouraged her to consider him more closely. I don't know what really happened, but she left me. She wouldn't speak to me anymore. I was heartbroken. I was angry. I felt so betrayed.” She sighed. “In the years after that I was happy to take on tasks that would take me away from the clan for long stretches of time. I was still trying to fulfill my duty, but... I I felt more and more like an outsider among my own people. I loved my family and you know clan Lavellan is still important to me, but I think I would have left for good even if I had not come to the Conclave. I think my Keeper sensed this and tried to help me find a way to become a mediator betweent the clan and the rest of the world. You know I was her First for a while, but I... I certainly didn't want to settle down with the them, I wanted to help them, but I also wanted my adventure and... I didn't think I could find a partner there.” Sula hesitated for a while. "Forgive me, I am rambling."

There was a moment's silence. "No, it's... thank you for telling me." Cassandra's eyes were still fixed on her. “You have only been with one woman, then?”

Sula shook her head. “I did try once... with a man. I was curious and he was kind. I found I did not dislike the.... physical aspects. It was nice to be touched, but... I could not feel for him as deeply. In fact, I have never felt this... _longing_ for a man.”

Sula saw that Cassandra seemed suddenly withdrawn, lost in her own thoughts. She tried to stay calm and focused on the task of sipping more wine.

“I have only been with one man.” Cassandra finally said. “He was a mage, like you. We adventured together when I was still young. He saved my life and stood by me when everything seemed to conspire against us. When I became the Right Hand we were able to see each other at first, but soon our duties took us away from each other for longer and longer amounts of time.” she paused. “He died at the Conclave.”

Sula felt stricken. _Why did I bring this up now?_ “I am sorry. I did not...”

“No. I wanted you to know this.” Cassandra looked at her intently, her voice low and kind. “I also wanted to ask you... some of the things you told me.”

They settled into a contemplative silence. The wine had made them both flush slightly and had probably also helped in dispelling some of the nervous energy they had been feeling, Sula thought.

They had still not eaten. Sula leaned forward and picked up one of the small pastries that were still sitting untouched between them and maneuvered it to over to her plate.

“A good idea.” Cassandra stated, helping herself to a pastry as well.

“The danger is,” Sula said with a hint of mischief, “that I don't know what they are. Maybe deep mushroom and anise?”

“Maker! I hope not!” Cassandra laughed. “Exquisite torture? Is that what Leliana said they were supposed to be?”

“Something like it. I think these are safe, however," she said and took a bite. “Apple and...” she tried to distinguish the flavor, “lavender?” She licked her lips. “Not bad.”

Cassandra tasted her own pastry. “The same, I think. It is... pleasant.”

Sula felt relieved, but seeing Cassandra wipe a stray morsel of Orlesian pastry from her mouth with her thumb and lick it off made her stare and reminded her body of the utter attraction and raw longing she felt for this woman.

Cassandra noticed that she was watching and blushed a darker shade of pink. She paused and brought her hand down on the edge of the table, still holding the remaining piece of pastry. Her gaze briefly lowered, but when she looked up again there was something in her eyes that made Sula's heart flutter.

She watched incredulous as Cassandra's hand moved towards her over the table, holding the last bite of the pastry out to her. _I can't, surely?_

Yet she leaned forward, carefully rising up to meet the proffered treat.

Now Cassandra's fingers were brushing her lips and Sula's eyes fluttered shut, she was unable suddenly to concentrate on anything but the sweet taste in her mouth and the equally sweet pangs of pleasure that the touch brought.

She carefully moved her tongue to catch a drop of the filling that hung to her lips, catching the tip of Cassandra's finger as well. _Oh!_

Sula heard the Seeker's breath hitch and felt her hand withdraw and opened her eyes.

Cassandra was a wide-eyed vision before her. _I love you so much. You don't know what you do to me._

“I can't believe...” Cassandra shook her head slowly. “I did not expect...”

Sula reached out and offered her hand and Cassandra took it gratefully. “Are you alright?”

“I am... overwhelmed.” Cassandra admitted. “I think I will need some time to understand this.” She swallowed. “I do not want to rush into this, Sula. I think it would hurt us both if we did.”

Sula felt the old fear returning. “I will follow your pace. Just tell me what you want. We can take this as quick or as slow as you like.” _Anything, as long as you stay._

Cassandra smiled. “Slow, I think.” Her thumb traced circles on Sula's hand. “Though it might prove difficult.”

They sat like that for a while, unwilling to draw away, cherishing this closeness. Sula knew, however, that that the evening might have to end there. She did not want to put pressure on her friend to stay longer than she felt comfortable with.

“Will you have dinner with me again tomorrow?”

Cassandra scoffed and looked at her with mock desperation. “We will go to bed hungry for a second night then. I feel food is beyond me in this state.”

“I am willing to take that risk if you are.” Sula beamed at the Seeker.

“Oh, I am.”

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> When I first started writing this a week ago I did not think I would find myself a week later agonizing over the finer workings of a dinner turned date. I had a plan! This was not exactly it.
> 
> The toast is taken from _A Toast for Men Yun-Ch’ingy_ by Tu Fu translated by Florence Ayscough.


	4. Familiarities

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Cassandra needs to process things. Leliana helps.

 

Her room's windows were still dark when Cassandra woke from a fitful and short night's rest.

 _Oh Maker_ , she felt... giddy? What a ridiculous state to wake up in. Well, she had finally slept then at least.

But this... these feelings – they had allowed all sorts of unbidden thoughts to creep into her mind.

She had felt intoxicated by the evening's developments, but was she not doing a disservice to both of them to jump into this without having examined what she felt? True, romantic heroes often did so, but – she huffed – she was definitely not one of those.

It had felt right to reach out to Sula. She had found herself transfixed. She had been moved. She found that - yes - she cared for her more than she had previously been aware of. To look at Sula in this new light had been strange but... _beautiful_.

It had, however, also left her with an uncomfortable sense of a rawness of the heart she had not felt in a long time. She was unsettled. She felt restless.

 _Why?_ She was not unsettled by her physical response to the touches they had shared or the kiss, which had been soft and tender and – different than kissing Galyan – but it had been a good kiss, it had felt right, she had enjoyed it, but then - then her heart had leaped and she had... she had felt interrupted. Somehow reminded of what might be at stake. Too much.

This was ridiculous. Sula loved her, wanted her, she had made that clear – and she herself was... interested? Amenable? Infatuated? Was what she felt _enough_? Was it more? _What do you want?!_

_Oh, Maker, give me clarity! Show me what I should do. You have blessed me with a clear eye for what must be done, why do I hesitate?_

 

__

At first light Cassandra made her way to a quiet corner of one of the elaborate gardens that bordered on the palace. It was quiet there. The air was fresh and crisp and made her feel more clear-headed already. She dropped the bag she had been carrying and her practice sword and shield to the ground and ran herself through some simple stretches. 

She had picked this particular place for three reasons: firstly, at its entrance stood a small and uncharacteristically humble - by Orlesian standards - statue of Andraste, which she sometimes used as a place to make her devotions, secondly, it was somewhat secluded and plainer than the other gardens and therefore less frequented and thirdly, the place was enclosed by a small wood, which would provide her not only with an extra barrier against unwanted intrusions, but also with an obliging tree to hit, should her drills leave her with remnants of frustration that might need an outlet.

Sometime later, just as her first punch collided with the bark of the tree she had deemed suitable for the exercise, she heard a soft peal of laughter behind her.

“I am certain the trees are quite blameless, Cassandra.“

Startled she spun around. “Le... Your Per-“

The former spymaster stepped out of the shadows and walked towards Cassandra, her eyes sparkling as she removed the hood of the simple dark cloak she was wearing. Leliana's face was all mirth and mischief. It had been a while since Cassandra had seen her in private - had seen her let down her guard. 

"Really, Cassandra. Do me the courtesy of calling me Victoria at least. We may even fall into old familiarities, if you can bring yourself to be so gauche,“ the Divine chuckled. "I am sure the trees will not object. They are most patient – as you have no doubt concluded yourself. Or if they are not – they are less likely to object to a breach in etiquette than to bodily assault.“ Leliana was clearly enjoying this. 

Cassandra gave an exasperated laugh. “You mock me.“

Some of the merriment faded from her former colleague's eyes, yet her tone was still teasing. “Yes, Cassandra, I do. You are one of my oldest friends. My changed role should not affect you as it evidently does.“

“I was not...“ Cassandra shock her heard in exasperation. “You know it it has not. Not as much as you seem to accuse me it has.“

“It has not? The change of color in your face when I appeared was quite... dramatic.“ Leliana's voice dropped to a conspiratorial whisper.

“Ugh. That had nothing to do with... I was... _surprised_ that is all.” Had Leliana appeared only to tease her?

But, even as Cassandra sought better words to defend herself, Leliana stepped to her side and put her hand on her arm in a gesture of mollification. “As was I, Cassandra. I was not expecting to find you in my wilderness this morning attacking poor, innocent trees.”

Cassandra gave a weary smile in return.

Leliana let go of her arm and took her gauntleted hand carefully instead. “You do not seek to convince me of their guilt in whatever crimes I am sure you have found them committing?”

Cassandra shook her head. “I fear I am not a good sparring partner for your wit this morning... Leliana.”

“Leliana?” The bard's eyes widened in surprise. “Oh, this must be serious then.”

Cassandra sighed and extracted herself from Leliana's grasp and then walked over to the bag she had brought with her that morning. She removed her gauntlets and reached for a cloth and gourd of water, trying to clear her head.

When she turned back to her friend, Leliana was still watching her with a curious expression.

“I may have need of... advice... from... a friend,” Cassandra began.

“Cassandra-”

“Are you... were you... You know of Sula's feelings for me?" She had not intended to reveal so much so soon.

“She loves you.”

Cassandra gaped, thunderstruck. “You knew.”

“Of course I did, Cassandra.” Leliana's voice was a whisper now.

“Of course you did.” _Of course._

They stood in silence for a few moments.

Cassandra fidgeted, unsure how to express her fears. “When you and the Warden.... When you started to... was it not difficult?

Leliana's eyes narrowed. “Oh, it was very simple, Cassandra. The nights in Ferelden were very cold and they are much nicer when shared together.”

A sore spot, Cassandra knew, and yet... “Ugh. That is not what I meant.”

“What _do_ you mean?” It was Leliana now that sounded exasperated.

“Knowing that... Knowing the _danger_. They were precarious times. Knowing that she was a Warden. That she might die. Being a Grey Warden that she would hear-”

“That she would hear the Calling?” Leliana's eyes hardened. “She did, Cassandra. When Corypheus used the false Calling – and even before that - I did not see my love for years.”

“I apologize. I did not mean to-” Cassandra swallowed hard and then sighed. "I am sorry. I did not mean to hurt... I fear I am not making myself clear.”

“No, you are not.” Leliana crossed her arms.

“Yesterday Sula confessed her feelings to me.”

Leliana's expression was curious. “I thought she had done so before?”

"Yes. No. This was... different. I am quite certain now that she does... love... me. Still loves me. Has loved me all this time.” Cassandra struggled to find the words to say, but she could feel herself mellowing again at the thought of the previous day's events. “... we kissed.”

“Oh, Cassandra!”

“You are welcome to mock me now, but I... I did not know I wanted this until she... until we... until the moment...” she faltered. “There was poetry.”

Leliana grasped her arm in excitment, no trace of her earlier bitterness remained. “This _is_ serious!”

Cassandra nodded. “Yes, it is.”

“Oh, Cassandra! I am delighted. There are not two people I would wish this happiness to more.”

Looking at her, Cassandra knew she spoke the truth - and still there was this... anxiety. 

“How do I do this... right, Leliana? There is so much at stake and I... I am not sure where to start. I worry and I... I have not even courted a woman before – or do you think she will court me? She did organize a beautiful dinner last night, but I am not sure if that is indicative of... will she... does she expect to be courted, do you think?” she slowed to a halt and huffed. “I _ramble_. This is ridiculous. I feel ridiculous. I am not a romantic hero.”

Leliana stared at her in disbelief. “You think you do not have it in you? My dear, you are the picture of a dark, handsome knight! Many poor girl has swooned over you during our time in Orlais!”

“Surely not...”

Leliana laughed. “Cassandra! You are the hero of Orlais! A dragon slayer of the Pentaghast line! Surely even you will agree-”

“Ugh. Leliana!”

“As for the courting – you may alternate. I find both roles to be quite pleasant.” Leliana nudged her with a conspiratorial smirk.

Cassandra sighed and could not help but smile a little in return. “I am sure you are right. I am aware that I may be... that I am overthinking this.”

Leliana's face grew serious again. “Do you... return her feelings then?”

“I think I do. I care for her so much, Leliana. I do not want to hurt her – I want to do this right. I want... happiness... romance. When I think of this – of her - I feel that I may have been given a chance I did not expect or look for – but I... When I woke up this morning her smile was on my mind and I felt... _giddy_.”

Leliana nodded in understanding. “Flowers then, no?”

“Sorry?” Cassandra's eyes went wide in confusion.

“There are quite many varieties to be found lining your way back to the palace. You wanted my advice? My advice is to disregard the grounds-keeper's sensibilities and help yourself to a good many flowers, which you will present to our dear Inquisitor upon returning to the guest wing. I will make sure to send a breakfast up so you can both have a sustaining meal before making your way to the Exalted Council. You will need it. Then you talk to her. Communication is important."

“Your Perfection's advice is most sage,” Cassandra concurred. 

Leliana slapped her arm in mock reproach and gave her a glancing smile as she turned to make her way back to the Winter Palace.

Cassandra took a deep breath and gathered up her belongings. Well, then. She might turn thief – but she would make sure to reimburse the grounds-keeper in some way.

 

 

 

 


	5. Before the Storm

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sula and Cassandra finally are able to have a proper meal. There are flowers and also more feelings.

Sula, against all her expectations, had slept deeply and soundly, which she put down to the short nights on her journey to Halamshiral – and the impossibly comfortable bed she lay in. She had woken to bright sunlight streaming into the room and faint sounds of activity in the corridor outside it.

Even though, stretching, she became faintly aware again of the aches and pains of the days spent on the road, there was a languid heaviness in her limbs that made her enjoy the comfort of the mattress and soft duvet even more. Her mind still heavy with sleep she let her thoughts wander and the events of the previous day came back to her. _Cassandra..._ Sula sighed. Happiness slowly made her heart swell until she woke fully and felt a familiar restlessness settle on her again. She sighed. Right, there was also the Exalted Council waiting for her today. She rolled over with a groan, hiding her face in the pillows. _Why now?_

There was a knock at the door.

 _Who would...?_ Sula jumped out of bed and threw open her chest of clothes, rummaging for something she could quickly put on. “Just a moment!” she shouted, grabbing a simple undershirt and pulling it over her head. There were last night's dress trousers discarded by her bed – well, they would have to do.

Bare-footed she raced to the anteroom and put her ear to the door. “Who is it?”

“Divine Victoria sends her regards. And breakfast.” A a voice with a dignified timbre replied.

Sula tried to calm herself, took a deep breath and opened the door. If the elderly servant that pushed the cart of covered dishes into her room objected to her disheveled appearance, he did not let on. Sula thanked him multiple times, managed to find a suitable amount of coins to express her thanks further, finally closed the door behind him and then sighed a sigh of relief and mortification.

She turned to the cart, lifting the lid of one of the covered plates and saw that Leliana had sent her a beautiful breakfast indeed.

Ravenous, she had already almost finished a rather large and delightfully sweet breakfast pastry when there was another knock on the door. _What was it now?_ She reluctantly put down the pastry, licked her fingers clean and shouted a quick plea for patience in the direction of the knock. 

Well, she would appear less than presentable to yet another person. Making her way back over to the door she ran her fingers through her hair in an attempt to smooth out the tangles and waves and pulled at her shirt, willing it to look its best, before she faced her next visitor.

“What is...” she stopped, suddenly breathless. _Am I still dreaming?_

_Cassandra._ Cassandra bringing her flowers. Cassandra in her dress uniform, looking freshly scrubbed with still wet hair, her braid undone, draped over her shoulder. Cassandra looking at her wide-eyed and blushing, extending towards her a bouquet of wild flowers and roses with a steady hand. A vision.

“Oh.” A startled gasp escaped her. She carefully took the proffered flowers and inhaled their fresh and sharp perfume. The surge of delight that hit her made her smile. “You are... they are... incredible... _beautiful_!” 

Cassandra relaxed and smiled back at her. “I thought you might like them.” her voice was warm and full of emotion. “I had to come see you before we have to deal with the 'world's business' again.” 

She studied Sula carefully. “Did I wake you?”

“Ah.” Sula shrugged and smirked apologetically as she stepped back to allow Cassandra to come inside. “No, but my previous visitor did.” she indicated the abandoned breakfast cart. “Leliana sent me breakfast.”

Cassandra closed the gilded doors behind her. “Ah, yes. She said she would.”

The flowers were truly wonderful. Just the right amount of hot-house flowers, a few lavishly colored roses, at its center and pretty wild-flowers and herbs around them. “Where did you find them?” Sula carefully placed them in one of the big empty vases decorating the ledge of the fireplace. She marveled at the gesture still. It was incredibly thoughtful and romantic - just like Cassandra, she thought. _I love you_. 

The smile tugging at the Seeker's lips was at odds with the guilty expression that ghosted over her face.

“Have you eaten?” Sula returned and uncovered the rest of the dishes and found that there definitely was enough food for at least two people. “Leliana seems to have foreseen that there would be more than one mouth to feed -” she caught Cassandra's eye, “or she just thinks I have a truly remarkable appetite.”

Cassandra laughed and took some bread, butter and jam from the cart, then sat down cross-legged on the rug in front of a rather lavish divan that stood near the room's ornate fireplace. “You should not underestimate Leliana's powers of... premonition.”

“Ah, I see. The secret is out already then?” Sula followed her after having grabbed a bowl of fruit, two cups and a pot of tea.

“Leliana is aware of it.” Cassandra stated. “But I think it is safe to say that we do not have to worry about her revealing anything we do not wish to be known.”

Sula poured the tea and then sat down next to Cassandra, letting her leg rest against her.

They sat in comfortable silence for a while, lost in their own thoughts, simply enjoying being close and taking the chance of having a large breakfast before what promised to be a trying day.

When they had finished eating Cassandra reached out to take her hand, pulling her a little closer. After a while she lifted up their hands and released her grasp, turning to Sula and indicating her left hand with a nod of her head.

“Does it hurt?”

A familiar question. Sula sighed, reluctant to answer. The mark, the anchor... it had become a part of her. It was difficult now to imagine herself without it. “I... there has always been pain when it flares up – or when I use it.” she swallowed. “It has become more permanent now. Not... pain, exactly – not sharp - but a deep ache that never quite goes away.”

“Sula, I...” Cassandra's face was full of worry.

“Don't. You don't have to... I am used to it.” _She was_ , she told herself again. Besides, it was necessary. She should not wish it gone. She needed it to protect them all. She was _responsible_.

“You have to let someone help you. Healers and mages could...”

“They have. They do.” Sula tried to steel herself, to channel the persona of the Inquisitor. “I have to carry this burden. You know, you know better than anyone, this... accident... has also been a blessing. I was able to help. Not just help - but to lead the Inquisition to victory against Corypheus... saved the world.” Sula tried to look smug in an attempt to steer the conversation back to some comfortable levels of levity – and failed miserably, judging by the way the Seeker was looking at her now.

Cassandra took up Sula's left hand and bent her head to it, studying it and tracing the faint glowing lines of the mark in Sula's palm with her eyes. “It seems calm now.”

“It is. Please do not worry too much. You're an optimist, aren't you? We will find a way...” she trailed off as Cassandra brought her finger to the mark and ran it gently over it.

“I used to be afraid of it. Maybe I still am... a little. Ancient elven magic, its power seemingly limitless... I think I liked it better when I still could believe it to be Andraste's mark.” Cassandra shot her a small apologetic smile.

“Don't.” Sula felt her defenses spring into place. _Not this again..._

Cassandra's mortified expression mollified her slightly.

“I am sorry. I did not mean to... Is it easier for you knowing that it came from your own people? Your own gods, maybe?”

“I have never questioned my faith as much as you have yours, Cassandra. Nor has it given me the same strength. 'Faith' is not a thing the elven gods value highly. They gave us stories, guidance, rules to live by, some demand obedience... that much is similar.” Sula sighed. “No, it has not made the mark easier to bear. I thought at first that it might, but what it has meant for my life – I don't think that has changed. Though,” she tried to catch Cassandra's eye again, “I am quite glad to be rid of the title of 'Herald'.”

“Understood.” Cassandra exhaled and relaxed slightly.

“Benediction, curse or accident – it does not change its usefulness.” Sula bit her lip. “Or lessen the ache.”

“Forgive me. I may still fear it, but I have not feared _you_ for a long time.” Cassandra bent down and pressed a careful kiss to Sula's palm.

Sula flushed, overcome with feelings of tenderness.

“I want to stay by your side no matter what happens.” Cassandra spoke earnestly and held her gaze.

Sula was reminded of the many instances in which the Seeker's direct manner and earnest words had given her comfort and steeled her resolve. “Thank you. You... I trust you...” she tried to come up with a meaningful reply, but found herself unable to put her feelings into words.

Instead she moved closer to Cassandra, who took her in her arms.

Being held was wonderful. Sula relaxed into the embrace, strong arms holding her tightly but gently. Eventually Cassandra drew away slightly and pressed a soft kiss to Sula's temple.

“We have to go.” she stated, regret in her voice. “Leliana may wish us well, but she will feel less inclined to do so if we make her wait with the full Council present.”

“Mhm...” Sula sighed. Cassandra was right, obviously. She was not looking forward to what was sure to be a long and trying day of political machinations and strategic compromises. She owed it to the Inquisition to give this her full attention, difficult as it might prove. At least when it was done she might be able to spend the evening with Cassandra.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There is only so much "not being able to eat because you have too many feelings" a person can stand and these two deserved to simply finish their breakfast before they take on the Exalted Council - and then some.


	6. For I Walk Where You Would Bid Me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Never a dull moment when the Inquisition gets together. 
> 
> Sula is faced with the Exalted Council and a dead Qunari. Cassandra is faced with more feelings.

As if divining her deeply rooted fears, the day had brought them to life.

The tension was palpable when they entered the Council's meeting chamber. It was the most crowded Cassandra had seen it in a long time. She stepped to the side, allowing Sula to make her way to the front of the chamber to join Josephine, watching the eyes of the crowd follow the Inquisitor.

Cassandra herself quickly found her place to the side of the hall and begun to scan the room for anything that might appear out of the ordinary, willing everyone in attendance to keep their temper under control. Willing everything to go over quickly and smoothly.

She was not certain how Sula would react to the Council's allegations – the talk in Halamshiral had been rife with rumors and falsehoods and some of the leading delegates themselves had been the worst offenders in this regard – but she trusted the Inquisitor to keep a calmer head than she would were she in her place.

But the Council had barely begun its session when it had been interrupted. An Inquisition scout had appeared. Walked straight up to Sula, even as she was addressing the Council. Sula had conferred with her for barely a few seconds and then had excused herself, leaving the mollification of the outraged Council to Josephine.

She tried to make her way out of the chamber immediately, trying to catch up with Sula, but was waylaid by a gaggle of effusively inquisitive Chantry mothers who apparently thought that the scout's message had somehow made its way to her already. It took all her self-control not to take the most efficient route out of the situation, however tempting a solution it was to bodily shove the clerics out of her path – or worse.

When she finally cleared the chamber the scout and the Inquisitor were long gone. Cassandra could feel a small flame of panic light in her chest.  _What if Sula was in danger?_ She must find out what was going on. She instinctively began a jog down the corridor when she remembered she had no idea where Sula had been headed. _Where had she been called to?_ Anger quenched the panic in her heart. _How dare the scout not stay to inform her?_ It was wholly irresponsible behavior. She would have a word with...

“Seeker Pentaghast.” A girl she recognized as one of Leliana's palace aides had materialized behind her. “Most Holy would like to speak with you immediately. You are to follow me.”

Cassandra did so, threading through the throng of Council attendees that were just beginning to fill the corridor as they left the chamber. Thankfully the girl set a quick pace, almost running herself, so Cassandra found it easy to brush past curious faces and focus on following her to wherever Leliana wanted to meet her. Cassandra hoped this would also explain where Sula had hurried off to.

In the gardens, a small crowd had gathered outside one of the palace outbuildings. Palace guards were keeping them at a distance, effectively sealing off the place. As she approached them, however, they stepped aside to let her through.

“I think the Exalted Council may be more exciting than we expected.” she heard Leliana say as she stepped inside the building.

“Ugh. What do you...” the anger directed at her old friend flared up quickly but died as soon as her eyes got more accustomed to the dimmed light in the building and she saw not only that Sula was indeed there as well, but also what it was that the Divine and the Inquisitor had been examining.

A bloodied corpse sat collapsed against the back wall. A bloodied Qunari corpse. A warrior in full armor – armed to the teeth. A small pool of blood had formed around him. The metallic tang of it hit her nostrils.

“He died here. He died recently. Did your guards-”

“No.” Leliana's face was unreadable. She had seemed amused a moment ago. Now Cassandra was not so sure. “Charter saw him crashing through the gardens. She followed him into this place, but he was down already. Whatever did this to him, I do not know. He arrived here already wounded.”

“Arrived here wounded?” Cassandra tried to catch Sula's eye, but she was focused on the corpse, her eyes scanning the body as if to memorize every small detail about it.

“Most of his wounds were made by magic, but some by a blade – did not stand a chance. He left a pretty trail. Charter has reported back to me that it leads to a room within the Winter Palace. It will be easy for you to follow – but I am afraid you will not like where it leads.”

“Leliana, just tell me. This is not the time to be-” Cassandra's anger at her old friend's ill-timed cryptic answer left her with a searing feeling that sent pinpricks down her neck.

“He has come through an eluvian.” Sula's voice was almost inaudible. “Charter has not been able to investigate further than that. That will be up to us.”

“An eluvian?” Cassandra felt dumbfounded, parroting Sula's words. “He is a Qunari warrior that... has come from the Fade?”

“This may just be a strange coincidence,” the spymaster's eyes were wide with excitement she seemed unable to hide, “but we should not rule out the fact that we may be under attack. I would urge you to find out without delay.”

“How soon can you be ready?” Sula still sounded shaken, but her face was determined as she turned towards Cassandra.

“Everything is in my quarters.”

“I will send for Cole and Vivienne.”

Cassandra nodded and hesitated only briefly, watching Sula once again slip into the role of Inquisitor so gracefully and calmly before she left. Heard her confer briefly with Charter, send for potions, send for equipment – and then turn to get ready herself. A sinking feeling settled deep within her gut as she headed back towards the palace.

 

__

_Maker, why do you do this to us? The Fade... I have served you dutifully. You have my devotion. I want to do you work, but I also want... please protect us. As we prepare to walk in the Fade. As you have protected us before. You have my trust. You have my trust. I trust...._

_O Maker, hear my cry:  
Guide me through the blackest nights._

Cassandra tried to keep her thoughts to stay on the familiar words of the chant. Willing herself to focus. Speaking the prayer as she methodically fastened her armor.

_O Creator, see me kneel:  
For I walk only where You would bid me._

She felt ill-prepared and afraid. It had been too long since she felt this immediate threat to the Inquisition... to the Inquisitor... to Sula. Why was she so overly shaken and anxious? What did this ill feeling portend?

 _My Maker, know my heart:_  
_Take from me a life of sorrow.  
Lift me from a world of pain._

_Protect us. Protect her. Protect her. Protect her._

_For You are the fire at the heart of the world,  
And comfort is only Yours to give. _

She was ready now. Her armor in place. Her sword at her side. Her shield at her back. The familiar weight of it all brought with it a strange calmness. A sigh of relief escaped her. This would be alright. She would keep Sula safe. Sula would persevere – as she had done before. Cassandra's trust belonged to her.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Cassandra's prayer features verses from Transfigurations 12, as found on the Dragon Age wiki. (Bless its existence tenfold.)
> 
> Following the plot of Trespasser a bit more closely again.


	7. Revelations

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sula and her companions spend a busy and exhausting day in pursuit of the Qunari interloper - finding some mysterious ancient messages in the process. 
> 
> Cassandra has an idea how to help Sula recover from the day's trials.
> 
> Not sure if this warrants an "M" yet, but just to be safe...

_This was... the Crossroads. They had just stepped into the Crossroads._

Only... it was different than the place she had visited years ago with Morrigan. That place had been calm, misty, muted, cold and serene. This place was... bright and humming with magic - and so very vast and open.

There were trees with smatterings of autumnal-looking leaves on them. Huge islands of rock seemed to be floating in a sky of moving, changing colors – like a kaleidoscope of crystal glass. Shifting, then swirling like... oil, shimmering slick on water. It was different and yet – the feeling of timelessness was the same, the feeling of having stepped outside of time – and of course she could see a number of eluvians scattered around everywhere.

“Colors in your mind. Mixing, moving – making you see.” Cole had come to stand beside her. "This goes everywhere. Even places that aren't anymore."

“Beautiful, isn't it?” Sula turned to him with a small smile.

“Because you see it.”

Cole remained somewhat of an enigma to her, but he had proven himself a trustworthy friend and Sula prized his insightful comments on their adventures together. _Well, insightful once you had puzzled them out._

“What are you talking about?” Vivienne cast her a confused look. “This place is gray and murky.”

“I wonder if it somehow looks different to elves.” Sula let her eyes wander. _What did this mean?_

There were floating islands in every direction as far ahead of them as they could see.

A trail of blood was clearly visible on the ground, leading them on from where they had stepped into this place.

__

The pursuit of the Qunari interlopers, which they soon saw making their escape over a distant rocky slope in the Crossroads, was swift and harried. Sula found she trusted the ancient elven magic at work almost without question. She quickly figured out how to use the strange mechanisms that allowed one to raise bridges and stairs between the islands, and found new paths for them to walk on - almost as if she had been doing it all her life. It was possible, she thought, that their haste and the adrenaline brought on by the chase helped in that.

There was simply no time to reflect, at first – on this or on the way the mark seemed to always tug her in the right direction. _Should I be worried?_ Best not to dwell on that thought now – store it away for later inspection.

__

When they stumbled out of the Crossroads and found themselves in vast and ancient elven ruins, protected by mountains and miles and miles of stripweed, it seemed like they had come to the edge of the world. Everyone in the party stopped in wonder. They cautiously took their first steps, looking around the structure, Cassandra tense and alert beside her.

As always when they came across remnants of the temples the ancient elves had left behind, Sula felt equally a sense of alienation and belonging. When they warred within her, neither won out and the sensation left her confused and ill at ease.

However, as she gave into her wonder at the impressive structures, her love of exploring, and the thrill of the chase, she started feeling more steady and inquisitive again. How had the Qunari of all people put together the network of active eluvians?

In the distance there were constant signs of fighting going on just out of sight, sounds could be heard and clouds of smoke were visible coming from the towers across the small valley, which puzzled them further.

When they themselves happened upon a group of spirit guardians, who attacked them as they made their way further up one of the time-worn towers, Sula began to put together some of the pieces experimentally in her head. _Were the Qunari trying to take over this place from these guardians? Trying to set up a defensible base from which to attack Orlais through the network of eluvians?_

They found Qunari corpses scattered throughout the place and notes in Qunlat and common that only served to further the riddle of what exactly was going on. Even more worrying were the clusters of Qunari warriors that some magic had turned to stone. They found no explanation for the latter, but the corpses bore fresh, visible knife marks and some of their faces had terrified expressions. _Who or what is at work here?_

__

Eventually they reached an immense door, guarded by magic which pulsed with energy sympathetic to the mark. When she stepped close to it, Sula's mind flooded with images sounds and a message she could not have said if she had heard or read.

__

"That was like veilfire. It claimed that this was a refuge for elven slaves. That this whole valley was a sanctuary created by Fen'Harel.”

__

_No, this didn't make sense._ “In Dalish legend, he is the god of misfortune.”

__

"The guardian spirits stayed. Not bound but biding. Because he asked. He knows how to speak so spirits listen."

__

“Cole.” Vivienne's tone had an edge to it-: even though she had grown more accustomed to Cole's presence, she frequently had no patience for his way of communicating. “Inquisitor, would it not be wise to go back now and put this information in the hands of someone knowledgeable. This is not simply a matter of pursuing the path of a single agent through a magic mirror. At least send for more Inquisition agents to aide us.”

__

“We will, but-” Sula was still studying the door, which seemed to beckon her. At her touch there was a burst of energy and the door swung open. “- first I need to know what this means.”

__

__

__

Inside the elven tower it was pitch black. Vivienne conjured a small light to illuminate their path, but it barely kept up with them as they descended the stairs into the belly of the structure.

__

Vivienne and Cassandra were watchful behind her and Cole seemed withdrawn, listening to things the rest of them were unable to make out .

__

Soon they found another door of similar make to the first - and when Sula came close to it there was the same intense sensation of a message being passed on.

__

"This says Fen'Harel helped former slaves as a mortal. Not a god." _It made no sense_. “Why would the dread wolf help the slaves? Why a mortal?”

__

Her companions had no answers for her.

__

__

__

It became even worse at the next door whose furious message felt almost scalding to Sula in its intensity.

__

"This claims the elven "gods" were just "Evanuris" - powerful but mortal mages. If that's true...”

__

_Was this true? Could it be true?_ The message was difficult to ignore. She had felt... it was... fury. Such fury at these mages who had enslaved their own people. Elves who had enslaved elves!

__

Sula shivered. For all her trying to break with the traditions of her clan, she still felt dismay settle cold and hard and deep in her gut. Did she feel this for herself or was it sympathy she felt for her parents, her Keeper, the friends of her past who had so clung to the beliefs of the Dalish and their grand past? Their gods. Their truth. Their powerful ancestors. Elgarnan.

__

Sula knew she had not shed her belief and trust in these gods for all the distance she had put between her and the clan. She still found herself turning to them in times of need and turmoil.

__

There was no time to reflect further right then. In the dark and musty room they found only a small statue, needed to operate a mechanism to raise a bridge they had already come to and been unable to work out. But when she reached out and was about to take it Sula had been struck by a sudden jolt of blinding pain so severe that she felt her whole body spasm and could not stop herself from crying out. She collapsed and tried to catch her breath again, while Cassandra, who had rushed to her, caught her from behind and held her steady while the tremors subsided. Sula could tell her companion was speaking to her but could not focus enough to make the words make sense.

__

“- alright? Sula?”

__

The pain left her almost as quickly as it had hit her, but a dull ache remained in her hand, where the mark had flared up, and pounded with new intensity. The anchor. The void-forsaken mark. There was nothing – nothing anchoring about it, she thought as she leaned into Cassandra's arms, seeking that real, human anchor instead.

__

“I think I am alright. But the mark...”

__

“We see it, Inquisitor.” Vivienne remarked coolly.

__

Sula scoffed. The mark was, in fact, illuminating the whole chamber - as if someone had installed a tiny sun in her hand.

__

She let Cassandra help her stand on her own again, grateful to have the reassurance of touch. She examined the mark more closely, squinting at its intensity. The light was dying down and soon they were in dim darkness again.

__

There was a sensation that was new. Something seemed to – Sula flexed her fingers experimentally in the way she felt compelled to. The mark exploded into intense light again.

__

There were sharp gasps from Cassandra and Vivienne.

__

“Burning brightly. Brilliant bringing light and leading the way. There is less pain now.”

__

“That is true.” Sula agreed, even though the sensation was anything but pleasant. It was like the moment one came to close to a flame – or a fire. A flash of heat, a sting – and then gone again. However, the mark still pulsed. _As if it has a heartbeat and life of its own._ Sula stared at the alien thing she had almost grown used to in the last few years. 

__

__

__

The rest of the day was a blur. They raised the bridge. They fought a great number of Qunari and more spirit guardians. They uncovered more letters and writing that made a likely plot take shape.

__

But there was an unknown player: An “agent of Fen'harel". And there had been more unwelcome revelations. The vallaslin. _Was it – were they truly only slave markings?_ She traced the faint lines of it on her face. She had only taken a simple version of Mythal's vallaslin when she came of age, but she had been proud to wear it.

__

__

__

Now, back at Halamshiral and making her way back to her quarters after a long and thorough debriefing with her advisors, she felt like crying and did so. It was difficult to stop, but she no longer cared. She was too exhausted, to shaken up, too... hurting from exertion she was no longer used to in this intensity – and then there was the mark. Since she had left the ruins it looked unremarkable again. A faint line of green – but she saw it pulse and she felt it, too. It was unnerving.

__

Cassandra refused to leave her for the meeting with Leliana, Cullen and Josephine at first, but Sula had put on her bravest face, insisting she was fine, really, and sent her away. Suddenly, it had become more difficult to hold herself together with Cassandra present.

__

Thankfully it was late at night now and the corridors of the palace were deserted. Only the occasional guard stood at attention as she passed.

__

She sneezed into a shawl that was beyond redemption anyway and wiped away her tears. _Best to get it all out now before seeking out Cassandra._ She so longed for the comfort of Cassandra's strength and felt her heart give a start when she remembered the way she had felt embracing her. She exhaled deeply. Even the thought of Cassandra seemed to give her some reassurance.

__

She would go to her rooms, shed the remains of her armor and ruined clothes, freshen up and go to her. She would -

__

But there was light under the door of her quarters.

__

Sula opened the door carefully and stepped into the small anteroom. “Hello? Who's there?”

__

The air seemed strangely humid.

__

There was the sound of someone getting up hurriedly and something heavy being dropped in the next room.

__

“Sula, is that you?” Cassandra's familiar voice sounded startled and rough.

__

Sula stepped through the small archway into her quarters and was hit by a wave of warm air.

__

“I must have-” Cassandra gestured at a book that had tumbled face-down on the floor and quickly squatted down to pick it up. “I was waiting.”

__

The fire in her quarters had been lit and there were two covered enameled bathtubs positioned close to it. In the corner of the fireplace a grate had been cleverly installed on which a large copper container container held hot water for topping up the baths.

__

Sula blinked.

__

“I thought it might be a good idea to ask for a bath to be prepared for you when you returned.” Cassandra ventured. “I think the servant I asked assumed I wanted one, too.”

__

Sula cast her a quizzical look. Cassandra had changed out of her armor and boots into a simple shirt, leather trousers and slippers and looked like she had put the hours Sula had spent informing the Inquisition's advisors of all they had encountered to good use.

__

“I was still in my armor when I asked them.” Cassandra added, interpreting Sula's look correctly. “Anyway, I am not complaining.”

__

“I just wasn't expecting...” Sula started and thought better of what she was going to say. She felt touched by her friend's thoughtfulness. “This is a very good idea, actually.”

__

“I thought so.” Cassandra stepped towards her and took her hand. “Come. You must be feeling worse than I – and I have not felt my body ache this way for quite some time.”

__

Sula let herself be led towards the baths, where Cassandra helped her take off the remains of her armor. When she was just in her undergarments and breast band she stopped. She could feel Cassandra hesitate as well.

__

“If you want me to leave... if this is a bad time... if you want to be alone-” Cassandra tried to catch her eye.

__

Ah, this was ridiculous. They had seen each other naked before, washing off the remnants of battles while on the road, but Sula had always been careful not to stare, _but..._ Cassandra had also always attacked the task of washing with the efficient determination with which she set to most tasks, so these situations had never lasted long.

__

Sula knew of her friend's enjoyment of baths, however – it had come up in conversation in Skyhold. Some nights, especially after the Seeker's return from a long mission, the runners and armorers joked they were forbidden to enter the armory on pain of death.

__

“No. Definitely stay. I... I don't think I want to be alone. I don't want to...” Sula reached out to give Cassandra's arm a reassuring squeeze. “I want you to be here... very much.”

__

Cassandra uncovered the tubs, which released small threads of steam and seemed to still be quite warm, and went to get the copper container to add more hot water to them.

__

Sula sat down next to one and watched Cassandra lift the heavy container with ease, marveling once again at the graceful strength her friend possessed.

__

“I wasn't sure what scents you liked, so I did not have them add any oils to them yet, but they have brought us quite a selection.” Cassandra brought over a box of flasks and tins and set it down next to Sula.

__

Smelling the different oils and salts was a happy distraction and interesting in just the right amounts - and some of the stronger concoctions made her gasp or sneeze, which seemed to amuse Cassandra, with whose help she finally selected a more subdued, herbal-scented mix, while Cassandra picked one that had familiar floral tones and more than a hint of roses.

__

When the bath was ready Sula quickly stripped off her remaining undergarments and stepped into the tub, gasping slightly as the welcoming heat stung her too-cold feet. She was sure she was blushing all over, feeling the heat of the water and Cassandra's eyes on her. The combined effect of both left her light-headed and she quickly sat down in the bath, wincing as the heat enveloped her.

__

Soon it became bearable and she settled back, closed her eyes, and felt her body relax. She let out a deep breath she had not been aware she had been holding. “This is wonderful.” She looked up at Cassandra with what she hoped was a grateful smile.

__

Cassandra smiled back at her and her heart skipped a beat. Sula watched mesmerized as Cassandra unfastened the ties of her her shirt and shrugged it off – then quickly checked herself, unsure of what to do and studied her own feet in the water.

__

“You can look, you know.” Even tinged with some amusement Cassandra's voice was kind and low.

__

_She is so beautiful._ Cassandra's skin was dark bronze and golden in the firelight. Sula watched the play of Cassandra's muscles as the warrior took off her trousers and then started to undo her breast band. There were faint lines of scars across her back and some prominent ones on her legs and arms, proof of the many battles the Seeker had fought. Sula had always been mesmerised by her friend's many scars. They were like writing on her skin, telling stories, making Cassandra's beauty even more profound to her. She was not sure if she was still breathing.  _Am I dreaming?_ It all certainly suddenly felt like a dream. _Wow._

__

Cassandra settled into her bath as well and closed her eyes, her face softening and an expression of bliss on her features.  _I want to stay in this moment. I don't want time to go on._

__

After some time spent in companionable silence, simply enjoying the warm water and the relaxation it brought and occasionally sharing a look and a smile with Cassandra, Sula set to scrubbing the dirt and grime of the day off her body methodically. Cassandra, who had washed before, remained mostly still in her tub seemingly lost in thought, occasionally shifting her position a little. 

__

After a while Sula scooted down further in her tub so she could fully immerse her head and rinse dirt and dust out of her hair. When she surfaced again and had wiped the water out of her eyes she found Cassandra looking at her.

__

Cassandra's voice seemed a little tentative, but she did not break eye-contact. “If you want to... you could come over here and I could wash your hair.” 

__

Sula found she wanted to very much. 

__

Maneuvering from one bathtub to the next was not something she managed to do very gracefully, as she moved swiftly so as not to loose her nerve, and she managed to spill rather a lot of water, sitting down a little too quickly in Cassandra's tub, which to her great relief made them both laugh. 

__

After the merriment had died down, Sula was startled to find herself drawn into a fierce hug. “What-?”

__

“I was so scared for you today.” There definitely was a catch to her friend's voice now. 

__

“Cassandra,” Sula felt overwhelmed, “I... it will be alright. We've dealt with worse, right?”

__

Cassandra snorted into her shoulder blade, but then quickly followed it up with a kiss in the same spot. 

__

Sula forgot what else she was going to say. 

__

They remained in the embrace for a little while, of which Sula tried to memorize every second, until they felt the water cooling and Cassandra set to washing Sula's hair. She gently massaged her scalp in the process, which was wonderfully intimate and supremely relaxing at the same time, making Sula forget any tension or awkwardness she might have been otherwise preoccupied with. 

__

When Cassandra had finished rinsing her hair, Sula turned around carefully and kneeled between Cassandra's legs. “Thank you.” she said and leaned forward to kiss Cassandra, who closed her eyes and responded by slowly kissing Sula back. 

__

They might have stayed like this for longer if Sula had not started shivering and Cassandra, observant and worried, had hurried her out of the tub and given her a large cloth to dry herself off with. When she was finished - and Cassandra had dried off herself - she handed her a blanket to put around her shoulders.

__

Sula yawned, feeling suddenly heavy as a stone. 

__

“You should go to bed.” Cassandra surmised, casting her a worried look. 

__

Sula agreed, but did not want Cassandra to leave. “Will you stay here tonight?” 

__

Cassandra nodded. “Go and lie down, I will watch the fire a while and clear up, so the servants will have an easier time removing the baths tomorrow. I will join you soon.” She hugged Sula briefly and pressed a kiss to her forehead in parting, then turned to busy herself with the fire. 

__

Sula went to her bed, slowly stretched out on the covers, briefly spared a thought once again to its amazing softness, and then fell into a deep and dreamless sleep. 

__

She did not wake when later Cassandra tucked her under the covers and slipped into bed beside her. 

__

 

__

 

__

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I apologize for the gratuitous bathing. I think I miss having a bathtub. I also watched a lot of Xena.


	8. Respite and Pleasure

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is a shorter one in which Cassandra and Sula get _very close_.
> 
> Ahem.

 

Cassandra woke because someone seemed to have installed a small furnace at her back. It took a few moments for her to come fully awake and remember where she was. _Sula._

She tried not to move too much as she carefully extracted herself from the bed they had been sharing. Afterwards she stood and stretched, turning back towards Sula and examining her sleeping form. _She needs to rest._ No doubt another trying day lay ahead of them. Leliana would let them know. She knew the spymaster's scouts were watching the Crossroads for any further sign of Qunari activity.

There was a robe thrown on a chair, which was too short on her, but which she put on anyway to quickly let the guard outside the door know she was up and waiting for news from the Divine, to ask him to send someone to take away last night's baths and also bring some breakfast.

Afterwards she fetched a glass of water and her book, an Orlesian romance – not terribly exciting: far too much courtly intrigue for her liking - and sat down in an armchair that was positioned in a way that allowed her to occasionally glance at the sleeping form of the Inquisitor.

After about half an hour – Cassandra had just managed to lose herself in the book as the narrative had switched to recount the heartbreak of a chevalier's amour perdu – there was a knock at the door and she hurried to answer it.

There were several servants with a sizable cart and buckets, come to take the tubs away, a runner with a message and a smaller cart which held their breakfast.

The whole business had, of course, woken Sula up. When Cassandra looked over to the bed after they were alone again, there was merely an Inquisitor-shaped lump under the covers.

“You could have warned me, you know.” said the lump.

“You needed all the sleep you could get.” Cassandra crossed the small distance between them, settled herself back on the bed and put a hand on the covers, where she suspected Sula's arm to be.

The lump sighed audibly and dissolved and then there were Sula's sun-bleached hair and her eyes, shut firmly against the bright light. “... not arguing.”

Sula's hair, longer than her own, but still considered short, was tousled and wild from going to bed with it still mostly wet. Cassandra felt she wanted to touch it very much and reached out to do so, carefully running her fingers through it. There was a small pleased sound as Sula pushed into her touch. _Almost like a cat._

And then Sula seemed to come more awake, casting back the covers slightly and sidling up to her, putting her head on her hip. _Oh._ Her heart was suddenly picking up its rhythm. She realized she had lifted her arms up, not sure where to put them – then carefully put one around Sula's shoulders, hugging her against herself. It was thrilling being so close. She felt incredibly happy and acutely aware of Sula's body so close to hers. She felt herself relax a little again and tried to concentrate on the way Sula felt against her. Sula was still naked and for some reason this became increasingly distracting. The heat seeping from the elf's body into hers seemed to grow the longer it was there. Cassandra smelled the remains of last night's floral baths on both of them and remembered her boldness and Sula's body – and the kiss. It was entirely too much.

Then Sula moved, completely awake now, and sat up beside her. Cassandra swallowed audibly and looked away for a second, trying to settle her unruly thoughts.

“Everything alright?” Sula's voice was still a little rough from sleep and the effect sent shivers down Cassandra's spine.

“Yes!” Cassandra turned to look directly at her friend. “I was just... I am...”

Sula moved to kneel beside her on the bed and put a hand on her leg, stroking the muscle above her knee. The touch made her close her eyes again briefly.

When she opened them again, Sula was watching her intently. “I... I want to...” Sula blushed and licked her lips a little hungrily. "Do you want to..."

Cassandra felt her heart beat in her throat. There was no denying that she felt that, yes, she very much wanted this, wanted Sula's touch, wanted her body close to hers, wanted to lose herself in the sensations of...

“Maker, yes!”

Sula quickly moved over her and straddled her lap. Cassandra felt a pang of desire so strong she grabbed the other woman firmly, holding her against her, seeking to intensify the feel of her, seeking to feel her close everywhere she could.

Then Sula pulled back a bit, pushing against Cassandra's hold, who was almost loath to release her, but still did so when she felt Sula's mouth on her neck, placing careful kisses beneath her ear. _Oh, Maker!_ A small jolt of lighting went through her and she made a throaty keening sound. 

Sula moaned and rolled her hips, which caused Cassandra to do the same, seeking friction, incredulous at how quickly her own body seemed to respond, pleasure building within her.

Sula's hands were at her waist now, untying the robe she was still wearing – then running her hands under it and along her stomach. “Sula!” 

This had exactly the wrong result as the elf stopped her caresses, and drew back a little. “Too quick?”

“No... no... please!” 

Sula was a little more cautious now, slowly exploring the skin of her stomach and caressing her sides, tracing the lines of her muscles – Cassandra closed her eyes, concentrating on the touch.

Oh, it was too much and not enough. She wanted... she wanted... “My breasts... touch my breasts...”

Sula's hands carefully made their way up her torso, her hands circling her breasts, caressing them slowly. “Like this?”

This was incredible, her skin was on fire. Sula's hands were careful and insistent, her thumbs brushing over her nipples occasionally, making her feel jolts of pleasure down her whole body.

Cassandra's breath felt shallow now. The world seemed far removed - all there was was Sula's touch and her own pleasure. She nodded and moaned in response and heard a small delighted laugh. She opened her eyes to find Sula's face lit up in pure delight and flushed with pleasure. It was beautiful. _She_ was beautiful.

On an impulse Cassandra seized her lover carefully and flipped them so that she came to straddle Sula. They were both breathing very heavily. Time seemed impossibly slow.

Sula's eyes were wide, watching her as if in awe. Cassandra felt a wave of tenderness hit her as she studied her lover's face. She smiled at her and bent down to kiss her very slowly and deliberately, incrementally deepening the kiss and delighting at Sula's returning it.

Then Sula's hands were on her again, running up her back and trying to rid her of the silly robe she was still half-wearing. Cassandra sat up with a laugh and swiftly rid herself of the obstructing garment. Sula gasped and studied her with an intense look in her eyes.

Cassandra set to exploring Sula's body with her eyes and hands. It was smaller than her own, softer in some places, but with sinewy-muscled shoulders and arms from wielding a heavy staff and strong, long legs, used to weeks of travel. She caressed the odd scar she found, then bent down to follow up her caresses with kisses, breathing in the scent of Sula's skin and relishing the effect of her ministrations on the other woman.

When she cupped Sula's small breasts in her hands, Sula hummed loudly with pleasure. Cassandra kissed her again and flattened herself against her body, trying not to put too much of heir weight on Sula, who seemed to disagree with this approach and firmly pulled Cassandra against herself.

They finally broke the kiss, both breathless and feeling a bit overheated. Sula nudged her slightly and Cassandra rolled her back on top of herself. It was sheer pleasure this feeling of skin on skin, feeling the weight and the heat of another body on top of hers. Sula smiled and then bent down to resume the work she had begun earlier, peppering her neck with kisses. Cassandra squirmed, suddenly ticklish, and Sula snorted and laughed into her neck, then moved down and placed deliberate kisses along her collarbones.

After the trail of kisses reached her breasts, Cassandra stopped breathing for a while. Feeling Sula's hot mouth on the sensitive skin was quickly robbing her of any coherent thought. When she felt her tongue teasingly exploring and Sula finally sucked one of her nipples into her mouth Cassandra cried out and her whole body sought purchase against her lover.

Sula moved, bringing her knee up between Cassandra's thighs and set to kissing her again, hungrily. Cassandra felt undone, deepening the kiss and moaning into Sula's mouth, grinding down on the knee at her apex, feeling her own wetness on Sula's skin and the unmistakable build of pleasure intensifying.

She reached for Sula, wanting to touch her, to caress her, to pull her closer and hold her tight all at the same time. Her right hand reached Sula's stomach, ran over it in a long stroke and then moved downwards to cup the thatch of hair she felt there, causing the other woman to berate in audibly and sharply.

Cassandra quickly sought her lover's face, silently communicating. _Is this alright?_

Sula's face was open and vulnerable. Her eyes wide with pleasure and longing. “Yes. Please touch me.” her voice was still hoarse and barely above a whisper.

Cassandra carefully slipped a finger between her lover's wet folds, keeping her eyes on Sula's face, watching her close her eyes and an intense look settling on her features while she moved to allow Cassandra better access.

Cassandra moved her hand down lower, searching for the right spot in which to touch her lover and listening to the small sounds Sula was making to guide her. She soon had moved her thumb in a way that made Sula moan and set to stroking that spot carefully. A particularly intense moan was followed by Sula grinding her knee into her forcefully and leaning forward, slotting their two bodies together even more closely. Sula was moving now, carefully riding her hand. Cassandra tried to follow her rhythm, keeping up her slow stroking and pressure on Sula's clit. She herself was squirming against her lover in a similar rhythm, seeking the build of pleasure she was still feeling from it. Sula slowly leaned forward, kissing Cassandra's breasts again, which made her see stars, but then lost focus, simply resting her head on Cassandra's chest, breathing heavily as she moved together with her lover.

“I need... your fingers...” Sula's whisper sent shivers down her spine.

Cassandra felt for her lover's entrance and slowly pushed a finger into the supple heat. Sula's cry was unmistakably one of pleasure as she brought her body lower, seeking to intensify the sensation.

The small moans and heavy breathing sent pangs of longing and pleasure to Cassandra's core. _This is incredible. You are._.. A jolt stronger than any other passed through her and she groaned at the unexpected intensity. Suddenly the world was only Sula's skin against her, her wet breath against her breast, her leg against her apex. _Oh shit._ She moaned, feeling Sula turn and suck at her breast again - and then she could not say whether it had been an instant or more as pleasure enveloped her and robbed her of all rational thought.

She came back to the feeling of Sula still breathing heavily and softly laughing into her chest. “I am sorry, I...”

“Don't be.” Sula kissed the side of her breast. “This was wonderful... _is_ wonderful.”

Her hand was at risk of being crushed between them and she tried to extract it carefully. “But did you...”

“Oh, as good as – you were very promising - but don't worry, you'll get to make it up to me.” Sula smirked at her and quickly stretched herself out on top of Cassandra, pushing her upper body up on her lower arms, then leaned forward to kiss Cassandra again. Cassandra gave her arm a playful swat. “Promising?”

Sula collapsed on her with a helpless snort.

Cassandra's heart felt as light as it hadn't had in years as she moved to hold her lover more comfortably in her arms. _Thank you._

She was not sure what the day would bring, but at least they had had this.

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My first time writing sex. Meep. 
> 
> Many thanks to MissRachelThalberg, who keeps beta-ing even when the going gets... smutty.


	9. Going Deeper

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sula gets some time to think about what has been going on - and the next eluvian takes her and her companions to the Deep Roads.

 

 

They lay together for a while longer, savoring the intimacy and reassurance of touch. It was strange but sublimely exhilarating to finally be so close. Sula listened to Cassandra's heartbeat – wild – and then slowing down again. Her own heart felt fit to burst. She felt intoxicated breathing in Cassandra's skin. It was unbelievable that she should be here – in Cassandra's arms. She was reluctant to let go. It suddenly felt like a stolen moment.

“Leliana is expecting us in an hour.” Cassandra eventually said regretfully. “I need to see the armorer before.”

“Of course. I should also make sure my second-best coat is still serviceable.” Sula grinned and lifted herself off Cassandra reluctantly. She was right, of course. It was so like her to remind them of their duties. Should she feel guilty for even having delayed them? “I am sorry, the timing of this has been-”

Cassandra sat up quickly and caught her face in her hands. “No. Don't... I don't mean-” her eyebrows drew together in frustration – then she moved in to place a quick but tender kiss on Sula's lips. It felt like an answer. “I will see you later in the Divine's chambers.”

Sula watched as Cassandra dressed, quickly grabbed some fruit and bread and readied herself to go.

“Wait!” On impulse she ran over to the Seeker and stood on tiptoes to press a kiss on her cheek. “See you later.”

Cassandra gave an amused huff, blushed and gave her a peck in return – and then turned to leave.

__

With Cassandra gone, Sula could no longer keep from worrying and turning over the revelations they had found in the ancient elven temple in her mind. In times like these she missed having someone Dalish to speak to. She missed the wisdom of Deshanna Istimaethoriel, her Keeper.

“Whether you are with them or not, being the clan of the Herald of Adraste will mark them in history.“ Josephine's words were in her thoughts again. 

Her clan certainly had been put on the map more than she would have wanted them to be. Sula remembered particularly the tense times in which she had learned of her clan's pursuit in Wycome: They had been attacked by several fractions during her time as the Inquisitor and Sula feared that the frequency of the attacks might have had something to do with her fame. She had been extremely worried for her parents and her childhood friends. She had employed Inquisition soldiers and Leliana's agents to try and keep clan Lavellan safe, but she was not sure how successful she had really been. 

They had still lost some good people, experienced displacement and been subject to slander. Slander that had been spread among the Shemlen of the Marches and made it even more dangerous for the Dalish to wander freely. More than that, it had almost incited a bloodbath in Wycome – the Shemlen had been led by hate, ready to murder every elf in the city.  _If it had come to that.._ . 

But the Inquisition's troops had been there and able to fortify the city. The elves had been saved and Keeper Istimaethoriel had been given a seat on the city council along with another elven leader from the city and several humans. So far, thankfully, it had been a success. She had tried to keep on helping her clan as much as she could. Even if she was never to fully return to them – she still felt it was her responsibility to keep them safe. _Not a First, not a Keeper, but..._

Varric, she found, had even forged trade agreements with Wycome and was keeping an eye out for clan Lavellan's interests – and Sera had made sure to alert the local Red Jennies. She was grateful for all her friends in the Inquisition had done for her – kept doing for her. They were good people. She was so lucky they were watching out for her – and her clan.

How, but how, was she to tell them about these things she was finding out now? Even if it never truly had been the case for her, and even though she knew her clan to be rather progressive, she also knew the clan's strength came from their identity as Dalish elves, from their gods, their history. They were loath to show it – but they were proud people. Sula dreaded having to notify them of all this. What would it do to them? What would they say? _If they even believe me._

If Solas had not vanished maybe he could have helped her make sense of the discoveries they had made. Not that he had cared about the Dalish. He had made that very clear. Sula had found it difficult to talk to him; for all that they should have had in common they found very little to agree upon. They had somehow always ended up stepping on each other's toes.

But Solas had cared when they had tried to do good – and he had been knowledgeable in so many things that it was difficult to get anybody else to have a viable opinion on – the mark most notably. The way Solas had reacted when the orb had been destroyed during their final battle against Corypheus... Sula was certain he must have known more about it than he ever told them. Maybe that was why he left. _But why..._

Maybe she should try contacting Morrigan. The witch had also left the Inquisition, but Leliana still seemed to be able to exchange messages with her every once in a while. Morrigan had drunk from the Vir'abelasan, the Well of Sorrows, and now possessed some understanding of the ancient elves that was beyond what anyone else could fathom. More than that, it had turned out that Morrigan was the daughter of a woman know to the Dalish as Asha'bellanar – who claimed that she was a vessel for the spirit of Mythal.

It might be true. Sula had certainly witnessed this woman using her power over Morrigan – a power apparently bestowed upon her by the fact that Morrigan had been bound to her will by drinking from the well. Sula had been glad that she had not drunk from it. At the time her respect for Mythal had stopped her from wishing to drink from the well. Being in the Temple of Mythal in the Arbor Wilds had made her feel closer to her gods than ever before at the time. She had been in awe.

Maybe Morrigan could help her try and make sense of what they had discovered. Maybe the knowledge of the guardians of the well reached far enough to encompass the time when this supposed safe haven for elven slaves was in use. Sula wrote a short missive for Leliana to try and pass on to Morrigan. _We have to try and find more – maybe we will find out more._

Now there was nothing for it but to plan for their next excursion into the network of eluvians. There would be a meeting, maybe there would be news from the scouts – and then they would head out again. She prepared messages to Vivienne and Cole, not sure if Leliana would have automatically informed them.

She had briefly considered allowing them to rest and putting together a different party, but Cole had certainly been an asset, being able to perceive messages and voices they were unable to hear – and Vivienne was observant and outspoken and the most skilled knight enchanter Sula had ever met. Vivienne and Cassandra also impressed her with their battle synergy. Of course - they had fought alongside other Seekers, templars and knight enchanters almost all their lives. Moreover, her skills proved an excellent addition to Sula's own elemental and rift magic.

__

The meeting turned out to be short and efficient. The scouts had spotted some Qunari activity earlier in the day, but things had been quiet otherwise. They had left a report on their sightings and on which eluvians had been active. Sula and her party would take it from there.

Sula noticed her companions' unease in the Crossroads. She should be feeling this herself, shouldn't she? It was a strange feeling navigating this place – it seemed to be... but the feeling evaded her, refusing to take on a concrete shape she could name.

Thankfully the eluvian the scouts had pointed out to them was not far into the place. Sula readied herself, stepped through and - “The Deep Roads?”

“I was not aware the elves had connections here.” Vivienne remarked behind her. “Though I suppose we should hardly be surprised by anything these days.”

There was a group of Qunari spear-men posted close to where they had emerged and they had to deal with them quickly before they could analyze the situation any further.

A constant echo of dull noise reached them from below as they further explored the tunnels. The place was eerie and almost completely pitch black at times. They were quiet apart from the steady rhythm of their footsteps and the beat of metal armor plates making contact.

The darkness had another unfortunate side effect, however, and Sula was not the only one aware of it.

“Once again your mark is glowing, are you alright?” Cassandra's voice was a study in carefully measured concern.

“I suppose at least I can make myself useful down here.” Sula retorted with a wry grin that probably could not be seen, and was grateful that she could not see the Seeker's face either, which she guessed would look none too happy with her attempt at humor.

At last they reached an abandoned Qunari campsite, lit by a single torch. There was a burned body half-hidden behind some rocks and clear signs and remnants of explosives being used.

“They are using explosives to mine?” Cassandra seemed stunned.

“I am not an expert but that seems really ill-advised.” Sula agreed. “How will they know if they are not destabilizing the caves? The whole mine could come down over them.”

“Judging by the noises we have been hearing and what remnants we see here, I would say this is a massive operation.” Vivienne observed. “Do not underestimate the Qunari's knowledge of explosives – or their determination.”

It was a scary thought indeed.

The dark had different shades now. Sula came to rely on her other senses more and more and might have resisted making use of the mark entirely, if they had not been set upon by a herd of deep stalkers. There seemed to be no end to them, sharp teeth nipping at them from every direction, and Sula had struck out in frustration – and the mark had exploded into a burning flame again, illuminating the impossibly high cave they were in and scattering some of the deep stalkers, killing more and giving her companions a good chance at making short work out of the rest.

When she felt Cassandra's hand come to rest on her shoulder in a gesture of comfort, Sula became aware that she must have screamed when the power of the mark tore through her. It was like – hitting your elbow in the wrong place – but stronger - a pain that shot through you with an intensity so sharp it made you see white light.

She could not let this slow them down. All she wanted to do was to give in to this brief comfort, but she could not let herself be weak now. They needed to move on.

__

They found more tunnels, caves and stone stairs and, at the bottom, unlikely as it was, loomed a familiar shape. “This is... a statue of Mythal!” Sula had been quite certain from the shadowy shape alone, but struck the anchor again to give them light and was mesmerized by what she saw.

The light also helped them to find a torn journal at the statue's base, whose author must have been an elf like herself. “It says he has been working for the Qunari. They made him come here because he knew stories of the ancient elves. Why are they here? What are they looking for?”

The journal was vague. There were only more questions. “Protector and All-Mother, why are you honored here, so far from the light of the sun? And why was the Dread Wolf at your side?” Sula read, feeling the author put into words some of her own thoughts.

They had progressed much. The sound of the dull explosions was unmistakable now. If they had been worried about what to do when they found the base of operations for the Qunari it all became much clearer when they found a human man, from Kirkwall no less, who was working for the Qunari here. Who was a convert to the Qun himself – but who had clear reservations as to what his superiors were doing now.

He also warned them that they had encountered saboteurs recently - agents of Fen'Harel. More confusingly, he told them the Qunari believed these agents of Fen'Harel to be an accessory to the Inquisition. A likely connection for a man such as him to make - she was Dalish, and thus... at least he had had the decency to look ashamed at this assertion. She grit her teeth.

The Qunari leader, the Viddasala, was the one responsible for attacking the Inquisition. They thought the Inquisition served Fen'Harel. There were agents of Fen'Harel working against the Qunari even here, sabotaging their operation. Their operation to mine lyrium. Mine it in massive quantities.

“Lyrium? I've heard their mages are terrified of it.” Vivienne raised an eyebrow.

But the man, an former templar hired for his knowledge of lyrium, was adamant. The Qunari were mining lyrium for their Saarebas. It was part of an operation know as “Dragon's Breath” - he could not tell them what their plans were exactly, but they seemed to be preparing for a massive assault on the South.

“Considering the size of this operation, they could be mining enough lyrium for an entire army of mages.” Vivienne's concern was bitter.

“Several armies, in fact.” Cassandra was clearly worried, the muscles in her jaw tensing. “Last time it took an exalted march to stop the Qunari.”

“We have to try and put a wrench in their works.” Sula put forward, unhappy with the plan she knew they would have to try and put into practice. “There is enough gaatlok in this place that we might use it to collapse the caves.”

Cassandra caught her eye and nodded. “We have to end this war before it begins.”

“Then let's go,” said Sula with forced cheer, “we have a lyrium mine to ruin!”

__

The rest of the day was a blur to Sula. They had gone in fighting, encountering groups of Qunari all along the way and battling them in heated skirmishes that left them exhilarated and with their adrenaline pumping.

Sula had been unnerved by the Qunari assasins' unrelenting taunts and Cassandra had had to step in more than once to put her shield between Sula and an incoming dagger. There had been moments where Sula had watched numbly as her companions gracefully danced around her in perfect battle synergy, while she herself felt small and frustrated and not at her best. The pain in her hand was driving her to distraction. When the frustration had become too much she had lashed out firing bursts of ice and fade magic, feeling rage propelling her forward.

There had been ample barrels of gaatlok around the mining structures, but there were no primers – the Qunari apparently being smart enough to not leave them lying around with their explosives, so they had had to search the mines for them.

When they had encountered one of the Saarebas, the famed Qunari mages, Sula had briefly thought that they might be done for. The Saarebas was a huge form – even more imposing than The Iron Bull, muscled and shackled in elaborate ways that spoke of torture and control. His power had been like nothing she had ever encountered and she had been glad to have Cassandra and Vivienne at her side, who had fought Saarebas before and shouted commands at her to make sure she did not accidentally kill herself by stepping into one of the energy traps the hulking mage threw at them.

Finally Sula had used the mark to cast powerful fade magic, something she tried to avoid unless the situation was dire, and it had been excruciating, but it had worked, weakening the Saarebas and causing enough damage to land the final blow, while Cassandra held off the Qunari defenders that threatened to knock her down.

Once the battle was won, they were able to find the primers they had been looking for and set to sabotaging the mining platforms, blowing them up one by one. Dodging to safety as the blast of heat spread outwards and the explosion set debris flying.

Their actions had repercussions. There were more explosions as the platforms collapsed and the sound of crashing rocks told them that they had succeeded – maybe a little too well – in bringing down the structures that stabilized the caves.

“Quickly! We must get out of here!”

There was a sudden rush of water cascading down the stone in front of them. One of the explosions must have destroyed a wall holding off an underground river or reservoir. The influx of water was steady enough to tell them they were in danger of drowning if they did not hurry.

Their mad dash back to where they had come from was hindered, however, by numerous Qunari attacking them.

Afterwards, Sula was not sure quite how they had managed to outrun them and the steadily rising waters, but they did. They made their way back through the Crossroads with as much urgency as they still could muster and emerged from the eluvian wet, bloodied and winded.

Sula was glad that the water was hiding the tears that had begun to spring up in her eyes. The mark was on fire and her lungs and legs ached and her head pounded in rhythm with her heartbeat.

“I am relieved you're alright.” Cassandra pulled her into a hug.

Sula clung to her for a while, shivering.

After a moment Vivienne cleared her throat. “What now, Inquisitor?”

Sula pulled away from Cassandra with a sigh and then gave Vivienne a sharp, mirthless grin.“We get to tell Cullen and Josephine that we are probably at war with the Qun.”

__

The meeting with her advisors went as well as could be expected. Sula had relayed all they had learned and everyone had weighed in with their opinions. Cullen was clearly alarmed, Leliana seemed thrilled by the challenges – and Josephine found her hands full dealing with the political repercussions the situation was already causing.

If that had not been enough their meeting was interrupted by Arl Teagan and his Orlesian pendant on the Council informing them that there had been an incident with one of their scouts.

The altercation led to the revelation that someone had smuggled gaatlok into the Winter Palace.

Sula tried to help, but found she was too exhausted to be of much use. She had had a quick meal and a change of clothes before dealing with the advisors, but now she found she could hardly keep herself upright, let alone think straight or be helpful. Eventually, Leliana took pity on her and made excuses for her, allowing the Inquisitor to retire for the day.

How long had they been in the Deep Roads? It must have been almost a whole day. She could hardly keep her eyes open.

When she reached her quarters, she crawled into bed but, even for all her exhaustion, her mind would not let her rest and the mark burned and pounded in her palm.

Cassandra, who must have had a key from Leliana, found her whimpering and curled up in a ball a while later and sent for Vivienne, who gave her potions to drink that finally put her to sleep.

__

“Absolutely not. She must have rest.”

Sula woke to Cassandra's loud, lilting voice arguing with someone far more able to keep a whispering tone in an argument. Eventually there were departing steps and the sound of a door closing.

Her mind was still a little foggy, but Sula slowly came back to herself and took stock of the aches and pains in her body. The thud in her palm was still there, insistent and sharp, but not on fire, not as painful as it had been. Her shoulder hurt – she had been thrown against the stone fiercely several times by a Qunari defender – and her muscles protested their rough treatment.

She stretched and that was a mistake that made her hiss through her teeth.

Seconds later Cassandra was at her side, her face worried and dark marks under her eyes. “How are you feeling?”

“Rested but sore.” Sula tried to make her face communicate that she was alright now. “Thank you for taking care of me. I was too...” she broke off, noticing something in Cassandra's face that made her worried for her suddenly. “Are _you_ alright?”

Cassandra grimaced full of pain and worry. She opened her mouth several times, wanting to say something but coming up empty.

“I am here. I am alright.” Sula reached for Cassandra, taking her hand. “Come lay down with me?”

Cassandra nodded and stood to take off the coat and pieces of armor she was wearing and then lay down next to Sula, who curled her body towards her and put her arms around her as best she could.

It felt steadying having Cassandra so close, her body seemed to warm at the proximity, but Sula was worried for her. It would not do that Cassandra ignored her own well-being just to look after her. “Did you sleep?”

“Not much. Maybe an hour or two.”

“You should try and sleep now. I heard you negotiate more peace and quiet for me earlier. I am rested now, but you should not let yourself... You should rest.” Sula entwined her hand with Cassandra's again. “I will be here and I am fine.”

Cassandra's look called her a liar, but apparently she was too exhausted to call her out on it. “Fine. I will try.” Then her eyes softened. “What will you do?”

“I will stay here. I will rest – but not sleep. Maybe I will read.” Sula cast her eye about the room for a book.

“Will you...” Cassandra started but stopped again. “There is a book on the table by the fireplace. I was reading it earlier. It is an Orlesian romance. I am not sure if you... but you did enjoy _Swords & Shields_, did you not? At least...” Cassandra exhaled deeply. “You are welcome to read it.”

Sula steadied herself on her good arm, favoring her uninjured shoulder and leaned over Cassandra to kiss her. It was a slow kiss, deliberate and gentle. When the it ended, they both were smiling. “Thank you.” Sula said simply and hobbled over to the fireplace to retrieve the book.

“Turns out I was not used to this amount of running anymore.” She said, her leg muscles screaming at her as she returned to the bed. Cassandra was watching her intently.

“So, how badly am I doing?”

Cassandra blushed. “Am I that obvious?”

“Yes, but your concern is appreciated.” Sula smiled at her. “Just do not forget to take care of yourself on my account.”

“I cannot promise to do that when...” Cassandra had snapped, but Sula, fool-hardy, silenced her with another kiss.

“... not fair.” Cassandra mumbled between kisses, but Sula was relieved to find her responsive and relaxing again.

They made themselves comfortable – Sula to read and Cassandra to sleep – and Sula felt reassured herself.

“Will you read to me?”

Sula was surprised. “But you have read this already?”

“Hm.” Cassandra confirmed with a hum. “All the more chance of it putting me to sleep then.”

Sula's reading was rushed and she stumbled over unfamiliar words – A _ll these Orlesian titles! -_ but settled into a more confident rhythm eventually as she herself felt drawn into the story. It must have been soothing enough, for when she looked over at Cassandra next, she was asleep. Sula watched the stern warrior's face made soft and harsh lines tamed by sleep and once again felt this great building wave of tenderness that she knew well by now, knew that she loved her fiercely.

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Continued thanks to MissRachelThalberg, who makes me put in all the commas I forget.


	10. Memories of the Past

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Cassandra follows Sula through the ancient elven library.

Cassandra could not quite bring herself to relinquish her hold on the Inquisitor... on Sula. Not when she was so warm and real in her arms, smelling faintly of salt and an herbal ointment used to soothe sore muscles. It felt... like  _ belonging. _ Not quite awake yet she concentrated on breathing in, memorizing Sula with all her senses. At last, when Sula stirred, she placed a careful kiss on the nape of her neck.

Sula turned around, stretching, greeting her with a slow, sleepy smile. It would be easy to give in to her desires, to her longing to simply stay here. It only took a moment for Sula to come fully awake and Cassandra saw the worries come back across her lover's face; A line that settled between her eyes, a twitch of the mouth, a look of regret and then a long sigh. No, duty called, they would have to ready themselves and prepare to venture into the maze of eluvians yet again.

__

It was difficult to get going, but Vivienne had been able to procure additional aid from talented healers, that had been eager to help the Grand Enchanter. They got their small team battle ready once more, supplied them with regeneration potions and healing poultices and even used their magic on more serious injuries to make sure everyone was feeling ready for the tasks at hand.

Cassandra recognized the need to be decisive and swift in their actions. The Inquisition, or maybe even all of the South, might now be at war with the Qunari, not to mention the gaatlok discovered in the Winter Palace. They were already under attack. Had this not been discovered… Cassandra shuddered, it could have been much worse. Did the Qunari really think they were in league with these mysterious agents of Fen'Harel, like the templar from Kirkwall had insinuated? For all she knew these elves might yet prove allies. Or was this an elven cult, bent on destroying the world, like the Promisers had tried to do so many times, and their first target just happened to be the Qunari? 

The whole thing smacked of occult fundamentalism, this worship of Fen'Harel, this obsession with the ancient elves. But these elven agents seemed to mainly attack the Qunari. And well, these elven agents had cause. The Qunari had invaded a place that was elven – the Crossroads. Even though the cult-like elves seemed threatening, they were certainly fighting the same enemy. Maybe she had it wrong? 

Sula seemed disquieted by all they had discovered in the past few days, but then who would not be after learning that so much of what they held to be sacred truths were suddenly not so sacred? Cassandra could not fault her. She needed to keep an open mind. They must get answers from this Viddasala.

Cassandra felt that, at least physically, she was reminded of their routine during the more trying times of the Inquisition. Mentally it was more difficult to reach that space of familiar focused determination. Her worry about Sula had become even more acute.

She tried to separate herself from these feelings, tried to apply well-worn Seeker techniques to a new problem, tried to calm her mind with meditation and recitation of familiar verses – it finally seemed to work. Her mind settled and clarity came to her. She knew she had to be strong for Sula. Knew that Sula looked to her and expected to see the picture of determination, personified by the clear-minded Seeker, that she was accustomed to.

Oh, but it was difficult with her heart bent on leaping and aching so frequently in her chest. Sula's thoughtful frown would suddenly melt and give way to a small smile directed explicitly at her, as it had happened on their way to Leliana that morning, and Cassandra felt so struck and rendered honey-liquid with happiness that she had actually tripped over her own feet.

This would not do.

“We cannot let ourselves be distracted by this.” She had told Sula as they set off into the eluvian again. Sula had tried to catch hold of her hand and Cassandra had found herself almost jerking it away. Thankfully Sula had been quicker, but she had noticed her inner turmoil. She had merely squeezed her hand and briefly nodded, her face impassive. With a flare of light that quickly turned to angst, Cassandra realized Sula must be feeling the same way.

__

When they had found the instructions to “look for an eluvian marked by a bookshelf” Cassandra could never have imagined what marvels they would find themselves confronted with that day.

They had stepped into another place similar to the Crossroads, but filled with floating islands carrying rows upon rows of impossibly tall shelves crammed to the brim with books and scrolls.

The promise of knowledge and learning that permeated the place felt tangible even to her. It must have been even more overwhelming for Sula, who, as an elf, seemed vastly more susceptible to the magic of the Crossroads and the temples of the ancient elves.

Everyone had looked around in wonder, marveling at what they beheld. Even Vivienne, who had always been the most calm and collected member of their party, was wide-eyed, rendered speechless by the sheer scope of the place.

Sula and the Grand Enchanter eventually read some of the scrolls, books and notes they found scattered on tables throughout this ancient elven library. She herself was too in awe of the place to touch anything. It was better for her to stay alert and not get absorbed by their discoveries. 

Cassandra merely walked along the towering bookshelves and skimmed the backs, finding a lot of languages she did not know, but noting with some surprise that even newer titles were represented. Was this place not a relic then, untouched by time since the fall of the elven empire, but rather an ever-growing archive? If so, who kept it supplied?

“You are right to be on your guard, Cassandra,” Vivienne remarked. “There are traces of a magical catastrophe in the air.”

Sula turned to face her. “I can sense it as well. It seems like something far away or long ago, but we should remain wary.”

Cole came to stand guard with her as the two mages looked around the shelves and tables covered with writing once more.

“Oh!”

Cassandra turned to see Sula nearly drop a scroll she had picked up. “Sula! What..?”

“It was... I could suddenly read it again. No, not read. It's like the words appear right inside my head and I can -” Sula's brow furrowed, she looked pale. “These tales are about the ancient elven gods, about what they made their followers, theirs slaves, do. They made them... carve rocks...erect a monument in a single afternoon. There were thousands and thousands. It seemed so real. Not like reading. Like a memory.”

“Are you alright?”

It was a trivial question. Cassandra could see plain on her features that Sula was not alright, but. what could she possibly do to help her love with this? Cassandra hated feeling helpless, especially when Sula was so clearly in distress. 

“I cannot say that I am, but I will manage. We need to find out all that we can. Please, let's move on?”

Sula and Vivienne once again went ahead, leading the way to the shelves they wanted to explore. Cole hung back with Cassandra.

“You made her happy then, but she was too afraid to show it. Too afraid to distract. Distraught, she sees concern and anger. But it makes her heart laugh. Your anger and your concern help her, you are not helpless. You have helped.”

“Cole. You should not...” she sighed. Maybe it was futile to tell Cole to stay outside of people's heads. He was more spirit than he had been during their time at Skyhold. Maybe he always saw what they thought. And, most of all, he wanted to help – he was compassionate. “Thank you,” she finally whispered.

She tried to keep her feelings subdued as she watched Sula interact with more of the ancient elven writings.

Sula smiled dreamily. “This one showed – a vast park, plants and flowers, marvels and beauty. The elves were happy. It was so beautiful. Cities of glass... so blue. Indescribable.”

She wished Sula would stop reading these things. She was not entirely certain they were not messing with her mind. What if she read one that would... cause damage? Who could help her then? But it was not her place to stop Sula. She needed to do this. They needed to do this, to fiind answers. 

“This one is... a banishment? I cannot quite make sense of it. The Evanuris seem... like impossible, intimidating shapes. I cannot make them out clearly. I do not know if...” Sula's voice had died down to a whisper. “I could not say what they are. How should gods  _ be _ ?” She shook her head unhappily.

“Courage, my dear.” Vivienne put a comforting hand on Sula's shoulder. “This is not your first time facing something out of legend. You know you have the strength to do this – whatever we may find.”

“Wherever this takes us, I know you will lead us well.” Cassandra added.  _ My love, _ she did not say.

__

The spirit they had encountered next was yet another discovery she had been unprepared for. It –  _ she? _ \- had introduced herself as a librarian of the place. She had addressed Sula in particular with great kindness, had explained that this place was an ancient place of living knowledge that connected libraries all across the ancient elven empire. A place where knowledge was shared by all that visited or traveled through it. Then they were told that it was now in disarray, broken because the Veil had sundered its intricate connections.

“You mean to say that the world was once connected to the Fade – without the Veil?” Sula questioned the spirit.

“Yes, this place was made from world and Fade. When they were sundered – so were we.”

But the Maker created the Veil before he created men. How could what they were hearing now be true? This seemed impossible, unreal. Certainly this being had it wrong? Or was it lying?

Sula's eyes were shining, questioning the spirit, her thirst for knowledge about the ancient elves palpable to Cassandra. She could not fault her friend for wanting to learn all she could here. 

But the librarian could not recall anything that made sense. Her sentences were fragmented, interspersed with dying elves’ last thoughts. She became increasingly incoherent and distraught.

“Stop, please stop! You don't need to hurt yourself!”

The intervention had been Cole's. Cassandra wondered what he could sense here. As Sula asked the librarian about the Viddasala she turned to him.

“Is she telling the truth? Can we believe her? Is she... well?”

“Torn, terror, truth intermingling. She is here to serve, to answer. She is fragments, feelings - do not fear. She speaks true.”

“They are looking to find out more about the Veil.” Sula called over to them. I know where to go. Then, to the spirit: “We must be going now, farewell.”

“Know this!” it called after them. “Before the Qunari, an unknown person came and woke the librarians. Beware them now, they are unwell.”

“An unknown person? Could this have been another agent of Fen'Harel?”

Vivienne straightened, ready to move on. “I would think it likely, dear Cassandra.”

They had encountered these mysterious agents everywhere they had gone so far, yet had not learned anything more about them. They must be powerful mages. Elven, possibly. Capable and secretive with access to ancient knowledge none of them could imagine. Very dangerous. This did not bode well.

__

They had spent hours running around in circles, traveling through eluvian after eluvian, from island to island, hoping to restore a path to a place the Qunari had fled to, a place that was hanging tauntingly, tantalizingly above them, just out of reach.

Sula's mark flared up badly near a source of ancient elven magic. It seemed to hurt her, but with her gloves on, Cassandra could not make out if the mark was adversely affected. Vivienne pronounced the development “interesting” and Cassandra wanted to slap her for it.

“It doesn't hurt when I am casting spells!” Sula protested, but was clearly worried by the inability to explain what was causing her mark to behave that way.

After more eluvians and more running back and forth to activate pathways, Cassandra's patience with the place was running out. Her temper was kept in check, however, by her awareness that she must keep a clear mind. The dead Qunari they had found, eyes staring wide with fear, were a signal to keep their wits about them.

Some of the places they had seen were truly ruins, empty shelves and scattered books. When they encountered another librarian, they had been prepared to find out more about this place but none of them was prepared for what it told them.

“How could the Dread Wolf cast a Veil between the world that wakes and the world that dreams?” The librarian communicated the last records in its memory. “When the Veil went down the gods went silent. What is this Veil? What has Fen'Harel done?”

“Are these records saying Fen'Harel created the Veil?” Sula was incredulous.

“Fen'Harel imprisoned the gods. If I get out of here I will kill Fen'Harel!” the spirit continued.

“Impossible!” Vivienne interjected. “If there was a time the Veil did not exist, there would be some mention of it in human history.”

“Elven lore does make reference to Fen’Harel tricking the gods into leaving this world and locking them away somewhere. Maybe this prison is in the Fade?” Sula countered.

The librarian’s voice still continued. “Without the magic, the old pathways crumble. We cannot get out of here.”

“So... the Veil destroyed the ancient elven empire?” Sula's voice had a strange constricted sound to it. “And this was… Fen’Harel’s doing?”

Cassandra could not help but feel some empathy towards those voices relayed to them through the ages. “If what we are hearing is true, this would have been a disaster without measure.”

“An empire run on more magic than we have ever seen?” Vivienne sounded horrified. “Perhaps it is best its little secrets remain lost. They became dependent on their magic. These elves trusted completely that their world would never change. Empires fall, Inquisitor. We can all but try to remain standing when the dust clears.”

Then the spirit vanished. Leaving them each to their own thoughts.

They went on searching, found more books and records that spoke to Sula, but Sula had stopped speaking to the others about what she learned. Cassandra watched her face, trying to glean what kind of memory Sula had had to face now, and what went on in her head. Sometimes there was a dreamy, wistful look that relaxed Sula’s features, making her seem young and happy. These instances were rare, however. More likely Sula would frown or shiver and vertical lines would appear between her eyes, or she would rub her eyes in frustration - as if willing the images to go away. The memories seemed to preoccupy Sula more and more. Cassandra was certain she was not even aware of her watching her.

Their progress afterwards was slow and they encountered some of the demons the first librarian had warned them about, but the fight, though difficult, had not exhausted them. Though, with mounting fear, Cassandra had observed that Sula now was able to use her mark to send shock-waves of Fade magic through her enemies. An effective trick that seemed to cause her noticeable pain, however.

“Inquisitor, we must look at your hand,” she had implored Sula once they were out of danger.

Sula's reply was curt. “The pain has stopped.” Meaning, do not ask me again.

“The magic here wakes it. Familiar, strong, ripping apart again.”

“Thank you, Cole, for summarizing what I clearly could not understand for myself as an accomplished mage.” Vivienne’s voice was cold as ice.

The Grand Enchanter’s temper rarely showed, but clearly she was as frustrated by what they were finding as Cassandra herself was. 

Cassandra's heart ached for Sula. Not only was the anchor visibly acting up, but all their discoveries had made Sula withdrawn and thoughtful.

__

They were surrounded by Qunari forces. They had finally reached the island where Qunari were congregating in a courtyard. The island which they had been able to make out far above them and out of reach soon after entering the ancient library. 

“Your duty is done Inquisitor, it is time to end your magic.” A large and imposing Qunari woman, stepped forward to adress them. She was dressed in Qunari armor, boiled and woven leather, held together by an intricate network of decorative seeming ropes, with a huge book strapped prominently to her person – a sign of rank? Her face was clouded by anger and when she spoke her strong voice sounded off throughout the courtyard. The woman seemed even taller than the Qunari Cassandra had met before, but even she was dwarfed by the hulking form of a truly gigantic Saarebas towering behind her. He appeared to be about twice the size of the Iron Bull. All reason told her that this must be the Viddasala – and at her command a powerful Saarebas likely plied with lyrium. This was not good.

Sula offered to speak peacefully, trying the route of diplomacy, as she had done many times before with those willing to listen, but the Viddasala did not want to talk. Simply wanted to school them in her ways of thinking.

“This chaos in the South is beyond comprehension. You are not able to control your magic. The Qun should have acted long ago. Do you think closing the breach would end all confusion? You were wrong. Your understanding of the world is limited.”

Sula tried to ask questions, to find out what the Viddasala knew about this place, knew about the agents of Fen'Harel, but it was for naught.

The Viddasala turned to her followers. “Kill the Inquisitor, then follow me to the Darvaarad.”

That was that. The Viddasala and her followers left through an eluvian, leaving them to fight a squadron of warriors. To her relief the Saarebas left with her. Cassandra thanked the Maker for small mercies.

After their encounters in the Deep Roads the party was slightly more accustomed to Qunari fighting techniques and able to keep them in check much more effectively. Sula pulled large groups of them together using her Fade magic and Vivienne quickly cast a static cage over the group of briefly incapacitated warriors. That freed them up to deal with stragglers attacking them at will. 

Vivienne had been clever enough to think of bringing one of Dagna's ingenious concoctions, confusion grenades, which she used to trick some of the Qunari to fight their own compatriots, thereby adding to number of fighters on the Inquisition’s side. 

Cole, similarly equipped with grenades, set swarms of bees on their enemies and incapacitated them with pools of sticking goo, which Cassandra was careful to avoid. It clogged up one’s armor horribly, making it difficult to move. 

It was, overall, easier to fight out in the open. The Deep Roads themselves had been another enemy, tripping them up and making it difficult to plan attacks when unable to see around corners and into dark hallways. But in the open, the fight was over swiftly. 

Cassandra stood over the felled Qunari triumphantly, exhausted but exhilarated. They were back to their old form. The fight had been thrilling. 

“Dragons, demons and even darkspawn. Now Qunari. I wonder if we will ever run out of things to fight.”

“With you and the Inquisitor, darling, I am sure we are ready to take on whatever comes.” Vivienne's mood seemed to have similarly improved by their success.

They allowed themselves a short moment to catch their breath. Sula even came over to her and pulled Cassandra into a sideways hug, made slightly awkward by all the armor they were wearing. “Thank you,” was all she said, but her expression added:  _ I love you _ . It was a small moment of perfection, snatched amidst all the chaos.

Rifling through the things the Qunari had left behind, they found some more notes similar to the ones in Qunlat and Common.

“These refer to the planned attack on the Council,” Sula said. “There is reference to many elven servants in their employ. This explains why they had to translate these notes. There are replies from the elves as well. They are notifying the Qunari that they have been discovered and are now leaving the Winter Palace.”

“Hopefully all of them will have left when we get back,” Vivienne added. “I am sure I will be able to rest easier knowing that we have managed to disturb any plans they might have had to attack Halamshiral.”

Sula found some of the Viddasala's notes, giving them insight into why the Qunari had come to this place specifically. They sought to understand the making of the Veil. The Viddasala revered the mage that had made it – or Fen'Harel? The reasons were confusing to her in any case. They had sought magical knowledge in addition to training their Saarebas with the addition of lyrium. It was worrying to think that they might not fully understand what they would be up against, however. These notes gave away no details.

As they turned to leave, the party was fortunate to encounter another of the spirit librarians, who relayed to them the words of the Viddasala, giving them information on how to proceed from here, to where the Qunari were planning to go. Even better, it gave them the password to use with the keystone they had taken from one of the fallen Qunari, both of which would help them gain access to the eluvian the Qunari had escaped through. Access to where their main base of operations might be. They were making real progress, finally.

When the spirit thanked Sula for coming here, for strengthening them, Cassandra saw complicated emotions pass over her lover's face.

Cassandra remembered how it had felt when they had been cast into the Fade – bodily – for the first time. How  _ she _ felt when they found the entity that seemed to be Justinia, how it had felt to find out the truth about what had happened to the Seekers and to read that book passed down from the Lord Seeker that contained so many difficult to face facts about her order. If all they had learned in this ancient library, all these revelations about the ancient elves made  _ her _ head hurt – how bad was it for Sula? Having all beliefs you held dear, all certainties that made up the core of who you were, where you came from, distorted and twisted, it had felt to her like a small death. It had been difficult to catch her bearings afterwards. To let her old truths go and to lay out the facts to herself plain and clear. To then come back to what was best about the Seekers, what had been noble and true, to dedicate herself to restoring them. It had been a difficult and lengthy process. It had taken a lot of soul searching and time. She was not so sure Sula had this time now.

Sula was not allowing herself to be distracted from their goal by whatever Cassandra knew she must be feeling. “We have to find this Darvaarad and confront the Viddasala there,” she said, her voice composed and decisive.

Cassandra heart constricted with fondness for her lover, her friend, her Inquisitor. Sula had told her how much Cassandra's own strict discipline and focus had inspired her, how much she had learned from the Seeker. Now Cassandra worried that Sula might have learned too much of her self-negation. She needed to process what they had found. It was cruel to demand she would only focus on the good of the Inquisition.

“We have to protect the South,” Cassandra started, catching up with the elven Inquisitor. “But please remember that you can always tell me your thoughts. I want to help.”

Sula’s reply was a sad smile. “I will, but I can't now, Cassandra. You of all people should understand that I cannot put my own interests before the good of Thedas. So many people depend on us. So many people's lives may be at stake.”

Cassandra tried to be kind. “I know this, but a distracted mind can put lives at risk as well. You do need to...” she faltered.

She was not prepared for Sula's hand to take hers after that. “You are my rock, Cassandra. With you at my side, I know I can do this. For you, I will do this. Do not doubt my focus on our cause, whatever confusion or anguish I am dealing with, there is nothing stronger than what you mean to me.”

She did not let go of her hand until they had stepped through the last eluvian back to Halamshiral.

__

Back in the Winter Palace they had sent a runner ahead to inform the advisors and then quickly shed their armor and cleaned the worst of the day's dirt and blood from their skin. Leliana, Cullen and Josephine were already waiting for them when they reached the Divine's private quarters and they had devastating news. The Qunari’s scheme was far from being a single targeted attack on the Council. The Qunari had planned to attack almost every noble house in the South, as gaatlok barrels had been found in most major cities and palaces around Ferelden and Orlais.

“How could this happen undetected?” Cassandra was stunned by the news.

“If it is the work of the same agents we encountered in the notes, we can assume the Qunari cleverly exploited the noble's blindness to their elven servants’ doings.” Sula stated.

“Indeed,” Leliana went on, “such a clever idea. I can hardly fault these elves for going along with it. As you know, the Warden came from the alienage in Denerim. By her accounts of nobles’ behavior towards the elves the Qunari must have found it easy to rally enough people to their cause. But I don’t need to tell you how badly elves are still treated.”

“No, this is what I would have thought.” Sula nodded.

“The Council believes us to be working with the elves. Those prejudiced against an elven Inquisitor have found the opportunity to prattle nonsense again too tempting to ignore.” Cullen shook his head. “But to some extent, we may be responsible for this threat. The Qunari seem to be targeting the Inquisition, and you, Inquisitor, specifically.”

“This is a mess!” Cassandra felt weak with frustration.

“That isn’t all of it. The gaatlok barrels arrived on the Inquisition's supply manifest. How are we supposed to fight a war if we can’t even trust our own people?” Cullen continued.

“Do we know who smuggled them in on our manifest?”

Leliana turned to Sula with an apologetic look. “Elves in the Inquisition's employ, recruited from Kirkwall. During the troubles there many of them converted to the Qun. They were well integrated into the Inquisition's troops. This was my mistake, I should have had them watched more closely. I should have been vigilant, put their loyalty to the test.”

Sula waved her hand. “If we have to distrust each other our enemies will have won. I admire your skills and dedication, Leliana, but you cannot treat our own people with implicit distrust just because of their background. We have to be wary, but we must stay true to the morals we try to uphold. We beat Corypheus, we protected Thedas. We cannot let this destroy what we have.”

Leliana's smile communicated only pity for the Inquisitor, but she nodded.

Josephine, who had watched silently, suddenly turned to face Leliana and Cullen. 

“Listen to the Inquisitor. We have not handled things right. We have lied and deceived when we should have been open with the Council. How can you blame them for seeing in us a secretive organization when we keep on harboring secrets? How can you blame them for being upset when you flaunt your disregard of them? I have worked hard to represent the Inquisition to the Council, but you have behaved in a way that has made diplomacy...”

Her rant was cut off by a sudden scream from Sula, who clasped her marked hand to her body protectively while cowering in pain.

“Sula!”

“Inquisitor!”

“I don't know what is happening!” Sula's voice was rough after her scream.

Cassandra leapt to her side protectively.

When Sula had caught her bearings again she spoke: “So, the truth. It has been getting worse. I cannot hide it any longer. This last trip – the magic in the ancient library must have... destabilized it. The feeling that I have is – I don't know what it will do, or how much time I have left. We have to go after the Viddasala as soon as we can.”

After a moment's of shaken silence, Josephine came towards Sula. “Do you want us to inform the Exalted Council of... the danger?”

“We cannot keep this secret anymore, Josephine. Inform the Council. We need to warn them in case the worst happens.”

“I will do it personally.” Leliana looked the picture of divine determination in her robes.

After that the advisors departed, to make sure the relevant people would be informed and the Inquisition prepared for the upcoming battle, if there had to be one. Josephine had lingered briefly, compiling a list of things they needed for their assault on the Darvaarad.

When all had finally left, Cassandra gathered Sula in her arms and the pair finally slowly made their way back to Sula's quarters. This time it was Cassandra that reached for Sula’s hand. _Do not dare to leave me so soon, my love._ _We will make it through this, and then there will be a way to rid you of this mark._

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much, amarmeme, for beta-ing and helping me polish this chapter and reminding me to ADD THE FEELS.


	11. Green Light - Moonlight

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's the night before the final battle. Some angsty hurt/comfort. 
> 
>  
> 
> (This got a lot longer than I thought it would - and so I've decided to split the final chapter.)

  
  


Late at night they made it back to Sula's rooms in the Winter palace. Her hand was burning.

_ Shit, shit, shit! Why is this happening now? _

Sula must have let slip a pained noise because she could feel Cassandra's grasp of her other hand tighten. “How bad is the pain?”

“It's burning. It hasn't stopped since it flared up back in the library.”

“Since _then_? But I thought...” Cassandra stopped moving, forcing Sula to stand and look at her. “And when it flared up back in the meeting?”

“When it does that, there is a jolt of stronger pain.” Sula tried to put some reassurance into her expression as she continued, maybe if she told herself it was not so bad Cassandra would also believe it. “Right now, the burning is also painful, but... Vivienne's potions will take the edge off it, I know. I won't hurt any more than if my hand had brushed a plot of stinging nettles.”

Cassandra frowned, eyes narrowing in both concern and disapproval, not satisfied with that answer. “Then let's try and take care of it first.”

Sula reluctantly sat down in one of the big armchairs and allowed Cassandra to take off the glove she had kept on to hide the state of her mark.

Even though Cassandra must have been preparing herself for the worst, she still gave an audible hiss when she saw the flickering lines that now had spread all over Sula's hand and some way down her arm. Far from the faint glowing line it had been when Cassandra last had a good look at it, it now seemed to tear through Sula's hand much deeper and angry flickers occasionally appeared under her skin where it burrowed deeper into her flesh.

To Sula the sensation was indeed that of nettles, if amplified – or, currently, of putting one's hand into a hive of biting insects. It made it difficult to think of anything else, took all her self-control not to show how afraid it made her.

When the mark had once again flared up, out of control, in the meeting and she had been powerless to stop it, fear had once again put an ice cold vise around her throat. She had always known the mark was not something to be understood. She even had accepted that it was dangerous and that it had the power to destroy her. She had tried to calm herself when, over the years, the line in the palm of her hand seemed to slowly get longer, deeper. She told herself that she was imagining it. Told herself that it might go away, that somehow someone might -

“Which potions has Vivienne given you?”

Cassandra's voice brought her back to herself, out of her thoughts. She scanned the room for the satchel the Grand Enchanter had given her. She indicated it with a nod and Cassandra went to fetch it.

“There should be healing potions as well as a numbing salve and bandages for magical wounds.”

Vivienne had left the supplies this morning, when the state of her mark had not yet been as acute, but the observant and skilled mage had prepared for all eventualities and had arranged for a variety of treatment methods with instructions to be left in the Inquisitor's quarters.

“I want to try the numbing salve, I have had enough healing potions today to know they won't do any good with this thing.”

There was yet hope that maybe the enchanted salve would help her dull the sensation of the mark down to a familiar whisper and pull that she could push far enough away from herself to be able to get a few hours rest that night. If all else failed maybe she would need to ask for a stronger sleeping potion, but she was wary of taking anything too potent lest it made her sluggish and slow to react. She needed to keep her wits about her to be able to face the Viddasala once more at the Darvaarad.

Cassandra lit the lamps around the room and quickly found the potions and magical supplies. It was steadying to watch Cassandra focused on a task, Sula thought with some admiration.

Cassandra took out the container of numbing salve and set it and the bandages down close to Sula, preparing to help her.

“I can do it myself, Cassandra.” Sula protested mildly.

“Let me?” Cassandra's dark eyes looking up at her from the crouched position she had assumed in front of Sula's chair were large and pleading, her face showing so clearly all the emotions she was feeling.

_ How can I say no? _

Sula acquiesced, nodding and extending her glowing hand towards the Seeker carefully. “You have to use one of the spatulas in the bag to apply it, otherwise you won't be able to feel much of your hands anymore afterwards.”  _ Either. _ She meant to say, but was not sure if the salve would work on an injury such as the mark.

Cassandra approached the task of applying the salve with as much dedication and care as she did anything else and Sula's heart began to ache less with fear and more with fondness for her friend.  _ Her love _ . Watching Cassandra's beautiful stern face full of concentration and care was a pleasure that Sula allowed herself to feel, even if their situation was dire. It made her feel comforted. Maybe there was hope that they would overcome this.

The numbing agent began to work quite quickly. An icy sheen seemed to spread over her skin where it was applied and Sula thought the sensation very like a creeping freezing spell. She gritted her teeth. The cream had less of a bite, however, and she was relieved to find that it did indeed numb her hand and lessened the pain caused by the mark. She could feel herself letting go of tension held deep within her body that she had not been aware of before. It felt like taking off heavy armor, weight lifted off her at last.

When Cassandra had finished applying the salve, she set to carefully and methodically wrapping Sula's hand in thick layers of bandages.

“Vivienne said they subdue the residual effects left in wounds caused by magical force. I am not sure how much it will help with this kind of magic, but it is worth a try,” Sula said, trying to sound confident.

She continued her study of Cassandra as the Seeker concentrated on applying the bandage in a way that would secure it adequately but not restrict the blood flow in Sula's arm.

“Thank you.” Sula said, trying to catch Cassandra's eye.

She could just about detect a small smile tugging at Cassandra's mouth, which was gone the instant she looked back up at her.

“Better?” Cassandra's expressive face could never hide her thoughts. Her worry was written across it now in such intensity that Sula felt her stomach sink but her heart swell with love for the woman.

“Yes.” She bent forward, closer to Cassandra, and reached out carefully with her good hand to caress her face, tracing the deep, familiar scar on her cheek with great tenderness.

“Thank you again. You do so much for me, I cannot -” her words faltered as she could feel tears well up in her eyes. She paused and swallowed deeply, trying to will herself to stay calm. It was becoming nearly impossible.

Cassandra turned her face into her palm and Sula could feel her warm breath tingle on her skin before her lover pressed a deliberate kiss on her wrist and then swiftly pulled her forward and gathered her into her arms.

“It's too much. I don't know what to... how to -” Sula mumbled, unable to fight back her tears any longer.

The day's events had been overwhelming, nightmarish, thrilling – so many things at once. Learning about the ancient elves, learning  _ so much _ about them – and so many conflicting things was one thing, seeing the effect the creation of the Veil had had on their civilization with her own eyes had been quite another.

On top of that there was the Qunari threat to deal with. She had to try and put any questions she had about the elven empire of old aside for now. This threat was immediate and had to be dealt with first.

Only... there was also the mark. Given to her by Corypheus, or at least by the orb he had used. The  _ ancient elven  _ orb he had used. The mark that had reacted to the magic of the library – and reacted adversely to a point where she could feel it growing, spreading from her hand into her arm. Reacted to a point where she was afraid it might kill her sooner rather than later.  _ What can I do? What can I do but focus on the task at hand? Save the Inquisition, protect Thedas once more.  _ And if she survived that – well, maybe she could take learned mages to the library, try to find something to cure her of the mark.  _ Maybe find Morrigan, find Solas...  _ She had the knowledge of the Well of Sorrows, he had the knowledge of all the ancient places he had visited in dreams and he had helped stop the mark's growth before.  _ Maybe... _

Cassandra's hold on her was not wavering as she felt sobs shake her. Sula buried her face in Cassandra’s shoulder and tried to make herself concentrate on her lover's steadying presence. She was real, she was here.

After an impossibly long time, during which Cassandra had shifted them so she could lean against the wall, Sula finally felt herself calming down again, her mind and body exhausted. She noticed that Cassandra was rubbing her back in soothing motions and she sighed deeply.

“I am sorry for -”

“You have nothing to be sorry for, my love.” Cassandra's breath was at her temple, her voice sounded low and warm.

An involuntary shudder went through Sula and she turned to press a chaste kiss to her lover's chin. “I don't deserve you.”

The moment was bittersweet and Sula felt the gap between her happiness and despair, illogically, impossibly wide.

“If the mark is truly killing me – or if we find the Qunari too strong tomorrow – I am still so very grateful that we could have had this. That I told you... that you... that you are giving me this. I love you. I love you so much.”

Cassandra's hold on her tightened. “You know that no Qunari will take you down as long as I am there by your side. We have proved successful against similarly impossible odds. We will come back, and then we will see to your mark.”

Sula wanted to believe it. Wanted to hold on to this moment. Tried to focus only on Cassandra, her body heat, seeping into her own, her steady breathing, her smell familiar and thrilling.

“How is your hand now?”

Sula reluctantly tore her thoughts away from contemplating her lover's presence. The shift back trying concentrate on her own body proved less troubling than she had feared.

“It's like... it has gone to sleep. It prickles, it is strange, but there is no pain. I can easily ignore it right now. The salve worked much better than I anticipated. I will be able to sleep,” Sula sighed deeply.

Cassandra shifted her slightly so that she could look at her. “And you would tell me if that changed?”

“Cassandra...”

There was a flash of anger now, a frown on Cassandra’s face. “Promise me. Please promise me to tell the truth. You do not need to hide this from me. Please do not hide this from me. I want to know if... when...” Cassandra's breath hitched slightly, anger giving way to sadness.

“I will. I promise I will.” Sula tried to communicate her dedication to this promise to her lover, looking deeply into her eyes, taking hold again of her hand. “I will fight this, Cassandra. I will fight for us. I will not give in easily.”

“I know, my love.”

After a moment, Cassandra's eyes shifted from sadness and worry and suddenly were burning with intensity. Sula was startled slightly when her lover leaned forward to draw her into a sudden, searing kiss.

It was tempting to try to lose herself in the sensation of it, and Sula tried to focus only on Cassandra, only on the kiss. She deepened it, concentrating on the way their breath mingled, their heat shared and the feel of Cassandra's lips. Soft and yielding, then possessive and needy, clashing teeth and nipping at her lips, as they traded kisses.

Breathless, she wanted the world to leave, leave them alone for only this. Eventually the kiss became less frenzied and Sula tried to catch her breath, resting her lips still on Cassandra's mouth, feeling her exhale hotly through her nose, moving her head slightly to brush her lips along her lover's in a small caress.

“Sula, if -,” Cassandra started but interrupted herself.

Sula waited patiently for her to continue, to find the words to say.

“I want to make love to you. I want to know every part of you. I understand if this is not – if you don't want this now. But I love you and I want to...”

Sula felt overwhelmed with emotion. Her heart filled to bursting, full of heavy love. It was impossible. Their timing was atrocious, but every fiber of her being protested that  _ yes _ she wanted this.  _ Yes. Yes always _ .

She silenced Cassandra with a kiss, trying to put her meaning into it with all her heart.

Cassandra exhaled audibly then disentangled herself from Sula to readjust her hold on her. She knelt and then miraculously, carefully picked her up and carried her into the bedroom. Sula marveled at Cassandra's strength and her easy grace as she was lowered to the bed with a fluid, slow motion.

The room was dark at first, but as her eyes readjusted Sula could make out everything perfectly, as moonlight came through the windows and gave everything a silver glow. The world seemed very serene, as if the light had somehow transferred to it the stillness of winter.

Cassandra quickly stripped out of her trousers and jacket and then climbed on the bed, positioning herself so she straddled Sula's legs. Sula moved to undo her own uniform jacket, but Cassandra caught her hand and then proceeded to undo the clasps herself. Her movements were slow, exaggerated, and she kept eye contact with Sula.

When she had finished, Cassandra leaned down to open the jacket further and to press soft kisses to Sula's collarbones. She nuzzled Sula's neck and at the same time brought her arm around Sula's shoulders, lifting her up tenderly and helping her to slip her jacket off further, steadying her as Sula carefully pulled the jacket off over her left arm and her bandaged hand. They repeated this slow, careful process for Sula's shirt, and finally she was able to support herself on her elbows as Cassandra unwound her breast band with such reverence that Sula was impossibly torn between raw love and mirth.

She must have smiled because when she caught Cassandra's eye her smile was returned so broadly that it nearly made her heart stop.  _ Oh, my love. You are so beautiful. _

Cassandra's hands were rough, battle-worn but impossibly tender, exploring her body, caressing her in long, searching motions. Sula's breath already become rugged and her heart beat faster, reacting to Cassandra's touch.

When Cassandra started following up her caresses with deliberate kisses, placed dotingly along the slope of her shoulders, her biceps, along her sides and finally down between her breasts, Sula was certain she would be able to forget the end of the world even if it were to happen all around them.

_ Yes! _ She hummed her pleasure and closed her eyes, trying to bring her mind only to the sensation of Cassandra's ministrations, her hands, her hot mouth. Then she would become overwhelmed with the need to see her lover, forcing her eyes open to see Cassandra in the cool moonlight caressing her, kissing her. She needed so much to memorize both, the feeling and image of being made love to by the woman she loved.

Cassandra placed long, lingering kisses just under Sula's breasts. It was sweet and wonderful but increasingly torturous as her breasts ached to be touched. Finally she could not suppress a whimper, trying to move herself closer to Cassandra's teasing mouth.

Her lover's kiss turned into a huff and Sula could feel Cassandra's mouth smiling into her side before she methodically kissed her way upward.  _ Oh fuck. _

Sula shivered with pleasure as Cassandra's mouth pressed hot, open-mouthed kisses onto the top of her breast. Pleasure shot through her and to her core and she could no longer stop herself from pressing her body up, seeking contact with Cassandra, who,  _ blast it all _ , was still wearing her shirt.

Sula reached up, digging her fist into the fabric as Cassandra moved her attentions to her other breast, teasing, peppering it with small kisses before placing a passionate, open-mouthed kiss on her nipple that had Sula seeing stars and tearing at Cassandra's shirt with all her strength.  _ Oh! Please! _

Cassandra sat up, breathing heavily and at last quickly divested herself of the shirt. Sula reached up to touch her lover while Cassandra returned to kiss her way upwards to her clavicle. Sula relished the feel of her lover's hot skin, trying to communicate her appreciation through her caresses.

When Cassandra's mouth had found Sula's again and they were unhurriedly kissing, lost in the timeless sensation of it, she let her hands trail to Cassandra's breast band, skimming the lines of hit and tracing its edges. At last she slipped her fingers under the band ever so carefully.

Her reward was a low, a rumbling kiss and a laugh from Cassandra, who took her meaning and unwound the band, as Sula's fingertips trailed along her hips, waiting to be allowed to see and caress all of Cassandra.

When Cassandra came to lie flush against her, her body heavy and hot and irresistibly real, Sula inhaled deeply the smell of her lover's skin.  _ Iron and clean sweat. Roses still? Or am I imagining it? _ It was a wonder that she should be allowed to have this, to be allowed it even as everything else seemed to be falling apart.

She nuzzled Cassandra's neck, which did exciting things to her lover's breathing and finally kissed along the lines of her ears, which she had always found particularly distracting. She whispered as much to Cassandra, made reckless by love and exhilaration.

A mistake, likely, because it made Cassandra turn to  _ her  _ ears, which were too sensitive to stand any kind of tender caress. Sula's head yanked away almost involuntarily at the intense sensation of Cassandra's lips on her ears. It tickled so much she gave a small yelp and nearly bit Cassandra's collarbone in response.

“I'm sorry!” Cassandra's eyes were wide open in shock when Sula looked up at her sheepishly.

“No, it's just,“ Sula attempted to explain, “they are very sensitive. I mean, it's alright to touch them, but you have to be a bit more forceful, otherwise it is unbearable... they're terribly ticklish.”

“Oh I see.” The relief on Cassandra's face was balm to Sula. “I understand. I have a scar like that.” She took Sula's hand, moved it across the toned muscle of her stomach and carefully placed it on a scar at her side. The contact made the muscles under Cassandra's skin jump and made her inhale sharply. Then she pressed down Sula's hand on it a bit more forcefully and Sula could feel her lover relax again.

The kisses they shared afterwards were slow to the point of being meditative and Sula felt herself letting go of tension, losing herself again in kissing and being kissed, touching and being touched, learning her lover's body and being explored in return. She felt breathless and light-headed with the thrill of it.

Eventually Cassandra's moved one hand to the fastening of her trousers, undoing it and slipping her hand along Sula's hip bone, helping her to shift and wiggle out of the garment, finally moving back, slipping her hand under Sula's ass to lift her up and pull down the trousers completely, allowing Sula to swiftly kick her way out of them.

Cassandra's breath came as quick as hers and her braid had come undone from its usual fastenings. She sat up and seemed to consider something. Sula studied her profile thoughtfully, wondering what was going on inside her lover's mind.

She turned her body towards Cassandra, reaching out to put one hand over hers. “Cassandra?”

Her lover turned back towards Sula with a smirk that was slightly mischievous, returned to kneel above her, her hands coming to rest on her hips. Then grasped her in a firm embrace and bodily moved her forward to the edge of the bed.

Sula's heart was racing as Cassandra crouched somewhat out of sight. She could feel her lover's hands moving down her legs in long strokes, eventually focusing on the inside of her thighs, making her twitch in anticipation and her skin tingle pleasantly. Her need to be touched  _ everywhere  _ became more and more urgent as the sensations combined to promise ecstasy.

Cassandra finally removed Sula's remaining undergarment and ran the tips of her fingers along the inside of her legs, just where they were closest to her center without quite reaching it. Sula's body flexed and pushed towards the touch with need and abandon.

_ More, more, more! Please!  _ Cassandra placed searing kisses along the tender skin of Sula's thighs, traveling slowly upwards. Then she felt Cassandra's hand tenderly placed on her, fingers sliding through wet heat, searching for –  _ there! _ She inhaled sharply. Then nearly forgot to breathe when her mind registered a puff of hot air and then Cassandra's lips placing a kiss on her clit.  _ Oh! _

Cassandra was careful at first, running the tip of her tongue against Sula's clit, but soon she felt the whole heat of her lover's mouth, the texture of her tongue against this point that gave her such pleasure, impossibly, wonderfully making her soar. She hummed, moaned, trying to guide Cassandra by voicing her delight.

Pleasure seeped through her body in a flood that that was all honey and silk, making her float and overwhelming her senses. When she closed her eyes, flecks of light danced behind her eyelids while her whole body started to tense, sensation traveling through her core with brilliant intensity.

When Cassandra started to tease her entrance with a finger, finally slipping it in and curling it deep inside, Sula could hold no longer and gave herself over to the blissful release that washed over her. She clenched around Cassandra's hand, pushing down on her finger, seeking every last bit of friction, of sensation.  _ Of her! _

The last quivers of her orgasm died down as Cassandra positioned them fully on the bed again, curling her body into Sula's, who clung to her as tightly as the loose-limbed feeling that had taken over her allowed her to. It was more perfect, more blissful, more intimate than she could have ever dreamed.

“I love you. I love you so much.” Her voice was rough and she struggled to keep her eyes open, but she found Cassandra's hand again, clasped it tightly and brought it up to her mouth so she could cover it with kisses.

There was the sense of Cassandra being even closer, a quick kiss and the realization that she could taste herself on Cassandra's mouth – then slowly exhaustion finally won and she could not fight off the sleep that finally claimed her.

  
  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you to amarmeme for the excellent beta and notes.


	12. In Pursuit

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sula and Cassandra try to catch up with the Viddasala.

They had anticipated resistance at the Qunari fortress, yet many of the things they discovered there still came as a surprise. The sheer amount of eluvians amassed by the Qunari, the size of the place, the number of Saarebas they encountered. It had proved extremely difficult to make progress once the Qunari had been alerted of their presence, wave after wave of fighters throwing themselves at Sula and her companions.

In the quiet moments between fights, Sula tried to scan and memorize their surroundings. They had left late in the day, preparations taking longer than anticipated, but where they had emerged, it was night. How far had they come through the eluvians? Where was this place? They were surrounded by hills and forest, no lights in the distance, no signs of civilization outside the battlements. The coolness of the night suggested they were deep in the mountains and considerably high up. Usually her sense of smell might have given her some kind of hint as to where they were, but this was unfamiliar, bar the overwhelming scent of pine carried on the wind swirling all around them. Was this Par Vollen? Or had they been transported to a secret location somewhere else entirely? She could not tell.

Using the mark in their fights had been more effective than usual, but at great cost. Sula fought hard to keep control of it, but the searing pain that shot through her arm whenever she used its magic was crippling and took a few moments to recover from. Cassandra and even Vivienne were shaken by it and visibly concerned. Sula tried her hardest to keep a brave face, she could not falter now. She only urged her companions on to hurry while they dispatched group after group of Qunari guardsmen.

Finally, they had made their way to an imposing-looking armored door, fortified by a complicated system of locks. Sula had been briefly worried about getting through it, but they had sent Cole to check out the mechanism. He had stood in seeming contemplation for a few minutes, then quickly operated the complex system of shifting locks, as if he had known the trick to it all along. There was a sound of heavy gears shifting and the armored door sprang open with a growling clang.

Their progress inside the fortress was slow. As they were unfamiliar with the layout, the group had to be especially careful to not put themselves at further risk when taking on the Qunari on their own turf. They profited hugely from the electricity-resistant equipment they had brought at Vivienne's insistence. The Grand Enchanter specialized in lightning magic herself and, as she had observed the Saarebas using it before, she had been extremely helpful at using her contacts to find particularly useful items to protect herself and the party from that particular brand of magic.

So far, everything they encountered was more or less expected, and they found themselves adequately prepared, but now they had reached the heart of the fortress and the location of the mysterious “Dragon's breath” operation.

A deafening roar echoed through a cavernous hall. Inside they had a clear view of an arena behind it, which contained a massive green dragon. It was clearly being held against its will – and seemed none too happy about it. The area was big, but to such a massive creature it had to feel like a cage. She hazarded a guess that, were it able to spread its, now bound, wings, they would stretch from side to side. She could not tell what was being done to it, but it was clear the creature was suffering.

“Dragon's breath – is an actual dragon?” Sula was briefly dumbstruck by the realization.

Before she had time to think any more about Dragon's breath, the Viddasala made an appearance. Her imperious voice, booming through the chamber was instantly recognizable. Sula turned to face her foe at last. 

“You have come far enough, Inquisitor. No more!”

And with that statement, the Viddasala motioned a small battalion of Qunari warriors to enter the chamber behind her. Sula watched Cassandra surge forward to apprehend and engage the Qunari defenders leading the pack, while Vivienne swiftly trapped some of them in a static cage. Cole had disappeared in a puff of black smoke, on his way to pick some of them off from behind.

Sula dropped ice mines around herself and cast a swift barrier. It would be best and most efficient to use her Veil magic, use the mark, but she was afraid of it now, afraid of when she would reach the point where it would truly incapacitate her. She could not risk taking herself out of the fight – out of a fight such as this. She tried instead to stay back, cover her party and cast as many protective barriers as her mana would allow. This tactic worked for a while, until the Qunari fighters were joined by reinforcements, including some assassins that quickly wove their way through the groups of fighters engaged in battle with the Seeker and Grand Enchanter and zeroed in on her.

At first, some of the assasins were incapacitated by the ice mines, but soon they were on her again, strafing and landing blows that brought her barrier down. With a yell Sula instinctively cast up her arm and ripped open the Veil to let the Fade's forces loose on her attackers.

The effect was instantaneous and Sula's head was filled with her own screams as well as those of her attackers, who were swiftly being disintegrated by the Fade's pull. She collapsed on the floor; the pain was debilitating and it was a struggle to get back up again.

She heard a familiar voice close to her and realized that Vivienne had hastened to her side and hurried to cast a barrier around them.

When Sula looked around the room, she saw that her party had made swift work of a lot of their attackers. Cassandra was still targeted by four defenders and Cole launched an attack on a Saarebas that was standing in the doorway where the Viddasala had previously been. Now, however, the Qunari leader was nowhere to be seen.

A rejuvenating spell of Vivienne's sent a surge of mana through Sula and dulled the aches and pains she had been feeling. She squeezed the Grand Enchanter's arm briefly in quiet thanks before resuming her attacks on the remaining Qunari. Their joint efforts dispatched them quickly.

Sula hurried over to Cassandra's side. “Are you alright?”

Cassandra merely huffed and shot her a mirthless smile. “You are asking _me_ that? What about the mark?”

Sula swallowed, not sure how she could talk about it and not give into temptation and pretend the mark was better than she knew it to be. No, she had promised to be honest. “Not good. This last time was... I am not sure how long I will still be able to use it. Let's hurry.”

“Captive, captured, cannot flee. They are using the dragon. Its breath is venom. Dragon's breath, deathroot, death in the primers.” Cole rejoined them brandishing a note.

“If they are using the beast to manufacture weapons, if it is as vital to this operation as it looks, we owe it to all of Thedas to take it out.” Vivienne remarked.

They quickly made their way through the passage leading to the large main hall holding the dragon.

Being suddenly faced with the beast took Sula's breath away. Even in its chained and muffled state the dragon was magnificent. _I'll never get used to seeing a dragon this close._ More adrenaline shot through her as she gripped her staff more tightly. _Alright, how do we do this?_

The hall was vast and mostly barren stone and reminded her of one of the arenas they had fought the nesting dragons in in Emprise de Lion. It was multi-leveled, round and across from them a huge gateway was shuttered by a great gate of latticed ironwork. There was not much cover they could use, apart from the columns and half-walls that protected the upper walkway. They were still hidden in one of the alcoves.

Turning to Cassandra, wanting to ask her about their plan of attack, she found her lover almost transfixed by the sight in front of them. The warrior was studying the dragon with something close to open wonder. “Cassandra?”

“They have already mutilated her. It seems needlessly cruel to kill her.” Cassandra spoke imploringly, her voice rough with emotion. Sula was surprised by this plea.

Vivienne raised an eyebrow. “I did not think you would turn into one of those sentimental Nevarrans, dear.”

Cassandra snorted. “You can hardly accuse me of _that_. But A dragon should not be mistreated this way. They are wild creatures and should not be kept locked up and tortured.”

“Yes, she needs our help.” Cole agreed.

“If we can free her, we will.” Sula spoke before Cassandra, Vivienne or Cole could say anything else. “Our aim is to stop the Qunari using the dragon's venom and that is much better done by removing her entirely, rather than leaving them a carcass to extract venom from.”

“And if we cannot free her? Or if the beast attacks us?” Vivienne stood, arms folded.

“We will defend ourselves, of course. Our first priority is to stay alive and to prevent this operation to continue. Now, any minute the Qunari here will spot us, so we have to act quickly. Cole, see if you can find a way to open the gate on the other side and cut the dragon's restraints if you can. Vivienne, Cassandra, go ahead and see what else can be done within the main chamber – and when we are discovered, draw them to you and distract them. I will see what can be done up here and I will cover you with barriers and have your back.

“Understood.” Cassandra nodded, businesslike, and set off, Vivienne in tow. Cole had already disappeared again. Sula readied herself to scout the upper walkway and slipped a ring on her finger that also cloaked her and would shield her from view unless she drew attention to what she was doing.

There were shouts below as the guards discovered her companions, and Sula quickly rushed to the mechanisms she found lining the walkway. There were several of them, all somehow connected to the circles of burning flames on the ground below that kept the dragon in check. Changing their alignment or disabling them might prove crucial in clearing a way for the dragon to escape. Sula tested this theory by turning one of the wheels of the mechanism and observed a shift in the flames below. She would certainly be discovered if she kept on doing this, so being quick would be crucial. She made her way over to another one, similarly testing it carefully, observing which way the flames turned.

Underneath her, the dragon was startled into more activity by the fighting going on. Cassandra and Vivienne fought back to back, keeping a group of guards and Qunari fighters at bay. Then the dragon drew back, retreating from the fighting and spewing a cloud of noxious, green smoke at the combatants. Sula sent a barrier around her companions while flinching at everyone's coughs and shouts.

Using this distraction, she ran back to the first mechanism and gave it a few turns, shifting the flames so they cleared a path for to the iron gate. The second mechanism also gave her no trouble and she kept an eye out for the Qunari, who were thankfully still too distracted by the dragon and the Seeker and Grand Enchanter for them to notice her. Cole, however, was nowhere to be seen and the iron gate was still firmly shut. He seemed to have cut the bindings on the dragon's wings however, as the beast was now flapping them, causing havoc with the fighters below.

Sula tried to reach out to Cole, willing him to hear her thoughts, when he suddenly appeared beside her, startling her badly.

“Behind them! Blocking the way. Crummy cart collapsed! We need to clear it.” He gestured over to the gate where indeed a cart of gaatlok barrels seemed to block the way.

“Tell Vivienne to detonate them, Cole. I'll be ready to turn the fires away, you go get the gate open for the dragon.”

The beast had taken quite a bit of collateral damage in the battle. It had been hit by stray magic and when it had attacked its Qunari keepers they had responded in kind. Sula hoped it would still be able to fly.

Then a few things happened in quick succession. The gaatlok cart blew up, she brought the fires away from the gate, which opened with loud creaks and clangs and the dragon saw its chance and bolted forward towards the gate, trampling the Qunari in its way.

Sula cast another barrier around where she expected her companions to be, hoping they had not been hurt in the commotion, and then rushed down into the main hall.

As she stepped down onto the ground floor, she was whisked bodily to the side as a spear rushed past her so close she could feel it. Looking back at the Qunari spearman that had thrown it she saw him struck down by a bolt of lighting that arced and rippled around the chamber and took out the remainder of the wounded Qunari.

Cassandra had snatched her out of harm's way and her hold on her was still crushingly tight, the warrior's armor digging into her, but Sula did not have it in her right now to protest. “Thank you,” she said weakly.

The look Cassandra gave her was full of admonishment, but then softened briefly as the warrior pushed back Sula's hood to quickly press a kiss to her forehead. “You have to stay careful.”

“I know. I will.” Sula brought her arms up around Cassandra as best as she could and inwardly cursed their armor.

“Inquisitor! They are getting away!” Vivienne motioned to a group of Qunari now running across a great bridge leading away from the landing outside the iron gate to a great eluvian shimmering with active magic in the distance. A large group of Qunari was making their way through the eluvian in single file.

As they raced towards it, Sula saw the imposing, hulking shape of the great Saarebas that was never far from the Viddasala's side outlined vividly by the mirror's glow. _This is going to be tough._

“Parshaara!” The Viddasala stepped forward to face them, an ugly snarl contorting her features.

Sula was about to speak when blinding pain rippled through her and the mark sent angry tendrils of light flying through the night air.

At once the Viddasala's face changed, turning instead to something resembling haughty pity. “Dear Inquisitor,” she began, “you have so little time left.”

Sula sensed her companions move closer towards her protectively. Cassandra's hand rested on the grip of her sword, ready to draw.

“You must finally see the truth.” The Viddasala continued. “Elven magic,” she drawled,”already tore the sky apart. If you are not stopped, you will shatter the world as well.”

Sula's mind was racing. “We will? Are you talking about the Inquisition? You can be assured we have no such plans!”

“You still deny working with the agents of Fen'Harel? Preposterous!” The Viddasala spat the words at them.

“We are not working with these agents!” Sula protested. “The Inquisition _closed_ the breach. We have nothing to do with them!” How could she get the Qunari to see reason?

The great Qunari woman gave a mirthless laugh. “Come, Inquisitor, I am the eyes and ears of the Qunari. Do you think you can deceive me? You would have died from this mark on your hand if not for the help of one of their chief agents. The very same agent who led you to Skyhold, who gave the Orb to Corypheus, then founded the Inquisition.”

Sula stood blinking. There was only one person who would fit the first two descriptions on the Viddasala's list, but the third... he had been crushed at its destruction, but that had been because he valued these ancient artifacts, hadn't it?

“Solas? You are talking about _Solas_?” Sula felt winded.

“Yes, Solas. Agent of Fen'Harel.” the Viddasala pronounced triumphantly.

“What?” Cassandra voiced the incredulity Sula felt at this revelation.

“Solas... is an agent of Fen'Harel?”

“You did not know?” The Viddasala's voice dripped with mock pity. “We thought you were his ally.” Then her expression sobered. “Then he tricked us both. _He_ brought the dying Qunari to the Winter Palace to lure you out, set you on our trail. Without him we could have given the South the wisdom and peace it so sorely needs along the gentle path. Now we must go the way of blades.”

“You-” Sula's reply was cut short again by the mark flooding her with debilitating pain.

The Viddasala turned her back on them and strode towards the great eluvian where only her faithful Saarebas was waiting for her. “Panahedan, Inquisitor,” She said, stepping into the eluvian. “Solas will not outlive you, if that is any comfort to you.”

Sula and her companions watched the Qunari leader and Saarebas disappear into the eluvian's eerie light, too stricken to move.

A grim reality became clear to Sula. “If it was him that originally owned the orb, Solas is the only one who truly knows how to deal with the mark.” She turned to Cassandra, willing all her determination to give her strength. “We find him before the Viddasala does. We make him help me.”

__

Arriving through the eluvian must have damaged the mark further – or maybe it was these ruins? When she had set foot in the place the anchor had flared up, out of control. She felt the swift build up of energy, unable to do anything about it until it exploded out of her, ripping her from the ground, shaking her like a rag doll and blasting out a wave of energy and spirit damage that knocked everyone caught in its blast radius down to the ground.

She had to be careful to discharge it far away from her companions – or use the energy as it built up so it would be drained and not get to the level where she could not control it any longer. Luckily, they ran into enough Qunari along their way through the ruins that she found frequent cause to use the marks energy.

Her pain was a constant pulse now, but her body was flooded with so much adrenaline and magic that it seemed to become a part of her. She tried to use the power she felt, the weird energy that spurred her on and made her act in the moment.

The Viddasala was always just a step ahead of them, outmaneuvering them and frequently just disappearing through yet another eluvian as they caught sight of her. They could not let up the chase.

Finally, after one great battle against what must have been the remaining bulk of the Viddasla's forces, they stepped out of an eluvian into a vast clearing that was completely empty, bar another great eluvian on the other side of it. No Qunari were to be seen.

“Did we take the right one?” Cassandra's stepped closer to her as they scanned their surroundings. “There were so many.”

“I am certain.” Sula reassured her. “She may have gone through that one over there already. We should follow.”

“No, no, not alone. He is here. Ordered to kill. Ordered to keep us away.” Cole indicated the sky.

There, inside a shimmering, barriered orb, the great Saarebas hung, waiting.

 _She has left him behind to stop us. It will be us or him if we are to get through that eluvian._ Sula reached out to take Cassandra's hand and felt familiar pressure returned once more.

“I love you,” she said. “We can do this.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you again to MissRachelThalberg for early comma intervention and to Amarmeme for the beta, all the excellent input and helping me to improve my fic - and this time also for putting in extra time battling word processing imps. 
> 
> Home stretch for this fic proves tougher than anticipated.


	13. Confrontation

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The party battles the great Saarebas and Sula catches up with Solas.

  
  


The onslaught of magical energy was unlike anything Sula had experienced before. The great Saarebas, free of whatever had shackled him to the Viddasala unleashed forces upon them that they were not prepared for. Clearly he had not been able to use his full potential before.

It was near impossible for them all to land a hit at first. The magic they cast was deflected, or seemed to have no impact, and Cole's and Cassandra's physical attacks were sidestepped at every turn by a foe that was able to shift himself to a different location within the fraction of a second.

Sula heard Cassandra scream in frustration as the Saarebas dodged yet another one of her attacks.

Sula had been so focused on the fight, on analyzing the Qunari mage's attacks, that she had forgotten briefly about the mark ticking away under her skin, building up energy and endangering them all. It was there once again, having reached a point at which she needed to use it or discharge it to not injure herself and her party. When their enormous opponent suddenly appeared beside her after shifting position yet again, she activated the anchor's discharge almost without a second though. She was getting used to the bright flash of pain that shot through her – but she still could not move immediately after, fighting to compose herself and control her pain and fear. This time, however, there was another muffled groan beside her and with some satisfaction she realized that the Saarebas must have felt the mark's power. _It injured him!_

She was not the only one who noticed this and with a flash of magic he was encased in a coating of firm ice, shot forth by Vivienne. Cole appeared behind him, slashing at his neck and shoulders. Sula cast a barrier and sprinted out of the way as soon as she was able.

Not a moment too soon either, as the shattering of ice and a roar behind her told her that they had lost their upper hand on the Saarebas again. But there was Cassandra's war cry, ringing out across the clearing, and there was the sound of her shield impacting with something equally sturdy. Sula turned around to see the Seeker flung back as the Qunari shot upwards into the air again, retreating into his protective sphere.

“I will use the mark's power as often as I can!” Sula called out to her party. “Wait for it, then let him have it. Try everything. Give it all you've got!” 

“Understood,” Cassandra bellowed back. “But you have to make sure to also protect yourself!”

Vivienne turned towards her with a nod. “If we are reliant on your power. You owe it to us to stay alive.” 

Sula grimaced back at her and then followed Cole's gaze, who was watching the Saarebas still. 

“He's coming down.” Cole stated simply, before the massive form of the Qunari mage slammed down between them, shaking the ground beneath their feet. 

Sula slipped her cloaking ring on again and dashed for safety as she heard Vivienne and Cassandra shout to attract the Saarebas' attention. A hum filled the air and she saw that Cole had thrown a bee grenade into the fray. She was not sure if they were damaging the Qunari, but the clouds of bees swirling around his head were sure to impact his orientation a little at least. Blood gushed from a deep wound. Someone must have landed a first, true hit on the nearly invincible mage. 

Soon the energy made her body tense again, made her hair stand on end and she rushed forward towards the form of the Qunari and slammed her fist upward, activating the anchor's magic. The result was much as it had been the first time, and the thrill of success brought back some of the strength she felt she'd lost. Her party rained blows upon the incapacitated Qunari as she made for safety again. 

After he recovered the Saarebas retreated to the sky once more and they anxiously watched him, waiting for him to make a move. An alarmed shout from Cassandra drew Sula's attention to the ground, which now swirled with tendrils of magic, clusters of dark energy that coiled and thickened in spaces – and suddenly exploded, releasing a variety of demons into the clearing. 

“He must be using blood magic!” Vivienne screamed, before she was hit by a blast of fire from a Rage demon that left the hem of her robes smoldering. 

Sula quickly used her Veil magic to pull the demons together to a central point before ripping open the Veil above them and swiftly dispatching them to their place of origin. “Nice try!” She felt almost cocky with her success and tried to catch Cassandra's eye, grinning through her pain. 

She was rewarded with a groan from the Seeker and a small smile, quickly gone, but worth it all the same.

Then there was lightning all around them as the Saarebas hit the ground once more, now frantic in his movements and visibly hurt. He shifted and slammed down on the ground next to Vivienne, knocking the Enchanter down so that her staff was flung from her grasp. As he stood over her prone form, ready to strike, Cassandra launched herself forward with all the speed she could muster and buried her sword in his thigh. The Saarebas gave a guttural howl as he backhanded Cassandra and also sent her flying. Sula quickly cast a barrier over her friends as Cole appeared within a cloud of bees and buried his daggers in the same leg Cassandra had targeted earlier. He was gone again in a flash – leaving only the bees behind. Vivienne and Cassandra were back on their feet, taking healing potions as the Saarebas was momentarily blinded by bees. 

Sula felt the ticking and pull of the anchor and raced towards the Qunari once more and blasted him with the power of the mark. Beside her, Vivienne cast ice and fire at the mage and Cassandra was making short work of his injured leg, forcing him to buckle under his own weight. He screamed in rage and pain and sent a spell that called forth more shades and demons. 

All was confusion as everyone threw whatever grenades they still had at their foes. The hum of bees filled the air, fires broke out around the clearing and bubbling goo trapped the Saarebas and held him to one space as he seemed to weak now to break its hold. It was madness until, suddenly, Sula realized the mark had built up enough energy again for her to tear open the Veil once more. This time the rip in the Veil not only took the injured demons with it, but also tore at the great Saarebas, who was left hunched over and weak afterwards. 

It was suddenly easy to finish him off, and after they had exhausted their stamina and mana on attacks it was Cole who landed the killing blow, thrusting a long dagger into the Qunari's chest. Blood bubbled from the great mage's nose and sewn-up lips as he took one last shuddering breath, then slumped down on the ground, a mountain of lifeless flesh. 

Sula felt her lungs burn with exertion; it only added to the cacophony of pains shooting through her body and she dropped to her knees. 

“Sula!” Cassandra was at her side in an instant and knelt in front of her. “Are you alright?”

Sula shook her head. “Not alright but... not worse than before... I am just winded.” 

“Focus on your breathing.” Cassandra had taken off one of her gauntlets and gently stroked Sula's forehead. Sula leaned into the caress gratefully.  _ Only a moment. Only a second of this longer before we go on.  _

Cole stayed by the carcass of the Saarebas while Vivienne wordlessly took Sula's arm, removed her gauntlet and clucked while carefully applying more of the icy salve she had provided Sula with. It hardly made a difference now. 

After everyone had taken care of their scrapes and bruises - Cassandra's face had born vivid signs of the Saarebas' backhanding her earlier, and Vivienne had clutched her stomach and winced visibly – they prepared themselves to go through the eluvian. 

Sula went first, holding her breath as she entered the liquid glass of the mirror that seemed to reach out to her, beckoning. 

__

Sula stepped out of the eluvian and heard it crackle behind her.  _ What? _ She saw with some horror that the magic that activated it had left and gone cold. The eluvian was now shut behind her, trapping her alone – wherever this was. 

She took a step forward and immediately flinched, instinct making her drop into a fighting stance as a huge Qunari defender towered above her. And... continued to tower above her unmoving. Fear was replaced by dread as she realized that he was petrified – a whole battalion of Qunari stood around him, all likewise turned to stone, frozen in positions of attack. They were scattered around all of the ruin she found herself in now. It was an eerie sight. 

Sula was startled out of her stupor by shouting coming from atop a slope not too far ahead. She recognized instantly the great booming voice of the Viddasala, shouting furiously in Qunlat and rushed towards it. 

There was another voice now, replying. “Leave, and tell your Qunari to trouble me no further. Your forces have failed.”

_ Was this? This was a familiar voice! _ Sula ran up the slope towards it. She saw the outline of the Viddasala in stark contrast against the glow of another colossal eluvian and another smaller figure beside her. 

As she hastened up the steps to where the encounter was happening, she knew for certain that this had been Solas voice, that this indeed was her companion who had disappeared from Skyhold without a trace years prior. 

She stepped onto the platform with them as the Viddasala raised her arm in preparation to throw her great spear at Solas, whose back was turned towards her. Her angry yell died on her lips as the Viddasala, too, was turned into stone and blue magic briefly flashed around Solas head. He had not even raised a finger. 

“Solas!” she called out towards him. “What are you doing?” 

He turned slowly –  _ as if in thought _ . Then another flare up of the mark's magic sent blinding pain through her and brought her to her knees once more. 

Sula barely had caught her breath when she felt Solas take her hand and work wordless magic on it. The pain subsided to a dull ache and the mark calmed almost instantly. 

Solas spoke to her quietly. “That should give us more time.”

When Sula was on her feet again he regarded her calmly.  _ Does he pity me?  _

“I suspect you have questions.” He looked statelier now. Dressed in a finely crafted armor of a style similar to that worn by the elves they had encountered at the Temple of Mythal. 

“How did you – how did you do that to the mark just now?” Sula tried to stifle her excitement.  _ Maybe he  _ can  _ help!  _ “Are you able to control the anchor?”

“Much in the same way I did at Haven. It has come close to killing you before, remember?” 

It was difficult to read Solas, Sula had always found. He was... enigmatic, but also sly. His small smile did not put her at ease – it had quite the opposite effect. 

“This mark was bestowed upon you by the orb of Fen'Harel,” he paused before adding, “My orb.”

It took a moment to sink in. “You ... are Fen'Harel?” 

Part of her protested the idea as preposterous – yet she knew stranger things to be true.  _ Mythal exists – why not Fen'Harel? _

“I was Solas first. The “Dread Wolf” came later. It was an insult I took as a badge of pride. The title inspired fear in my enemies and hope in the people – not unlike your title does, Inquisitor,” Solas added pointedly. 

_ Real.  _ The Dread Wolf was real. Not only real, but he was Solas. Solas, who had fought by her side for over a year, who had lived under the same roof as her. Who railed against the Dalish, against  _ modern _ elves – but who had taught her so much, who had probably saved her life when the mark threatened it before. But what was he exactly? Was this the spirit of Fen'Harel, reincarnated?

“Are you...” Sula began, but hesitated, trying to ask the question the way she meant to. “Are you like Flemeth then? A vessel for the spirit of Fen'Harel?”

Solas shook his head. “This is all I have ever been.”

“But the legends?” 

“They came later. At first, I only meant to set the people free from the chains of the Evanuris. These false gods called me Fen'Harel.” He scoffed. “And when they finally went too far I formed the Veil and banished them forever. In so doing I ensured my people's freedom – but destroyed their world.”

The admission made Sula shudder. “I have seen the Vir Dirthara. Was it all like this?” 

“Yes, the library, like many such wonders of the ancient elves were tied to the world and the Fade intrinsically. The Veil it rent them asunder. It destroyed the world of the elves as they knew it.” 

Solas turned away from her, but Sula caught a look of intense sadness on his face. “I destroyed it.” He heaved a huge sigh. “Your legends are half right. We were immortal, but it was not the arrival of humans that caused us to begin aging.”

Sula took in what he was saying and knew that he spoke the truth. A sinking, sick feeling settled in the pit of her stomach. “It was the Veil.”

Solas turned back to her and nodded. “The Veil took everything from the elves. Even themselves.”

“Why did you create it? Why separate this world and the Fade when you love it – care for it?”

Solas looked at her with pity and disgust.”You think it was easy? Had I not created the Veil the Evanuris would have destroyed the entire world. I had to find a way to stop them – and there was no other.”

Sula felt defiance well up in her. “How can you be sure?” She steadied herself. “You said they went too far. What did they do to force your hand?”

“They killed Mythal.” Solas chuckled mirthlessly, as if to himself and continued. “For that crime an eternity of torment is not enough.”

_ Nothing makes sense anymore.  _ “You said Mythal was one of the Evanuris. And I have seen –  _ we  _ have seen – an aspect of her still survives!”

“Yes, the first of my people do not die so easily, but that was but a shadow of her true self. She was the best of the Evanuris. She protected the people, cared for them.” Solas spoke firmly and narrowed his eyes. “She was the only voice of reason and in their lust for power they killed her.”

“And so you banished the Evanuris in punishment for this crime?” 

“It was more easily done than attempting to kill them all. And they are now banished, paying the price for their crimes for all eternity. “

Sula shivered at the tone of voice Solas had taken.  _ He is not a man to cross. Beware the Dread Wolf, indeed.  _

Maybe this was the time to ask some of the questions that had been gnawing at her since her discoveries in the ancient library. “Why did the Evanuris come to be remembered as gods?”

Solas smiled at her.  _ Pity again _ . “It all started with a war. When it ended victorious generals became kings and respected elders, later kings became gods.” Solas waved his hand dismissively. “There was not more to it than that.”

Sula felt the sick feeling in her stomach twist itself into something closer to anger. “So you refuse to talk about the past. What about the future?”

Solas heaved another great sigh and once again seemed unable to hold her gaze. “In dreaming dark and sleep I lay as countless wars and ages past. When I woke it was a year before I joined you. I was too weak operate the orb. Corypheus should have died when he tried to use it.” 

The admission sent chills down her spine. “You... you gave your orb to Corypheus?”

“Not as such. My agents allowed the Venatori to find it. Unfortunately it had built up too much magical energy over the millenia, I was too weak after my slumber to open it. The plan was for Corypheus to unlock it and for him to die in the subsequent blast. Then I would have been free to reclaim my orb.” Solas smiled wryly. “I had not foreseen that a Tevinter magister would have learned the secret of effective immortality, however.”

_ A callous move. _ “So if Corypheus had died as planned and you had claimed the orb, what would you have done?”

“I would have used the mark you now bear to tear down the Veil. As this world burned in the raw chaos, I would have restored the world of my time, the world of the elves.”

_ Surely, this did not mean...  _ Sula felt as if she had been petrified. “You would have destroyed this world? For the elves?”

He shook his head and began again. “I am the cause of my people's downfall. Yet some hope still remains for restoration. I will save the elven people even if this world must die.”

Sula stood, thunderstruck, the implication hitting her.  _ He does intend to bring down this world. He does not care about anyone but the elves. _ “Why does this world have to die for the elves to return?”

Solas mouth twisted. “A good question, but not one I will answer.” 

He looked at her again with the threatening pity that made Sula feel nauseous. “You have always been thoughtful. You have been a friend. I respect you. It would be too easy to tell you too much. I am not Corypheus. I take no joy in this. But the return of my people means the end of yours.”

Sula felt bile rise in her throat. “The end of  _ m _ _ y _ people? You mean the Inquisition? Or do you exclude the elves of this world in your definition of  _ elves _ then?”

“You must understand. I awoke in a world where the Veil had blocked most people's conscious connection to the Fade entirely - yes even the elves'. It was like walking in a world of tranquil.”

Was this truly meant to be his defense? “We aren't even real people to you?  _ I _ am an elf and I stand for so many more!”

“You showed me that I was wrong.” 

Sula felt herself relax slightly. Maybe she had judged Solas too harshly.  _ Maybe there is hope. _

He spoke quietly now, as if to himself. “That does not make what must come next any easier.”

_ Maybe not. _ “Were we always just means to an end for you? Why did you help us if you meant to destroy us?”

“You were people, you deserved better – like all the rest I have used in one useless battle or another.” He could not look at her now. “When Corypheus survived and you were left with the mark I knew the Inquisition was the best chance I had of stopping him. It has run its course now.”

“What's wrong with the Inquisition?” Plenty, she knew, but it was a knee-jerk response.  _ I have to protect my people! _

“Do you know how I discovered the Qunari plot? My spies in the Inquisition tripped over their spies in the Inquisition.” He sneered. “You have a powerful organization, which now suffers the inevitable fate of such: betrayal and corruption.”

“Why did you even bother to stop the Qunari if you plan on destroying this world anyway?” Sula spat, her temper finally getting the better of her. 

Solas looked at her sadly. “Because you have shown me that there is value to this world. Because I respect you. Because you were my friend. And because I am not a monster. I would rather the people of the South enjoy the time that remains and not be subjected to the Qun. At any rate, it is done now.” He turned his back on her again, this time heading for the eluvian behind him.

_ No! Not yet! _ Sula felt fear grip her tightly. “Wait! There is still the matter of the mark. It is getting worse!”

Solas moved back towards her with slow, careful steps. “Yes. I am sorry. We are almost out of time.”

_ Ah! _ Sula felt the mark spring to life as he approached, her arm burning as if on fire. She cried out in pain and felt tears spring to her eyes as the sensation became excruciating. 

She saw tendrils of magic extend from her hand toward Solas. The mark burned in bright vivid yellows and greens and now reached all the way past her elbow. She held her breath and felt cold sweat trickle down her back. 

“It will eventually kill you. Drawing you here gave me the chance to save you – at least for now,” Solas ended sadly. 

Sula looked into her former friend's eyes imploringly. “I cannot let you do this. You... you don't need to destroy the world. I will prove it to you!”

“I would treasure the chance to be wrong again.” Solas smiled at her benignly and Sula felt close to fainting with pain, confusion and fury. She did not know what to say.

“Take my hand.” Solas was standing right in front of her now and she could feel the overpowering magical force he exuded. 

She took the proffered hand, letting him grasp her marked arm.

“I'm sorry.” He said and then sent a stream of magic through her arm that was so strong and painful tearing through her, that she almost lost consciousness. Then, suddenly, the pain stopped completely. The abrupt change left her reeling. 

“Live well, while time remains.” And with these words Solas strode away and vanished through the eluvian for good. 

Sula sat still for a while, looking into the swirling mirage of the eluvian's glass until it turned coppery brown and still, shutting for good behind the man she knew as Solas.  _ Fen'Harel. _

_ __ _

It was not a trick of the eye, or momentarily confusion brought on by exhaustion. Her arm was disintegrating before her very eyes. There was no pain, but it was disconcerting, maddening even, to watch the tendrils of magic snake out and drift away, taking bits of her flesh with her. 

The arm had gone completely black as far as up to a faint glowing line about one or two fingers wide past her elbow.  _ I am going to lose it then.  _ The realization came to her slowly. In fact, everything around her seemed to be impossibly slow.  _ Has time stopped? _

She had to find a way out of here. There had to be another active eluvian somewhere – or another way back through the ruins. She was almost certain these were just another part of the ruins they had come through before.  _ There has to be a way. _

As she stood, shakily, a thud of something soft hit the ground. When she looked down, Sula realized with an odd sense of detachment that it had been her hand. The black, broken thing on the ground seemed so unlike to have come from her body that it was quite easy to pretend it had not. Even now there was still some magic in it, faint glimmers of green flaring up every now and then. Sula was mesmerized by it for a while until she felt a gust of wind that made her shiver and reminded her to get going. 

She stumbled among the rows of petrified Qunari.  _ Like a forest of bodies _ . They were blocking her way wherever she went.

Occasionally she would look down at her arm and see fragments of it blow away on the wind, reminding her of bits of ash from a burned log or a fire. It was now a black and dessicated thing. There still was no pain, but her head felt as if she had drunk one of those potent sleeping draughts she was normally weary of. Everything was slow and difficult. Nausea came back and made her retch. 

Eventually she realized she had ended up in the area she had first entered this part of the ruin and saw the eluvian behind the rows of stone Qunari. A glimmer of hope shot through her like a beacon.  _ Blue light? Active!  _ She ran towards it as fast as she could, afraid for the magic to stop before she could get there. 

She raised her remaining hand to the quivering surface – and broke the tension, stepping, falling through it, relief washing over her. 

On the other side she collapsed, trying to shake her head of all the cobwebs. 

There was a shout, a scream and the noise of feet racing towards her. 

“Inquisitor!”

“Sula!” 

She felt herself gathered up in Cassandra's strong arms –  _ safe _ \- before oblivion claimed her. 

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you to Amarmeme once again for your time and the beta.


	14. The End

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Cassandra fights to bring Sula back home. The fate of the Inquisition is decided.

  
  


When the eluvian closed behind Sula Cassandra had wanted to scream She wanted to punch the Maker-forsaken thing, knock it over. Wanted to howl her frustration into the placid, coppery surface taunting her. But she stopped herself. She knew, logically, that there was nothing she could do to activate the mirror. Its magics eluded her and the risk of damaging it might mean Sula was trapped forever.

The party had debated searching the ruins for another way to wherever Sula had been transported, but decided to not leave in the end. They could have gotten lost in the vast ruins, unable to return to the eluvian Sula had vanished into – or find a way back to Orlais. They might miss Sula entirely if the eluvian reactivated and she came back or they were given the chance to follow her after all.

The wait was excruciating and Cassandra felt a fear for Sula so intense that it almost choked her. _She is gone. Facing the Viddasala. Alone._ This feeling of helplessness ate away at her mercilessly, growing stronger the longer they spent without Sula.

“We must do something,” Cassandra cried, heaving against the mirror. Vivienne attempted, in a futile effort, to work magic on the great eluvian, tried to supply it with magical energy, hoping to stir it back into action. It had been something to do, even if they knew it was likely not to have an effect. Vivienne, capable mage that she was, knew little about elven artifacts. _But maybe..._ Watching the Grand Enchanter work distracted her all the same, hope bubbling up within her, making her forget to breathe. When spell after spell did nothing, her hope dwindled.

Meanwhile, Cole scouted the ruins, driven by the same urgent desire to find a way to Sula. No doubt he had picked up on her anguish, too. He was more spirit now than he had been during his time with the Inquisition, but it no longer disturbed her. She was fond of him now, even. He was a true spirit of compassion and she trusted his nature.

She had finally decided to busy herself finding a way back up to the eluvian they had come from. The drop down had been easily done, but going back up required a detour around the ruins and using crumbling walls as stepping stones and make-shift stairs. Yet it could be done. Figuring this out had brought her some relief for her racing thoughts and focused her mind.

As her eyes tracked Cole’s progress across the ruins, the eluvian suddenly came back to life. _Maker, let it be Sula!_

“Did you succeed?” Cassandra shouted and started to hurry to Vivienne's side.

“I wish I could claim this victory over the wretched thing, dear Seeker, but it seems to have done it of its own accord!” Vivienne stood back, regarding the eluvian with a good measure of distrust.

The great surface of the mirror contorted into water-like ripples and Vivienne retreated further, grasping her staff. Cassandra stopped short and watched, holding her breath. Someone was coming through.

A hand. An arm. Cassandra recognized Sula's armor with a sharp twang of relief that made her shudder. Sula stepped out of the eluvian, not looking up, but instead collapsing on the ground.  Cassandra’s relief was momentary. Something about Sula's collapsed form was strange, different. Sula seemed oddly twisted, cradling her left side – maybe there was an injury? 

She hurried towards her, shouting Sula's name, running to get to her quickly. Vivienne reached her much sooner and the look of horror on the Enchanter's face did not bode well. _What has happened to her?_

“Inquisitor.” Vivienne's voice was shaking slightly.

“Sula!” Cassandra gathered her lover into her arms.

It was as if Sula had been waiting for her, just holding on to consciousness until she was in Cassandra's arms. For, just a moment after she felt the reassuring warmth of Sula's very real form, Sula went slack in her embrace. _No, no, no, no!_

“Sula?” Cassandra whispered the name close to the pointed tip of Sula's ear, but there was no response, no twitch, no sign of life at all. “Sula?” She could feel ice cold panic settling on her. This was not the way this was supposed to end. Sula was to emerge again, victorious, as she had so many times before.

“I believe she has fainted,” Vivienne spoke calmly again, as if gentling her. “Cassandra, we cannot risk staying here. We have to bring her back to Halamshiral. She is injured. Her arm...”

Cassandra released her hold slightly and carefully, trying to assess the injury Vivienne spoke of. “Where-” she stopped. _Maker help us._

Sula's left hand was gone. The mark was gone. What remained of her arm was black and twisted, resembling more a burned branch than a living being's arm.

“What has happened to her?”

Vivienne shook her head. “I could not say what could have done this. It might be magic – or a weapon we have not encountered.”

Cole suddenly reappeared at Vivienne's side. She had not noticed his approach. “He has gone. He has left her. The wolf has taken her hand. He meant to be kind.”

The flash of anger that shot through Cassandra was bright and instant. _Can he not make sense for once!_ Cassandra bit back the response. She had to keep her head, this would do no good. Rationally she knew Cole was trying to help. “What are you talking about, Cole?”

“Solas is himself, but he is also the wolf.” Cole spoke to the ground, muttering, his face obscured by his enormous hat. “He is not what he seems. I knew him before. He made me forget. He broke the dreams to stop the old dreams from waking. The wolf chews its leg off to escape the trap.” 

“This was _Solas_ doing? What did he _do?!_ ” Cassandra yelled, frustration breaking through, “Tell us already, if you know!”

“He doesn't want to hurt anybody. He took her hand. You have to help her home. She will be alright. He is gone, you will not find him again.” Cole's voice was plaintive.

Cassandra felt like screaming. She would have throttled the boy, trying to make him speak sense, to tell them – tell her – but she was still supporting Sula and even if every nerve in her body howled with fury and fear, she knew better. “Make  _sense!_ ”  It came out with an ugly sob. 

__

Cole looked at her sadly. “You are hurting. I cannot help.”

“We should leave this place, Seeker.” Vivienne's hand brushed her cheek in passing before settling on her shoulder. “He will tell us more later, if he can. Right now, it is imperative we should try to get out of this place and back to Halamshiral as quick as we can, my dear. We are in no position to take on many more enemies, should we encounter them, and the Inquisitor needs help.”

She would have to carry Sula. The realization hit Cassandra after another attempt to rouse the Inquisitor, and she communicated her intent to Vivienne and Cole. There was no point in waiting around and they could not hope to camp out in the ruins without provisions and barely any potions left, not knowing if anyone was here besides them. She shed her pauldrons to make it easier to bear Sula in her arms and handed her  sword to Cole and shield to Vivienne in order to  shed some of the weight she was carrying. 

Sula was light, she had lifted her before. The real test of her strength would come in time,  whether she could carry Sula all the way back to the palace was debatable.  Maker forbid, they wouldn't fall under attack on the way back through the eluvians either. 

Cassandra carefully studied Sula. The charred-looking stump still seemed to be disintegrating before their eyes, crumbling away bit by bit. Closer to where Sula's hand had been, only blackened bone was left, which made for the initial appearance of a branch. It was a grisly sight. She shuddered and felt her chest tighten with fear. _What has been done to her?_

She asked Cole to cut away the remains of Sula's sleeve to study the injury better and to judge whether Sula could be carried the way she intended. To her surprise they found a clear separation between the black stump and healthy skin that began just a finger's breadth above Sula's elbow. “What sort of magic is this?”

Vivienne leaned over to look at the arm and gave a surprised hiss. “I have seen nothing like it before. It could be a magical tourniquet, holding off whatever has consumed her arm. Maybe she will tell us more when she wakes. Right now, we should begin our way back, my dear. It is getting dark.”

Cassandra huffed consent before kneeling before Sula and carefully maneuvering her into a sitting position. With Cole's help she raised her up further so she could grasp Sula's wrist and then, kneeling again, she pulled Sula towards her and over her shoulder. She carefully shifted herself so that Sula's body was resting on her shoulders behind her neck and brought her arm through Sula's legs, her hand hooking behind Sula's knee. She was able then, to bring Sula's healthy arm around her chest and secure her grasp on it. Sula's injured arm dangled lifelessly on her back.

Cassandra stood, slowly, carrying her burden, adjusting and finding her balance. _This would work. It had to work._ “Cole, go ahead, but stay close – take us along the path we came. Vivienne, behind me and keep an eye on the Inquisitor.”

_I will bring you home. I cannot lose you. Stay with me._

__

The way back proved arduous and slow, but mercifully free from any intrusion by hostile forces. They were completely alone in the vast elven ruins. Cassandra tried to press for time as much as she could, but her strength was draining. She felt her muscles starting to strain and tried to focus only on their path, on her breathing – on bearing Sula to safety. It became a meditation. A prayer.

They finally reached the grand eluvian that led back to the Qunari fortress when the last of the light had disappeared. Cassandra was soaked with sweat and the cool gusts of wind that came with the break of night provided some relief. There the party rested, sharing some water and discussing tactics for making it through the fortress.

Their initial way through it had been so swift and driven by the adrenaline of near constant fights that Cassandra found it impossible to say whether they had really left behind an empty fortress. Had they seen all the Qunari leave – and slain the rest? She hoped so, but they could not be sure.

Cassandra's muscles screamed as she lifted Sula yet again and they set off through the eluvian. She was slightly disoriented at first, emerging into bright sunlight, reminded again of the vast distance they must have traveled through the mirrors.

The fortress was eerily quiet and seemed deserted. They traversed the big hall, in which the dragon had been held, and it was apparent that nobody had been there since they had left. The echo of their footsteps was all they heard. The place was still a picture of destruction with Qunari corpses strewn about and the remains of the venom harvesting operation torn to pieces by the great beast. The smell of blood and fire hung in the air, sick and cloying.

Cole's quick thinking and observant nature led them to pieces of wood and rope that were quickly assembled into a make-shift stretcher, which they transferred Sula onto carefully. The party was able to take turns now, carrying or pulling the stretcher.

Cassandra felt supremely thankful and weak with exertion. Yet their progress spurred her on once more. They had come this far, they would succeed. _She will be safe._

__

They broke through the eluvian at Halamshiral stumbling from utter exhaustion. Cassandra remained at Sula's side while Vivienne and Cole left to report what they had discovered, flanked by guards posted near the eluvian.

The guards sprang into action and within minutes they were surrounded by more Inquisition soldiers and a healer arrived.

Cassandra refused to leave Sula's side and so was taken to an infirmary where she, too, was tended to and her wounds taken care of. She watched the healers study Sula's arm feeling like a watchful dog, ready to pounce the minute she perceived a threat to Sula.

Sula was still unconscious still and looked impossibly small and vulnerable on the cot. Cassandra refused to lie down when told to, opting instead for a big chair that had been brought from a study.

Cassandra accepted a basin for washing and cleaned the grime and dirt off herself and changed into simple clothes that had been provided from her kit. A small meal was brought to the room and she had had some fruit and water, but for the night she settled in, watching Sula's chest rise and fall, fighting sleep and praying to the Maker. _Give her strength!_

 _I am not alone. Even_  
_As I stumble on the path_  
_With my eyes closed, yet I see_  
_The Light is here._

She was grateful Sula's condition did not seem to have worsened. She looked pale, but not deathly so. One might mistake her for asleep. She slept undressed, wrapped in a sheet. The healers had washed her, with some interference from Cassandra, and now the injured arm rested above the blanket on a clean piece of white cloth.

The blackened bone must have crumbled and snapped – or simply disintegrated - on their last leg of the journey, Cassandra remembered seeing it still in the fortress, but when they emerged in Halamshiral and she had looked at the arm it had become less again. Now there was but a few fingers' space of blackened mass before the line separating healthy skin from ash. She stared, trying to guess at the make-up of the wound until her vision blurred and thoughts became repetitive.

She must have fallen asleep after a while, because she woke with a start to find it had gone dark outside. Faint candle light dimly lit the room. Her head ached and when she moved her muscles screamed, sore from not only their trek home with Sula across her back, but also hours spent sleeping in an uncomfortable position. 

“-sandra?” She came fully awake in an instant. The voice had been a whisper but it was Sula. 

“You are awake?” She looked over to the cot, squinting, her mind frantic with sudden hope. _Thank the Maker!_

There was a soft sound, like a snort and she saw Sula's shape move in the shadows. Cassandra reached her side in an instant.

“I have been for a while, but I told the healers to let you rest.” Sula's voice was barely a whisper, but her eyes were open and focused on Cassandra's.

Cassandra felt her legs go weak, relief washing over her, overpowering her ability to think rationally. She sunk down next to the cot unable to stop herself from crying, overwhelmed by the emotions hitting her hard.

“I am here.” Sula lifted her right arm and reached out towards her and Cassandra took her hand and grasped it tightly.

“What... happened to your hand – to the mark?” she finally asked.

The stump seemed shorter yet, and only the edges of it were still coated in ashen, necrotic tissue.

“Solas did that. He is... an incredibly powerful mage. He knew how to stop the mark from growing, but I think its deterioration stopped what he did before from being effective.” Sula swallowed hard. “I suppose he was kind doing this. The pain stopped almost immediately. I suppose it was a way to stop the magic – he could not save my arm – but he made the cut better than any surgeon could. I am not sure what happened after. It might have been part of the magic. I was lost in the ruins... and then I found you again.” The grasp on Cassandra's hand tightened. “I knew I was safe then.”

Cassandra felt her throat constrict with emotion. “You have a lot of faith in me.”

“I do.” Sula's eyes were wide and earnest.

“I carried you. Not all of the way but I-” Cassandra faltered. How could she possibly put into words what it had been like.

“Thank you.” Sula's thumb brushed over the back of her hand in a small caress. “Thank you, for all that you have done for me. You have been...” Sula's voice trailed off shakily and Cassandra saw tears in her eyes. “I love you. I wish you knew how much.”

“I am so afraid to lose you. I...” Cassandra leaned forward to bring Sula's hand to her lips, kissing it and then letting Sula cradle her face in her palm. “I love you.”

Sula pulled her closer and Cassandra leaned forward to get brought into a kiss, hungry with longing and relief. Sula inched to the edge of the cot to allow Cassandra some space beside her.

They held each other for a long time before finally succumbing to sleep again.

__

It was only a day later that the guards stationed outside their room were no longer able to shield them from the rather forceful requests of the Inquisition's ambassador to speak with Sula.

“I understand you are still recovering from your ordeal, Inquisitor, but the situation can no longer wait.” Josephine said, her eyes flashing with defiance and stance immovable.

Indeed the reports they had heard of the accusations made against them by the Council, particularly the Ferelden representative had been shocking.

“We must deal with this, now.” Sula agreed and Cassandra had finally acquiesced to Josephine. _She has a will of iron._

Cassandra could not keep herself from worrying, however. Sula was still shaken. She had slowly told Cassandra about her encounter with Solas. Even though the remains of the black and dead tissue of the arm had crumbled away, leaving behind only a smooth expanse of skin, stretching over the muscle and bone of what remained of Sula's left arm, Sula was also still dealing with the shock of losing her hand. Adjusting to the loss of it would be a long and trying journey. Her determination now was admirable, but Cassandra wondered how long it could last.

Right now, however, Sula stepped into the role of the Inquisitor. Cassandra had watched it happen, watched Sula turn into the steadfast Inquisitor, even as she helped her put on her dress uniform. She had pinned up the sleeve of the jacket with shaky fingers – and then drew Sula into her arms again, holding her, never wanting to let go.

__

“We stand at the brink of war with the Qunari.” The Orlesian representative was obviously distraught. His face was flushed under his elaborate mask.

“Yes, because this Solas provoked them in the first place!” Arl Teagan pointed his finger at Josephine, who had addressed the Exalted Council and informed them of their new discoveries.

“The Inquisition did not cause this threat. We informed the Council of the danger-” Here Josephine was brusquely cut off.

“The danger posed by Qunari spies in _your_ organization!” Arl Teagan spoke over the ambassador, dismissing her protestations with a shake of his head.

 _Ass_. Cassandra wished quietly she stood close enough to deck him. Instead she cut in deliberately and loudly. “Without _our_ organization none of us would be here to _complain_.”

The Arl sighed dismissively. “No one has forgotten what you have done. But Corypheus is two years dead. What purpose do you serve now?”

“If the Inquisition is to continue it must do so as a legitimate organization.” The Orlesian chimed in in agreement. “What are you now, but a glorified mercenary band?”

Cassandra bit her lip and was relieved when Sula finally strode through the doors. She had urged Cassandra and Josephine to go on ahead earlier, wanting to go and fetch something important. Cassandra had watched her leave with one of Leliana's servants, wondering at her intent.

Sula approached the Council finally, striding forward to stand besides Josephine, giving a court nod in acknowledgment of the the Council, then dropping a bag she had been carrying on the desk facing the Council. She projected such strength and calm determination that Cassandra felt a surge of pride for her.

“You all know what this is.” Sula began, pulling out of the bag a heavy tome and brandishing it before all assembled for the Council.

Cassandra felt chills run down her spine as she immediately recognized the book in Sula's hand.

“A writ from Divine Justinia authorizing the formation of the Inquisition.” Sula turned, raising it high above her head, making sure everyone could see. “We promised to close the Break, find those responsible and restore order.” Her voice held a note of unmistakable triumph as she ended, “With or without anyone's approval.”

Cassandra felt a powerful rush of elation and triumph pass between herself and Sula, as she caught her eye and smiled back at her. These had been her words. She remembered that first fateful day of the Inquisition's formation vividly. She had stood in defiance of Chancellor Roderick and likely the Chantry, she had used these words to stand up for her beliefs, to defend Sula and to join forces with her in trying to restore order in Thedas. They had stood together since then – and they were still standing now.

“We have fulfilled that pledge and now the war is over. For most of us.” Sula spoke carefully and leveled her gaze at the Council then turned to face all assembled to watch the Council proceedings. “It is time for our soldiers to sheathe their swords and go home. To all who have served: Thank you.”

She put down the tome and offered a very astounded Josephine her hand. ”It has been an honor.”

“Effective immediately the Inquisition is disbanded.”

There were gasps, cheers and shouts as Sula strode out of the Council chambers decisively, not looking back.

__

Cassandra found Sula at the edge of the garden overlooking the Orlesian countryside. The afternoon sun was warm and a large tree cast some shade over a sheltered corner, tucked away from most eyes passing by. It was, in fact, a place Cassandra herself had often retreated to when she longed for some solitude in midst of the bustle of the Winter Palace. The high walls separating it from the rest of the gardens also served to block out most of the noise, music and chatter that drifted through the rest of the palace gardens. It was a relief to be able to find some peace in a place such as this. The air was fresher here, a breeze coming over from the hills surrounding Halamshiral and carrying towards them the smell of freshly cut hay.

“I received your message.” She walked towards the balustrade until she stood next to Sula.

“I am sorry I left like that.” Sula sounded contrite, her voice barely above a whisper. “I just... I had to do this quickly before I lost my nerve.”

“I understand.” Cassandra nodded. “It was certainly a dramatic gesture. Very effective.” She smiled as she caught Sula's eye.

“I hoped it would be.” Sula sighed deeply, but then stood a little straighter. “I hope it was the right thing to do.”

“You had to make a decision. The Inquisition could not very well have continued as it was after all we discovered.” Cassandra leaned over slightly so she made contact with Sula's shoulder and felt Sula lean towards her in return. “Thank you. For everything you have done. The Inquisition could not have succeeded without you.”

“Nor without you.” Sula looked at her sincerely, then her brow drew together slightly. “What do we do now? I mean, you have the Seekers, but I...” she trailed off, “I am not sure. I suppose Leliana will have an idea of how I might start to locate Solas. Her network of spies remains.”

“You need some time to recover first, my love.” Cassandra chastised her gently. “Then we will do what must be done to keep our world safe.”

Sula swallowed, a concerned look on her face. “You are right, of course.”

Cassandra took her hand and held it firmly. “We will work together. Even if our duties must keep us apart sometimes, I promise I will not let it be long. I want to spend my life with you – no matter which paths we take or wherever we go.”

Sula's eyes filled with tears, but the smile that shone on her face allayed Cassandra's concerns and made her heart leap. She was reminded then of the time they had last stood in these gardens together and she had been unaware of what Sula had been feeling. This time she knew what was in her heart, knew that Sula loved her and that her love was reciprocated. Whatever fears she might have, she knew that this love was worth fighting for.

Cassandra stepped closer, drawing Sula towards her tenderly. _My friend. My love._ The kiss was suddenly wet with tears, but her heart soared with happiness.

They were due to meet the rest of the former Inquisition and Divine Victoria for a celebration of goodbyes, but if they were late – so be it. They had earned some freedom from their duties.

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much to all who read, left kudos or commented. You've made many of my days. 
> 
> Thank you to MissRachelThalberg, for a lot of the initial beta-ing and willingness to read my stories despite not having played more than the trial of DAI. (And for kindly letting me go on about Cassandra Pentaghast for hours.)
> 
> Thank you to Amarmeme for the excellent beta of the later chapters, for many discussions about game lore, for cheering me on, helping me improve my writing - and for making sure I brought the angst and feels. 
> 
> Thank you all for bearing with me. I had a lot of self-indulgent fun writing this, which I know does not always make for the best stories, but I hope it kept you entertained. ;)
> 
> So Sula and Cassandra left it a little late to get together, but I still believe the future holds a lot of wonderful adventures for them, as well as a lot of challenges - but also a lot of happiness. 
> 
> <3
> 
> (Cassandra's prayer is from the Canticle of Trials. Thank you once again, Dragon Age wiki.)


End file.
